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I smoked a lot of cannabis in my teenage years and was always a very shy, lonely person growing up. I think these amonst other things caused my anxiety and depression which I have suffered from for around 7-8 years. It has gotten worse as time has went on. I have attended CBT and it certainly has helped me understand my thoughts and emotions more but I sometimes feel the depression or anxiety catching me off guard and leave me in such a low worthless mood.
After I stopped I went to University and then went in to my field of work. I have done quite a bit of travelling which has definitely opened up my mind. I have been working for a year or two in my field and I can't help but feel isn't there more to life than this?
I feel stuck like I am going round in circles and that life is unfair and wonder if there is any point.
I really want to do something I enjoy more and not be stuck in an office feeling like my life is passing me by but I have some financial commitments and also don't want to quit my job to become a bum.
I often worry what other people think of me or what other people would think of what I am doing with my life and work.
I really love audio and have been trying to learn to produce but it always leaves me feeling really stressed and irritated because it doesn't sound right and look in to the future so much and wonder if theres even any point in doing it or will I ever find ANYTHING I enjoy that I can do for a job.
I am lucky in that I have a few people to turn to but I thought it might be good for me to speak to other people who have felt the same as me and maybe have some good words.
Anything is appreciated, I really want to get back to enjoying life again.
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