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Giving up on things, no direction in life

Posted , 4 users are following.

ecler
ecler

Hi All

I smoked a lot of cannabis in my teenage years and was always a very shy, lonely person growing up.  I think these amonst other things caused my anxiety and depression which I have suffered from for around 7-8 years.  It has gotten worse as time has went on.  I have attended CBT and it certainly has helped me understand my thoughts and emotions more but I sometimes feel the depression or anxiety catching me off guard and leave me in such a low worthless mood.

After I stopped I went to University and then went in to my field of work.  I have done quite a bit of travelling which has definitely opened up my mind.  I have been working for a year or two in my field and I can't help but feel isn't there more to life than this?  

I feel stuck like I am going round in circles and that life is unfair and wonder if there is any point.

I really want to do something I enjoy more and not be stuck in an office feeling like my life is passing me by but I have some financial commitments and also don't want to quit my job to become a bum.  

I often worry what other people think of me or what other people would think of what I am doing with my life and work.

I really love audio and have been trying to learn to produce but it always leaves me feeling really stressed and irritated because it doesn't sound right and look in to the future so much and wonder if theres even any point in doing it or will I ever find ANYTHING I enjoy that I can do for a job.

I am lucky in that I have a few people to turn to but I thought it might be good for me to speak to other people who have felt the same as me and maybe have some good words.

Anything is appreciated, I really want to get back to enjoying life again.

Thanks

0 likes, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • keni
    keni ecler

    Posted

    Hiya, firstly and very important, don't concern yourself with what other people may think about you, to be frank about it most people aren't that caring and only you know the true you. From whatg I've read you seem a pretty deep and worthwhile person, be proud of that, as said many people aren't that way. I've had clinical depression caused by a third dose of general anaesthetic within an 11month period, for about 5 yyears now and I've been through hell. I have always been open about it and if anyone looked down upon me because of it then that's a slur on them, not me. I've found  that about 50% of people are ok with it but as for the others, I really don't care what they think.....I'm not just saying that for your sake, I mean exactly that. You have to become the same, you're only here once so make the most of it and don't worry about what people think. Secondly, are you on medication for your depression and anxiety?
    • ecler
      ecler keni

      Posted

      Hi Keni

      Thanks for your kind words.  I am with you on what you are saying.  I am not on medication.  I am put off by the side effects of it/becoming dependent on it/physical effects(tired, zombied etc...).  I know I have the power and strength to do this on my own but every once in a while it can be really though when you feel you are near breaking point.

    • keni
      keni ecler

      Posted

      Trust me when I say this ecler, my depression got soooo bad that I binned the nat health Psychiatrists, useless....got myself a private one who quickly, within a half hor, diagnosed clinical depressin triggered by the anaesthetic I'd had.....what he sad to me really made me think. He said, he has people in front of him who are so depressed that the last thing they're thinking about is going to the toilet....it just isn't an issue compared to what they're currently going through so even though they aren't incontinent they just go where they're sitting, the depression is so bad. That really made me think and to realise that there are many people a LOT worse even than I was at the time. Remember that and it puts things in perspective.
    • ecler
      ecler keni

      Posted

      Thank you so much for your replies Keni.  It gave me a much needed boost to get me out of a rut I was in.  Really appreciated
  • keni
    keni ecler

    Posted

    GREAT!!!! Remember the bit about loads of people are a LOT worse off than we are, e.g. imagine living in Africa having to drink pond water, with little food and disease all around! If I were a millionaire like all of the footballers today or even close to it, I'd send a load of money to the right people to set up desalination plants to give the poor people out there clean drinking water, I wonder how many of these rich people do things like that. Of course some do but it takes me back to what I said at first, i.e most people............etc.
  • jamie6556
    jamie6556 ecler

    Posted

    Alright ecler.. I was pretty much the same about 6months ago.. smoked a lot pretty much since the age of 14... in all honesty I hoped I didn't wake up in the morning but what I found helped is change. .got a new job and after pretty much saving for the last 6 months im in the latter stages of moving away and starting afresh. .. if there's anything you want to ask go ahead
    • ecler
      ecler jamie6556

      Posted

      Hi Jamie

      Do you mind me asking what you done before ofr a job and what you do now? Where are you moving?

      Thanks

    • jamie6556
      jamie6556 ecler

      Posted

      I was a manager of 3 small convenience stores. . working like 70hrs a week.. sometimes more. . barley slept. . lost loads of weight. . and im already naturally skinny ..went on antidepressants for about 4 months and in all honesty they made it 10 times worse..side effects was ridiculous. pretty much my sister bailed me out. . lived at hers for 6 months. . got the new job fitting conservatories .. regular hours days off.. im moving to Edinburgh. . live in the west midlands atm.. been tbere a few times. . amazing city..start job hunting start of may.. have my birthday here then go..
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