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I think I'm going crazy (if I'm not there already) and I would like some outside input or, at the very least, to share my experience.
After (what I thought was) a particularly bad quarter life crisis, I went to see a psychiatrist last month, was diagnosed with MDD, BPD and orthorexia. I was put on 20mg Fluoxetine and 25mg Seroquel. I just went for my follow up appointment last Thursday and my Fluoxetine dosage was increased to 40mg. This is my first time taking Fluoxetine (4th antidepressant overall) but also I'm back on antidepressants after believing myself yo be 'miraculously healed' and not taking anything for ten years.
How I made it through those ten years is a wonder to me. At this stage in my life I have to face the fact that I really have nothing else in life to try to make me feel better, to hope for and cling to, or to live for. I feel like my mental state has gotten significantly worse over time. As I write this I am still in bed at noon after I woke up two hours before I had to get ready for church and still couldn't be arsed to go. This is a common thing: I don't do anything if I don't have to because I can't find the physical and emotional strength to get out of bed, brush my teeth, comb my hair, find something to wear, actually go out in public, be judged by people, ignore them, make small talk with others I cannot stand...etc. I just don't want to do anything. I'm tired all the time.
I'm hoping the Fluoxetine works. Around week three I had one or two really good days where I didn't hate the moment I realised I was still alive in the morning, then it sort if plateaued so the doc increased my dose to 40mg a day. So I'm back experiencing the tiredness, the nausea and the feverishness until my body gets used to this dosage. My questions are: a) have I finally gone crazy? B) has anyone else come back from a similarly bad mental state? C) How long did it take for you to get the full effect of the Fluoxetine and feel better?
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