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going into 2nd week of citralopram, looking for some advice and positive stories

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caramax
caramax

Hi everyone

Wondering if you can help?

After a suicide attempt in Febuary and to get through severe obbsessive / angry thoughts and depression without meds I finally realised I needed that extra help and took my prescription I was given 5 months ago for 10 mg of citralopram and started them 1 week ago. I felt ok, ever so slightly better and was sleeping bit better than months of insomnia but still constant intrusive thoughts.

When I seen the doc 3 days ago he did a depression test and highly reccomended I go on 20mg as this is theraputic dose for what I have.

Only 3 days on 20 and I can't get to sleep for ages, even though v tired and have a clenched jaw and anxiety till about 3 in afternoon - then ok , but tired and bits of anxiety - very up and down.

It is not severe but I am nervous to leave the house and feel so anxious going on public transport which I will have to do soon. I am ok at the moment as I a took some time off work and been staying indoors and my partner has been v supportive. But I have to go back out into the world on Tuesday and back to work on Thursday and to top that off I have a family visit I can't get out of next wknd.

I am so scared that the anxiety will be overwhelming as apart from going for a local jog with a friend I haven't had much interactions as I feel arkward and anxious with other people and dreadinf work and family visit if I still feel like this.

The doc said he didn't want to give me valium or sleepers as they are addicitive and just to ride the side effects out. He is the most symathetic out of all my docs and not back in till this Friday.

I have no energy for a possible fight with the other GP's (unsympathetic - treat me like crap and little empathy for mental illness) so am thinking of paying throught the nose on internet for some thing / valium to help with side effects.

I took cocodamol last night and that didnt really help. I have bought nurse and will try that tonight if I have more trouble sleeping though I should be wary of too much paracetemol as my suicide attempt was on a lot of paracetomol and I'm worried about my liver. I do have a few di hydrocodine could this help in emergencies?

I've read night times are best to take the dose and things will get better in a few weeks. 

Sorry for such a long post but I was hoping you could give me any advice and if you can answer any of the questions would be useful too.

.Meds and dosage stories - when has it got better?

.Meds / advice to help side effects

.Also anyone had experience of CAT therapy (for BPD) - I am on the a big waiting list but start it in Febuary?

.Most importantly any positive stories or stories at all of your journey - much appreaciatted.

Thank you  

x

 

0 likes, 29 replies

29 Replies

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  • caramax
    caramax

    Posted

    Oh BTW, I take it around 10pm as the 10mg seemed to help sleep at midnight when I go to bed for me then so presumed 20g would be same. I also read that most people find night time better. I am considering taking 6pm, hoping it would be so intense the next day. What works for you? x
  • loxie
    loxie caramax

    Posted

    The sleeplessness can be a problem with cit, sometimes it just eases off on its own and other times it lingers a while and we need extra help with that aspect.  Please don't start taking drugs bought over the internet, number one only your doctor will have up to date info on best dosage and whether its right for you and more importantly a LOT of them are not just fake but contain seriously dangerous illicit substances.  Just dont do it please.  Try melatonin, which you CAN buy on the internet more securedly. I also found that antihistamines like piriton really aid sleep, I take one at night to help stop getting overnight sinus issues and they really zonk me out so I sleep soundly.  A really simple trick is 'belly breathing' - it's a form of meditation but is so easy and slows the body down really effectively so its easier to relax into sleep.  Just breathe normally, don't control your breathing just let it do what it wants to, but concentrate on how your breathing is moving your tummy.  After just say 10 mins, I'm usually nodding right off.
    • caramax
      caramax loxie

      Posted

      Hi Loxie

      Thanks for your reply, I will leave off the internet stuff  - your probably right. Was just feeling a bit desperate and anxious about next week. I will give the body breathing a go for sure, starting tonight. I have some chlorphenamine anti histamines from ages ago which I was going to take but read they can be dangerous reaction with Citralopram I will look at Priton and melatonin. 

      The sleeping is crap but my main worry is going to work, family meeting and public transport. I suppose I just have to hope for the best and get through it. There is little info out there for mixing dihydrocodeine with citralopram but my friend who gave me them said they should help with anxiety but also don't want to turn up to work looking off my head wink.

      Blimey, it's a rollercoaster but I do feel detrmind to stick with citralopram and it will be worth it. I wish GP would just give me small doses of diazapam to help me through first couple weeks. I don't know why they won't, never asked for it before and from the stuff I have read it seems standard. Think they a bit nervous of me being BPD and previous overdose even though I am not suicidal at all now and the valium (in small doses) could really help me get better from what I've read. Hmmm.

      Anyhoo, thanks again for reply and advice Loxie x

    • michael28935
      michael28935 loxie

      Posted

      Hi Loxie. I was on 40mg and went down to 20mg. I felt fine on both until two weeks ago and the depression/anxiety came back so now I am back on 40mg. I get very tired, go to bed and sleep for maybe three hours and that's it. This has been going on for two weeks now.You mentioned that you have used piriton is this safe with citralopram? I think that if I could get a few consecutive nights sleep I might feel a lot better.
    • loxie
      loxie michael28935

      Posted

      Hi Michael, I really feel for you.  Lack of sleep is one enormous barrier to feeling better.  I get very stressed and tearful if I don't sleep enough.  I had no problems with taking piriton and citalopram together as such.  I had a severe allergic reaction to the cit - quite separate to any connection between it and other meds - so I had to stop taking it unfortunately.   Grinding of teeth is also quite common, its hateful isnt it.  Try experimenting with the time of the day you take the cit to see if that makes any difference.  Funnily enough I had less sleep issues if I took it late at night although others find taking it earlier in the day to be better.  One big thing I did find really helpful was to do something physically exerting late in the evening, ie go for a walk, do some energetic housework, or even say 10 mins of some keep fit exercises.  If your brain is tired (particularly due to stress) but your body isn't, it's impossible to wind down and relax.  

      Some people dont sleep well if they eat late, I however am one of those who gets drowsy the minute I eat anything so I scheduled into my routine eating a small wholemeal sandwich as a late supper.  I always put lettuce in it as lettuce contains small amounts of laudanum, which is an opiate and aids sleep.  Wholemeal bread has slow release carbs/sugars so your body doesn't suffer a drop during the night which will often wake you up.  On that point actually, don't eat anything with a high level of refined sugars in the evening, they'll give you a peak of blood sugar and then a crash, really bad news for good sleep.  Unfortunately I had the double blow of the cit affecting my sleep which was already pretty poor as I'm post menopausal and us grumpy old ladies don't have the easiest time with sleep anyhow.  Avoid alcohol at night too, it does sometimes make you 'crash out' but it's a disturbed sleep and leaves you feeling wasted.  

      Bottom line, if I do something to tire me out physically, make me relax and stop fretting and balance my diet during the day, I sleep much better.  

    • michael28935
      michael28935 loxie

      Posted

      Hi Loxie. Thanks a lot for your lenghty reply. I'm teeth grinding whilst I type this. So annoying. I actually got a half decent sleep last night and what a difference it makes. I stopped drinking when I started having depression/anxiety episodes seven years ago. For me they were a bad mix.
  • chris43551
    chris43551 caramax

    Posted

    Hi cariamax, agree with Loxie about internet shopping! Please don't, as your body needs all the help it can get adjusting to this medication, but it's fantastic once you get there so do please persevere.  Break down the issues into small bite size problems and look at each one.  I'm onto week 5 of citalopram ,going on week 6, and feeling so much better I really can't tell you how fab you will feel once this all settles down.  The first couple of weeks were difficult, and do read some of the postings here, it's a very common problem.  Anxiety levels through the roof, sleeplessness, etc etc but it does pass.  I too suffer from jaw clenching and picked up an OTC dental guard from boots. It has helped, though I still do clench on the guard, but I find standard painkillers do deal with the morning tension headaches ok and it is getting easier with each week.

    Good tip from Loxie re anti histamines, it's worth a try and Ive also been listening to some free audio tracks on self therapy .org which have been helping with my anxiety.  Ive found listening to the main lesson track, relaxing in bed actually sends me off to sleep!  Another thing I will just mention is, if you can face telling your nearest and dearest that you've recently started on some new meds and aren't feeling the best and brightest, it may be a welcome help having someone make you a nice cuppa and bring you hot soup and toast in bed!  If you're anything like me, Ive spent so long hiding issues and play acting, taking responsibility for keeping the family happy etc, to finally give up and say Id love to see you but Im a bit under the weather, was a fabulous release.  The same with work.  "Im not feeling my best so please be patient" also, is there a quieter role you could do tucked away for a couple of weeks?   You will feel so much better very soon, for me it was around week 4 / 5, please do hang in in there and not worry too far ahead. Next weekend is ages off! smile 

    PS I take 20mg and it certainly working for me xxx

     

    • michael28935
      michael28935 chris43551

      Posted

      I've been on 40mg for about two weeks now having been on twenty before. Feeling terrible and I've been grinding my teeth and I didn't know why. I didn't associate it with the medication.I've been contantly chewing gum. 
    • caramax
      caramax chris43551

      Posted

      Hi Chris, sorry for late reply, I missed this earlier.

      Thanks for your reply and advice. I think I will buy a guard as am waking up clenching teeth like mad and my jaw is aching throughout the day from it. I do find the relaxing tapes can help sometimes but I have been taking valium and night nurse to help make sure I get off too - got to be careful to get myself a little habbit there.

      I can't really get out of some things I have to do or take more time off so am just taking valium and trying to get the balance of normal and fake it as much as possible (which is hard and makes me anxious).

      Really pleased you are feeling so much better though, great to hear and keeps me hanging in there , knowing it will pass x

       

  • louise1974
    louise1974 caramax

    Posted

    Hi Caramax

    I started Cit in July for severe anxiety and depression.  Really had got to the point of no return.  The first few weeks on any anti depressant is really hard work.  I honestly thought I would never get there at all.  It made my panic/anxiety a lot worse, My days were spent walking outside tryihng to chill out.  The insominia on this med I really struggled with for a couple of months.  In fact my GP really wanted to swap me to another med but I stuck it out and the sleep did improve yay.  The only side effect I get from Cit is really vivid dreams but I don't mind this, they aren't nightmares just bizzare and very real.  Hang in there, you'll get there.

    • caramax
      caramax louise1974

      Posted

      Thanks for reply louise1974 x 

      It's great your sleeping better now - does your anxiety and depression feel a lot better  / do you feel happy? I I know it's diifferent for everyone. I heard people say they feel like there old selves again or better and I am hanging on tho this a little bit but at the same time don't want to have unrealistic expectations.

      xx

      Yes just hoping I can get through first weeks, I am making myself

    • louise1974
      louise1974 caramax

      Posted

      Hi. Sorry just seen this. Yes I do feel alot better re anxiety and depression. Its been a real slow process and I still dont feel 100% with anxiety but compared to how I was feeling it doesnt compare. I had got to the point I felt my life was over and I just didnt want to be here. After a few weeks my husvand pointed out I was smiling again even though I still felt quite anxious. Slowly I was able to start seeing friends again. Now I can make plans and go out without stressing too much. I still get days where I feel anxious but its not as severe and it doesnt last. More importantly for me I feel contentment alot which is something I thought was lost forever. I really was in a black hole months ago. I was so scared half the time and the other half I was just so numb and depressed that I couldnt identify with anyone around me. I felt guilty I was ruining everyone elses life along with my own. Please stick with it, you will get there x
    • loxie
      loxie caramax

      Posted

      Hi Caramax, I so agree with Louise - it honestly will get better.  You're right when you say not to have unrealistic expectations.  Taking SSRIs wont make life perfect, life just isnt perfect is it?  It will make it much easier to deal with and as Louise has said, you'll find you actually have contentment back in your life.  I was the same as others, I hated everything and everyone in my life, nothing worked, nothing cheered me up and everything seemed just a total waste of time as my life was crap and I felt like it always would be no matter how hard I tried.  Chris has hit the nail on the head, we try to cover it up and focus on others needs when we're the one who needs help.  I'm the type who naturally hides away when I'm sick or stressed, my partner says I'm like an elephant, as they go to secret locations when they know theyre about to die. ( Hope he meant it that way and that I'm not just a big fat creature with a loud trumpet smile ).  I really didnt notice the changes in me at first but then one day I found myself sitting on my sofa with a coffee in one hand and a book in the other and realised I was smiling and relaxed - something I hadnt felt in many many years.  Not a big deal for most but an enormous mountain climbed for me.  Stick with it, you'll look back and find it hard to remember the bad times hopefully.
    • caramax
      caramax loxie

      Posted

      Thank you so much for your reply Loxie. I will keep re reading these boards for all the lovely support I have had. It really means a lot to know you can understand what it's like and also feeling better is possible. I've had a tough couple of days and like you just want to hide away but know if I don't do stuff I will be more miserable but if I get overwhelmed with stress and the things I have to do that is not good either.

      Your partner sounds good smile 

      I have a supportive one too but worry my misery and constant need for cuddles will have him running out the door.

      Think am just having a bad couple of days and anxious, sad and angry about everything ha ha. I'm coming up to end of 2nd week - so hopefully gets better soon.

      Also I always get a bit funny around mid cycle n with PMT so that not helping.

      Thanks again for letting me ramble and your advice. Wishing you all the best xx

    • loxie
      loxie caramax

      Posted

      Aww caramax, hope you get through this 'dip' soon.  It's the ups and downs that really get to us isnt it.  Why one minute everything seems to be running smoothly and then the next its a car crash.  I admit to letting all the little annoyances built up and become one massive insurmountable black pit.  I recently had stress from a carpet supplier and it took many visits and calls to get dealt with, then I got a parking ticket whilst parked on the retail site waiting for the carpet person to become free, then a warning light came on in my car and I started to fret about the cost of repairs, and so it went on, little by little everyday just threw something else at me and I too got sad and angry at the unfairness and hard work of it all.  Couple of days later and I found the perfect lampshade I needed for my living room, very cheap too, when I wasn't actually looking - euphoria.  This manic behaviour has me gripped sometimes, I read on another post someone said they had 'mental health envy' - people who calmly deal with everyday stuff and smile about it, I do sometimes admit to hating smiley people smile
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