Girlfriend with bipolar disorder, don't know what to do ...
Posted , 3 users are following.
Hello, I do not know where to begin, i guess i will start with saying who i am.
I am Daan, 23 years old, My girlfriend and i are together for 1 year and a half give or take.
The Situation:
Both are fathers died, mine when i was 3 years old hers only 5 years ago.
I am looking for work, with temporary jobs here and there, she works as household help for a support group who help people who do not have it easy.
She lives with her grandfather she has the entire upper floor for herself, and i slowly started living here, it was never planned, it just happened.
The problem:
As u might have suspected my girlfriend has bipolar disordar, undiagnosed and thus untreated. But my girlfriend warned me about this when we got together that she MIGHT have this because her father had it, a year has passed and i have been doing my research, and everything i find is a perfect match.
I confronted her about this a month or 2 ago, she made an appointment with someone to talk about this (psychiatrist (hope i wrote it correctly).
Wich made me very happy, the appointment is end of next week, however in the passing 2 months nothings has changed if not gotten worse ...
In her eyes there is alot wrong in the relationship. and to cut a long story short its all my fault, i dont try enough to get the relationship working etc.
But i am pointing out all the bad moments here, because if that was all of it, than how can u love someone who tortures u 24/7 , as bipolar goes, she switches every now and than. somethimes life is good, life couldnt be better and thus the relationship thrives.
But recently because of pressure of the situation she is stuck in the position where there isnt alot of hope for the relationship, and she is basicly with both foots out of the relationship. and this is where i need help, she does not cut the rope with me, she stays in the relationship, as i believe waiting for me to end it.
But i do not kno if i have to give up, i love her, and the tought of letting her go brings tears to my eyes (no expression),
She goes to her friends who have no idea of her Bipolar D , and she talks about our relationship with them, and she comes home with always the same advice that she has to break up with me ... , any discussion / fight about this results in me speaking against her and getting for the most part the same respond that if it doesnt please me how she is, that i should leave
I cannot let her go like this, because some outsider says that she deserves better etc, and ofcourse because her friends say this, she believes them.
i hear it coming in the comments, people will say wait till she talked with the counciler, and get her medicin, but she does not want medicin because she feels it will change her, and i will not pressure her to do anything she does not want to .
So now i post this in the main question to the audiance, do i let her go for her sake, do i let her go for mine or both our sakes, or do i stop whining like a little girl, and keep trying with her?
Thank you to all who took the time to read this, and double thanks for comments. i am in deep, and i believe slowly grinding myself into depression, help is much needed
0 likes, 3 replies
Daan324
Posted
su1977 Daan324
Posted
Hi Daan, bipolar is a condition that can put a huge strain on a relationship. I have bipolar II so it's more mild than bipolar I but it's not to say I haven't had my episodes. My husband was at a complete loss and didn't know what to do, how to react, or help me. And really there was nothing he could do. Nothing made me feel good or normal. I had breakdown after breakdown and it was tough on us both. But I made a conscious decision to seek help and I knew if medication was necessary, there would be no hesitation on my part - I would take it. Bipolar I medication can be something harsh in that it can change someone's personality. I hear it can make them feel foggy and emotionless. She needs help though and with bipolar, medication is almost always necessary. I've never heard of anyone being able to treat it without meds. I hate to say this but if she refuses, your relationship will only get worse. If you're willing to live this life, then by all means stay but be prepared. As someone concerned for you, I think it would be a healthy choice to end it if she won't make the effort to treat her condition. I don't like to advise people to call it quits but you have to keep yourself healthy and happy too. Its not selfish. You can only do so much for someone that doesn't want to help themself. You can certainly stay friends and continue to support her but this situation is by all means very unhealthy. I'm very sorry as I'm sure this is not what you want to hear. But if she does seek treatment and she's committed to sticking with it then I would probably give her a chance and stay. I do wish you both happiness, together or apart.
Guest su1977
Posted
You are only guessing that she is bipolar, she hasn't been diagnosed yet, and it will take more than one meeting with a psychiatrist to arrive at a proper diagnosis, and treatment plan.
Then she has to COMMIT to the plan and work at making it successful. You can be a part of this process, if she let's you in, but that is not a given.
My advice is to let her know about your feelings, and that you'll be there for her to help with treatment, and then back away.
If she is in denial and can't commit to the diagnosis and treatment, which sounds likely to me, you'll be in for a life of heartache and misery.
Good luck