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GOD JUST LET ME DIE

Posted , 7 users are following.

linda39526
linda39526

I have a hernia in my stomach that is so huge that it is erversable i have been told.I have already had 2 mesh operations. the last one lasted 7mo. & came right through the mesh again . If i lose 70 pounds they say they could maybe operate again but with all my other health problems . COPD , very bad thyroid problems & cogestive heart problems  they say that i am very high risk & i have about a 70% chance if they operate that it could put me in ICU for a long time or be fatal. It is so large i cant even lay down to sleep cause it goes up agaist my lungs & my heart. soon it will be strangulated & i will die. Exercising pushes irt out even more & i have severe back pain when i try to walk. I am to inbarresed to go out in puplic cause i feel like a deformed freak. Please if anyone can help me i am hopeless. i am 48 yrs old & not ready to die. most days i wake up wishing i wouldn't of though.HELP 

1 like, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • clarice34348
    clarice34348 linda39526

    Posted

    Linda, I am sad to read about your health problems.

    I cannot offer you any advise, but I will be putting your name on my prayer list and ask the church to pray for you.

    I am not trying to push any religion on you, but I am an old lady of 70 and I have always believed in prayers.

    I also felt like you do a few times, about wanting to die because of a medical problem, but we are not God. I will ask for His Abgels to surround you with peace, comfort, and amazing love. I will also pray for a miracle in your life. I am not religious, I just believe in God, thru the Name of Jesus. Praying for you.

  • stacy33375
    stacy33375 linda39526

    Posted

    Linda, I will pray that God will put His healing hands on you. I can't give you advice either but I do know we have a loving God. Just lean on Him. Take care.
  • Iamlrm
    Iamlrm linda39526

    Posted

    Linda,  I too can't help other than prayers.  I can sympathize though. 

    I have fibromyalgia for 24 years now.  Arthritis caused a total left hip replacement and all joints are painful.  I was always hurting but thankful that my pain did not include any organs. That changed in April 2012 with kidney cancer surgery.  They removed left kidney and the cancer through the front of belly.  Doctor put his hand in and through to the back where kidney is located.  Blessed again that they got all the cancer out. I needed no chemo or radiation! But........the surgery caused a hernia.  Drs didn't tell me how often this happens nor did they want to admit I had one for a while. My left side grew so big and I was so lopsided I understand your embarrassed feelings.  I kept telling people I felt pregnant on one side!  Because I could feel it move in and out and out some more!  It happened to be 9 months later I had the first mesh hernia laparoscopic surgery with mesh.  Jan 2013.

    I had about three feet of intestines out then they put back in and placed mesh.  Very soon I could tell it was happening again.  Again doctors act as if I am not right but I insisted on CT scan.  They said it was just FAT that I felt going through a hole now and not too dangerous.  Loose weight - right. Like we haven't tried to do that all our life !  I tried. I still hurt so much with everything else.  Had about 3 more tests and gave up, decided to wait for the emergency to happen.  I waited three years until Jan 2016 to go back.

    different surgeon said yes it's big hernia!  Feb had lap surgery again.

    Bigger mesh now about 7" X 7" .  They said last mesh was stuck and not good.  One month I know it has happened again.  Dr says I still have fluid, to come back in two weeks to recheck.  I went back in 4 weeks to give healing more time.  Still a bit of fluid could be causing my pain.  He did ultrasound to see that but thinks it will heal ok.  Not.  On May 23 it will be three months post op so I will have to go to doc again because it is not healed, I read these mesh repairs have lots of problems but Drs act like it is just me!   Arggh!   I was 270 pounds now 245.  Guess what ?  just loose 20 pounds and it will be better.   I do not understand.   I feel for you. Linda. 

    A friend has had 4 four abdominal hernia repair surgeries and he says he is just giving up and not going back either.  That just don't hold.  What's going on?   Why can't they fix us?  Where do we go from here?

        One day at a time Linda.  Hang on.  You are not alone.  God Bless.  

    • linda39526
      linda39526 Iamlrm

      Posted

      I pray for you & Me i look & feel like i am 12 or more months pregnate & have been for more than three yrs. thats how big my hernia is in my stomach & now has turned into two. It has ruined my life. Do you know if any of the intestines can be cut out besides the lower ones like when they do a gastaoll bypass.my hernia is irreversable even losing 20-30 lbs wasn't enough to do a opperation. we need a mirical weight loss program that is free or very Little cost for us poor people that only have medicaid that deny paying for alot of differnt medicine & opperations.I was denied by medicaid for a gastic sleeve which would of help me lose the weight amount that i nrrd in a shorter amount of time then trying to do on my own ,exspecially when i can't walk or exercize in fear of making this hernia even larger. just getting up & down from my couch i can feel my intestines coming out even more. Anyone that has a small hernia above there belly botton but isn't really bothering them yet . Get To a docter & get it taken care of now cause if you don't it will be bad when you get older & can't lose weight has easy like you can when your young. This Hernia has ruined my life & and all i can do is just wait to  die from this huge deformatty in my stomach. I don't know what else i can do & neither does the Dr. Thank you all for the support & the prayers.
  • adele_89294
    adele_89294 linda39526

    Posted

    So sorry to hear of your health problems. You need a great support group around you. With help I believe you can improve your health, I hope.

    Get more opinions if necessary. I nearly died from a twisted bowel last September and during reovery got an inguinal hernia, which was subsequently operated on using mesh which caused me many problems and pain. I just had the mesh removed 5 days ago and am in considerable pain from the recent surgery, but hoping it settles down soon and I will recover and be pain free. My illioinguinal nerve was trapped in the mesh. The hernia was then repaired mesh free using a different technique. Please seek out a second, third or fourth opinion and get support with weight loss and your other health issues and hopefully you can fix the hernia and improve your health. Do you have family and friends to support you?

  • shirley133
    shirley133 linda39526

    Posted

    Dear Linda I too have had a mesh repair and abdominoplasty following 3 c sections and a bowel resectioning.  Hernia and bowel disease are hidden diseases which need a lot more research in to how best to help patients.  I know this is of little help to you, but I also have thyroid disease which causes irregular heart beats and other problems, so my heart goes out to you.  If things go wrong for me I will not allow any more surgery 5 is enough.  Just someone who has a bit of an idea of your suffering.
    • linda39526
      linda39526 shirley133

      Posted

      Thank you shirley i am glad hear im not alone. this hernia has ruined my life & i have little hope for any good news on what can been done. Hope you have some hope God Bless you linda
    • shirley133
      shirley133 linda39526

      Posted

      Thank you Linda I do have hope as my repair has held, but if it comes undo, I will have no hope as I could not face anymore surgery.  Living with this disease is very testing doctors need to come up with better solutions for us, one thing that would help would be better wound closure after surgery so that hernia's in these circumstances do not occur.  This will be for the future, but lets hope that this does happen to avoid suffering for future generations.  God bless you to Linda,  hope you can find some peace.
  • Axie
    Axie linda39526

    Posted

    Linda,

    I am in the same situation. I can't eat anymore. Just drink potein drinks. The hernia is huge. I  look like a beach ball with toothpick arms and legs. I've lost 30 lbs. They told me, also,  that my chance of surviving  surgery  is very poor. I was so looking forward to retiring in the next five years with my (healthy) husband. Now he'll have to find a new wife to enjoy his retirement with. I haven't been out of the house for months. All because of a botched colon resection surgery that wasn't even necessary.

    • stacy33375
      stacy33375 Axie

      Posted

      Oh no. I'm so sorry to hear this. Why did they do this surgery for a hiatal hernia? I've never heard of this surgery for this problem. I will be praying for you.
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