Good alternative for Pristiq

My story:

I have struggled with depression since I was in my teens.  I can look back now and see clearly how it effected me.  Growing up in the 80’s as a teen I didn’t have the words for it, I just knew that most mornings I would cry for no reason.  When I was 15 I recall telling my mother I felt as though I wanted to kill my self.  Her response was to tell me “well I can throw you out this 2nd story window and see how you like it” and “ killing yourself is a sin”.  I never again told her that but it didn’t mean I didn’t consider it many many times.  

As an adult my first marriage was abusive, in my early 20’s I lost my older sister to a blood clot to her lungs,  there were many family issues that I struggled with.  I finally was able to get out of the abusive marriage in 2000, then in 2003 I attempted suicide.  I had been in and off several medications over the years all with different side effects.  Eating to little, too much, no sex drive or no ability to have an orgasam.  Finally in 2013 a doctor prescribed Pristiq to me and it worked within 48 hours.  The medication was amazing, since that point I have had very few truly dark days.  I have been able to handle the death of a nephew, the attempted suicide of my oldest son, and normal life ups and downs.  I still struggle with days of some depression but with this medication I can always see light at the end of the tunnel.  Pristiq is a great medication, my current insurance just does not cover it, thus the reason for the inquiry of a good alternative I don’t wish to go back to that shell of the person I was before I found it.  I hope all of this makes sense.