Gone worse!!!

Have you spoken to your doctor or a friend for advice.

Because you are trying to justify his actions by assuming that you must have done something wrong.

Dump both of them. Sounds like neither deserve you.

Don't think like that. Be happy with who you are. At the end of day there is no point being with that person if they make you feel so low.

To be honest sounds like the guy is a idiot and your better off looking elsewhere but it is easier said than done.

HE slept with YOUR best friend!!!

There is NO justification for this in my opinion! Someone who can hurt u like that and show no remorse is just nastY and totally disrespectful!!

Please dont feel guilty over this.. this is wat hes trying to do, make it like its ur fault so that u will forgive him for his sordid mistake!! If he makes u feel guilty then he doesn't have to. .

Please let him go for ur own sanity as ur sayin ur arguing with him, this will only continue until he gets sick of it and eventually leaves u, if hes showing no empathy just now then be weary of any empathy he shows u in future (this will just be more fake promises).. if he leaves u then u will be the one pinning after him! And thats worsse!

Hes guilty, not you!

Let him pine after you! Dont contact him again, let him do the chasing, if he loves u and genuinely feels terrible then he will show u this.. It's part of his game.. hes keeping u at a distance so u will eventually give in and forget it!

Could u ever really forgive and forget this? Is ur relationship not ruined from here on anyway?

You deserve someone who would never betray you, somone who wont make u upset like this.. I learned the hard way love.. get out now xxx

P.s look up narcissistic behaviour n see if any of it applies to yoo! My ex was a piece of work and reading this stuff is opening my eyes big time xx

Hope ur okay! Xx

P.s u have the upper hand just now.. dont let him take it back!!!

Steph, I don't know how old you are but I'm guessing quite a number of years younger than me (i'm 40). This will sound harsh, and I don't have any right to say this to you...but my advice would be to cut your losses and run, before it's too late. Don't let this guy ruin the rest of your life. You still have a chance to break free and make a good life for yourself.

I was with me ex for 20 years, and he wore me down till I was a broken woman. I found out he was carrying on with other women on nights out, right at the start of our relationship, and we argued (and I cried) alot but I got all the 'smooth' talk. And I fell for it. But then it started to mess with my mind as he had a way of twisting things to make me feel like it was my fault. I went through all the exact same questions about myself that you are asking yourself now. And it only got worse as the years went by. It got to the point where he didn't even try to hide things from me anymore and it got all sick and twisted. I was a complete insane wreck by this point, had lost all sense of myself and my self-esteem was rock bottom.

The thing is, I was convinced I loved him. And maybe I really did right at the start. But as the years went by he had me so confused between his lies and his professions of love towards me. I was blind to how he really was. Completely blind. I kept hoping he would change and that we would be 'ok'. But it never happend. I'm so sorry to say that the old cliche that a 'leopard doesn't change it's spots' is very much true I believe.

I know people can have an indescretion and be entirely remorseful. And some couples can work through this. But I hate to say this to you, as I know how much pain you must be in right now, but to cheat on you with your best friend and then to make YOU feel bad about it. NO NO NO!! Steph, listen to your family. Let them support you through this. Cry, be upset, but move on with your life. You are better than this...better than him. You deserve to be happy.

As for me, I TRULY felt that no-one else would ever have feelings for me. He had beaten me down so much. I was wrong. I did meet someone. It's going very slowly for a variety of reasons, and that is perfectly fine by me, however we are excellent friends, and he is the most perfect person for me that I could ever have hoped to meet. And that would never have happened if I had still been with my lying, cheating, manipulating ex.

I know you love him. And perhaps he really does love you, but if he has no respect for you (his fault...not yours!) then that love just isn't going to be enough. I'm sorry if I have made you feel worse, but I would absolutely hate for you to go through everything I did.

I send you the very best of wishes. xxx