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Giving up on love

Posted , 5 users are following.

Sing4TheKing
Sing4TheKing

I'm feeling it is hopeless to find someone who will be accepting of my GH. I want to find love, but I don't want to risk being hurt thru rejection. Anyone have any advice or experiences they want to share on this subject?

2 likes, 12 replies

12 Replies

  • Guest
    Guest Sing4TheKing

    Posted

    Hey Sing4TheKing, I myself just found out that I have genital herpes. The thought of never finding anyone who accepts me is the hardest part of finding out I contracted this Std. I'm scared for my future but I havr had more than one person tell me that they have found love and they now have children. If they can do it so can we I suppose. Just gotta think positive.  
  • hope4cure
    hope4cure Sing4TheKing

    Posted

    In my experience when luv does find it way to any heart the true test is they accept the one they luv warts and all.

    u have UR health UR whole future. UR not near the end of life come on have faith in irself. Remember one in six have H between 14 and 49 . So what r u waiting for?  

    When u least expect it it someone will dog smack u in the face and heart. In the mean time TC and live and be successful.

  • sunshine44960
    sunshine44960 Sing4TheKing

    Posted

    Hi Sing4TheKing,

    Why do you have to give up on something so special like love because you have GH?

    I'm not saying having herpes is nothing but it doesn't have to define your life or limit you living life to the fullest.  Have you come to terms with having herpes? If you haven't then you are not ready to go out there and if you do when you are not ready then you will only transmit to any potential partner your fear and consequently they will be afraid too and wouldn't want to be with you.

    When you come to terms with having herpes then you arm yourself psychological for any outcome. Actually it's like any encounter herpes or no herpes. There is always a 50-50 % of being accepted or rejected. I know it's a bit different when you have a disease but you have to look at it from a positive point of view: you have a finer filter and you will filter off those who are closed minded.

    When you meet the right woman she will see past the herpes to the person you really are and that is really what matters.

    The weapon you really have to develop at this stage is to prepare yourself for rejection and not take it too personally cause it will only poison your life and stop you from looking for you. Just live your life smile

     

    • Sing4TheKing
      Sing4TheKing sunshine44960

      Posted

      Thank you Sunshine. I'm actually wanting to meet the right manlol. I'm not about to sleep with someone without telling them I am infected. I feel that anyone who does...no matter how afraid they are, are only thinking of themselves, and not concerned about their partner. As I told my friend, I would feel like I was trapping him into the relationship. That is why I, just today, have been rejected by him, a man I had fallen head over heels over. I am a painfully honest person, and could never sleep with anyone before "the discussion". I have come to terms with having herpes, but that doesn't mean I am comfortable with it. I've been rejected before, and blew it off. This time, I feel my heart has been ripped from my chest. I really had hoped this one would work, because it is so hard to find a good man out in this wretched world today. We have so much in common, and I had such an amazing silly time with him. I know he enjoyed our time together as much as I did. Now the moment is gone...ruined because of this thing. That is what poisons me right now. The thought of putting myself thru this again really makes it hard to get out and live life. Sorry so negative. Please forgive me. I know time heals all wounds. rolleyes
    • Sing4TheKing
      Sing4TheKing sunshine44960

      Posted

      Ok, sorry Sunshine. I misread your message as I would be so afraid to say something to my partner that I'd go ahead and sleep with them and risk transmitting the GH. Blame it on lack of sleep! rolleyes I get it now that I've read it a 3rd time. LOL You do have a wonderful point. I do feel as tho I transmitted my fear. If I would have waited a bit longer, til after I joined this forum perhaps, maybe I could have shared some vital information that may have made him more comfortable with me and possibly, just possibly, we may not have broken up. Lesson learned!
    • sunshine44960
      sunshine44960 Sing4TheKing

      Posted

      Sorry Sing4TheKing for some unknown reason I assumed you were male, reason why I was talking about meeting a woman in my previous post, pardon me.

      I'm really sorry to hear you have been through a rejection, that hurts I concord.

      It's the right thing to tell any potential partner about your situation and you will not have that on your conscience if you don't.

      I might be wrong but in my opinion love is unconditional and if a person truely loves you they will get past illnesses, financial situations or whatever. Well maybe I'll think differently if I didn't have herpes but the fact is being sick shouldn't be the determining factor to be with someone. I know, no one is comfortable with having herpes nor any disease for that matter, we just get all the information we need to make sure the disease doesn't have a major impact on our life.

      You have to "get up" again for there is a man out there just for you smile

    • hope4cure
      hope4cure sunshine44960

      Posted

      I give SUNSHINE all my votes today.. THANKX for sharing such a positive story for support our friends...

      CHEERS

    • Sing4TheKing
      Sing4TheKing sunshine44960

      Posted

      Thank you Sunshine. Your words encourage and inspire me very much! I'll work on that attitude wink

      Don't worry bout the mix up. You are most definitely pardoned smile

      I always feel like a bunny in the bushes when it comes to telling a partner. I fear I need to hide, but then I feel them getting closer, so I dart out and end up getting shot down. I just don't want to get so close that it becomes too close, and I have this problem with not letting the thought go from my mind until the disclosure is over. It eats at me and becomes an ongoing thought that haunts me til the moment it is disclosed. I have it going round and round in my head and can't seem to focus on anything else. I felt, this time that instead of letting it gnaw at me and torture me, I needed to tell him. After all, things were getting very heated and he was beginning to feel rejected himself...not understanding why.

      Anyway, I will try with all my might to get over this rejection. I know one day I will stand up and brush myself off. Not so sure how soon I'll get out there and look. I may just wait for someone to come to me. I've heard when you stop looking, that's when they come to you.

  • gijane
    gijane Sing4TheKing

    Posted

    I replied through my post gijane.... Check it out.  I think in time you will find something real.  
  • Populargrl75
    Populargrl75 Sing4TheKing

    Posted

    i understand exactly how you feel. Was just diagnosed in January. I thought it was a dream. Was sick to my stomach. I thought I'd never find anyone. But fate kicked in...

    I met my current bf on an online dating site (okcupid) once it seemed things were getting serious we shared with each other how we contracted the virus from a previous relationship. It was completely meant to be. Our relationship is not only normal but Way beyond that (I have found my soulmate). We still have an intimate relationship and don't have to worry about infecting the other person. 

    You will find someone and not let the virus ruin your life. There are also dating sites for people who have been infected. 

    Hope this helps. Good luck. 

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