giving up on alcoholic friend but codine to numb the pain

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I wrote on here last week that i had walked away from my alcoholic friend who refuses to get professional help like going into Rehab for his addiction and I know I did the right thing. Yes I have spotted him around at times drinking even more now. He is back on his nasty bottles of cider instead of his weak cans of larger so he is even worse then ever. He has tried to talk me and told me that he will be off it all soon because he has a plan coming up that he will be working soon with a friend to make money and that will take alcohol of his mind. I dont beleive that for a start and know its not as simple as that when you are addicted to alcohol. He knows he has hurt me a lot in the past too because I did like him a lot, but knew it wasnt right with him having an addiction and im not a drinker at all. But leaving 2 minutes away from him isnt easy when i spot him all the time. When he has been drunk he has given me so many mixed messages, then told me different that he just likes me as a friend. So thats another reason why i walked away from him too. But this last week to numb the pain I have taken a few codine pain killers which have helped but i know that can be dangerous too and can lead to an addiction too. So i have started to see a psychotherapist to help me deal with this sitution. Its expensive like £50 for an hour once a week but i believe it will help. At this moment in time, all I have done is blame myself for wasting to much time and energy over someone who said they wanted help to stop drinking and all along, they never bothered. In the end they just hurt me and it became to much. I hate the fact that iv done this now and its annoying that i still have to bump into this person who knows exactly how i feel about this, but acts like everything is still ok when its not. 

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  • Posted

    Hi Wanda, please do not feel that you wasted time and energy on your. Friend, believe you me I am sure that it was very much appreciated..... addiction is a terrible, awful and cruelly sad disease...I am sure that your friend had no intention to hurt you and believed himself that he. May have been able to do it this time and stop drinking.....

    I was a very bad alcoholic for more than ten years ( I was sectioned four. Times ) I have a wonderful husband, four children and close family that. Never ever gave up on me... I never thought that I would be able to stop but I did....

    I know that it is probably impossible for you, but could you find it in your heart to keep a small amount of hope for him

    Alcoholics have to almost pretend that nothing has changed or else there is no way to cope with the self hatred and disgust we all feel also. Terrible guilt... you must look after yourself,try to eat and sleep well, you can get emotional support from ( al-anon ) and also through you GP,£50 an hour seems an awful !!! Lot to pay for counselling, try to find a. Self help group in your local area......I hope that everything works out for.you and never forget that even though he may not have shown it, he truly would have been grateful and comforted to have your loyal and caring, loving support.... you will be in my thoughts, take care, sincere wishes to you, Deirdre xxx

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    • Posted

      I do have some hope in me one day that he will get help, but if i stay around i dont think he will due to believing that im the one supporting him all the time. The only way he may get help now is me constantly keeping a distant from him which may kick his ass into gear as he has no one else in his life to support him. If i stay around then he will just constantly drag me down even though im sure he doesnt mean too. He needs to learn the hard way now without me being there for him
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    • Posted

      hi Wanda, i am an alcoholic and drug addict- you made the right decision - walk away- i have just walked away from my g-freind/best/friend- it was the hardest thing i have ever done- i have not had a drink since 2005 - and i am 20+days clean from pain medication, too which i became addicted following back and shoulder surgery- though my g-freind knew of my alcoholism - i never admitted to her that i was addicted to pain medication though she was aware i was taking large quantities of them - if you truly love and care for someone  there is no way you can drag them into the world of addiction, no one deserves that- though she wanted me to remain with her - deep down i think she knew it was the right decision- though i am clean and sober today i do not know whether i will be tomorrow- or the next day- that is the nature of the disease- the lying and self delusion  go,s with the disease- i dont trust myself so how can i ask anybody else to trust me- you cannot help your freind only he can make that decision- get off the codiene NOW - i have been addicted to it - please do not take a chance on getting addicted to it - walk away and stay clean - good luck 
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    • Posted

      Thanks for your reply. Yes iv been addicted to pain killers in the past 9 years ago for 6 months and i weaned myself of them without any support which was hard work. So im going to make sure i keep of them again. I know its hard work to keep away from my alcoholic friend, but its for the best and he knows it too deep down. Iv never been addicted to alcohol or any illegal drugs before. But i can see and understand how hard it must be for someone to live that way. My friend doesnt look after himself proper. There has become days when he hasnt had a shower for 2 weeks nor changed his clothes and yes its discusting. But i have helped him for months which has dragged me down. So im better out of the way to make him learn the harder way
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  • Posted

    fair play to you for getting off the pain meds on your own- so you know you need to be careful with them now- very easy to slip back into using them as a crutch- to make life a little easier to bear- doesent work unfortunately you end up needing more and more of them- good decision on walking away/break all contact it will be easier in the long run- get on with your own life - dont become another victim of this disease- you need to protect yourself- best of luck- stay strong- reach out anytime you feel the need-
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