Posted , 8 users are following.
Does anyone else feel like they are going mad?since just before xmas ive got worse and worse.ive got this rage inside me,constant crying feeling so sad.not coping well at all,my personality has changed im less tolerant and have no filter.please tell me im not the only one!i really have had enough of it all cant stress it enough to my doctor but feel like im on my own.
2 likes, 8 replies
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donna56953 Polska
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I feel like a freak. I compare myself with other women who can eat, drink, smoke and have the zip of their coat up to their noses, even my mother blames me for the symptoms. I have a devastating acid reflux, nausea and asthma symptoms. I can't swallow food, I drink blended food. No alcohol, no parties with friends. I've been sleeping in sitting position since last year, so back pain. Now my body cant take it any more and most nights I'm awake until alarm goes off. I can't do chores. I hate my husband
bev27429 Polska
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You are definitely not alone! I have been so angry, at times, that I just didn't know what to do with myself. I would go down to the beach at night and just scream and cry at the top of my lungs! It was beyond horrible. I have had so many physical and mental symptoms, but it's the mental symptoms that have been the hardest by far. My main symptoms have been: depression, crying, extreme rage, hopelessness, and irritability. I am closing in on menopause now, and my symptoms are so much milder now. I'm finally getting to the end of this awful phase of my life.
It will get better. I promise! Please reach out at any time. I will always respond. Feel free to private message me, if you want:)
Big hugs xo
trinity03 Polska
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You are NOT alone. This is something I struggled with big time when I first started going through perimenopause 6 years ago. I'd be triggered into rage or panic by the smallest things. I'd have to use every ounce of energy to hold it together. Like you said, I felt like I was going mad. I had a good reprieve for a while, but now the emotional instability symptoms are coming back. It's a constant battle to not lose it every day. I have breathing exercises I do, prayers I say, and ways to distract myself too. I'm so sorry you're going through this. It feels debilitating at times. I hope you find relief soon.
vivian72668 Polska
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Hello There, Polska...
I am in the final stage of this RELENTLESS TSUNAMI, which is deemed POST-MENOPAUSE, and it has been HELL ON EARTH, as described by one of the posters on this site!! That said, what you're experiencing is VERY normal throughout the menopausal journeys. YOU ARE NOT ON THIS JOURNEY BY YOURSELF, MY SISTAH!! You have joined the club, a club... I wish I weren't a part of! I have experienced everything you stated and then some! Menopause has its RANGES of rage, psychotic episodes, bouts of crying, physical pain, uncertainties, fear, emotional pain, lashing out at others, negative thoughts, ruminating thoughts, etc.. Bev said her mental symptoms have been by far thee worst, I concur with her statement, immensely! These are the symptoms that are taboo! I know exactly what she's talking about, because my mental symptoms have been soooo... SEVERE and psychotic, I wanted to lock myself up in a dark, clean closet for weeks at a time! There have been COUNTLESS days, I, too, felt as if I was going MADDDD!! There were days, I was contemplating calling an insane asylum to send their people to my humble abode to pick me up asap!! I was soooo... out of sorts, I couldn't function! Countless women have thee EXACT same story, yet on the flip side, there are SOME women who have no symptoms at all, and there are SOME women who have mild, unnoticeable symptoms! These are the women who BREEZE right through the meno trios, unscathed! Kudos to them, I say! Then there are women like you, I, and others who get the BRUNT end of the stick!! MENOPAUSE doesn't go away quietly; it DRAGS MANY of us through the mud! Here's the thing, menopause is a natural part of our lives, so we must go through it! I'd be remiss if I didn't state this: The GOOD, SANE days come in waves, so when these days come, my friend, RIDE the waves, have fun, take advantage of these days, and let your hair down, if you will; simply because the BADDD days are lurking right around the corner, and ready to loose its havoc on us womenfolk! Polska, the best advice I can give you is to be VERY kind to yourself, and drink plenty of water! On that note, be well, my menopausal sister!
Finkyb Polska
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I too feel like I'm losing the plot. I have suffered with premenstrual syndrome for many years but over the last 18 months it has been a whole new ball game! It comes and goes but my goodness it is hard. It feels like someone else has entered my head and I've lost control of my thoughts and emotions at times! I can be irritable over the smallest things and take it out on those closet to me, I can burst into tears for no reason at all, have intrusive thoughts, get anxious (particularly health anxiety), have occassional nightmares and feel low in mood. I know it's hormones and can rationalise that they aren't my true thoughts and feelings but it doesn't make it any easier to live with. It makes me feel guilty and ashamed in some ways because of the thoughts I have. I feel for anyone who is struggling with this because it is so draining and tiring. I am very honest with those around me and they are very supportive which helps.
trinity03 Finkyb
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Finkyb,
I love that you mentioned that you're honest with those around you about it, because that is very important. So much of this isn't acknowledged or understood in society. The most we seem to hear about is hot flashes, mood swings and missed periods. Those things are just the tip of the iceberg. I have a teenage daughter and I talk to her about this so that if/when she goes through it as intensely as I am, she'll realize what's going on and be able to manage it better than me. I was raised by my dad so I had NO CLUE about any of this until I was IN it. I thought it didn't start until your 60s or 70s and didn't realize it commonly starts in your early 40s.
Finkyb trinity03
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Thank you Trinity,
you are completely right, there certainly isn't enough awareness about how awful it can be. Dealing with the physical symptoms is bad enough but trying to do it when you feel mentally drained is horrific. I think it's great you are being open with your daughter and you will be of great support to her if she does indeed suffer like so many of us are. I hope she doesn't!
I am also on the young side too. That in itself has been challenging in gaining help or support. I'm largely fumbling through on my own. Many times I've questioned myself and wonder if perhaps I have something awful going on but I have had many tests that have all come back clear, thankfully.
Being open has helped massively, I have great support from family and my dear husband tries his best to understand, even when I'm not being all that nice to him. These forums are great and I'm thankful for all the wonderful ladies who reach out. We will get there, let's just hope it's soon 🙏
aliseanya Polska
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You know what i love about Peri? I love my rage. I love my anger. I embrace it, celebrate it & just enjoy every single minute when I am going through it.
I have always been known to be so sweet. I was so sweet I was one big pushover. I let myself be abused. Some of the worst kinds of abuse that us women can suffer.
I am also extremely patient. It's my superpower. I knew I was going through something when I started losing my patience. That did frighten me. When I hit that rage and started telling people off. That was a shocker to so many because they realized I saw them for who they were for years and never said a word. I got them out of my life. I didn't have patience for them either. It was so freeing.
If I do have them in my life because we all have those relationships we can't get out of- parents, children, siblings, etc.... I say it how it is.
I like being alone. It is freeing to me. It is my time. My husband loves this side of me. He is always telling me they deserved it. How proud he is of me for going after them.
I know he didn't like it when I went after him, lol. He listened and understood.
I don't like my depression or anxiety. The further I get into Peri it is easing. That gives me comfort.
I do admit I was scared I was changing. That my empathy was gone. Somebody told me I was the sweetest person in the world recently. That meant the world to me. It also showed me I was not changing. I was growing. If I could just give one hope is that no matter how hard this is just try to keep thinking we are growing to something better and stronger.
I am having a super bad week with peri. I want to be twenty-one again. 😃 I want to be twenty-one again with my fifty-one year old self that stands up to people and snaps toxic people out of my life without a thought or care.