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Good morning? Bad morning :(

Posted , 5 users are following.

ThisIsLife
ThisIsLife

Hi everybody, 

I signed up a few days ago, been reading mainly havnt posted until now. Suffering from mainly depression but also anxiety symptoms. On day 9 of cit, 10mg which I take around 8/9pm every night.

I would say I'm at 6 today out of 10, which is not too bad as yesterday morning I was -500.

I find myself on a crazy roller coaster I think I experience more than 100 different thoughts n emotions daily atm and I must say I feel like it's increased since being on cit (I know I'm still early days). Yesterday was such a low, my worst day by far and I'm actually scared to experience that again it was the darkest day ever. I find myself usually having a slight high at around 7/8 b4 I take my

Pill which usually then kicks in and makes me feel quite 'spacey'. Yesterday I found I didn't crack a smile until 11pm I think where I was so low it took longer for my mood to lift.

I'd really like to meet some friends on here that are also early on on their meds/feeling how I am so we can hopefully complete this long hard, sometimes very dark journey together smile

Good morning everybody, how are we all today??

Xx

4 likes, 12 replies

12 Replies

  • zoe49408
    zoe49408 ThisIsLife

    Posted

    Hello 

    I am like you I have mainly been reading to get support . I am on day 6 of cit 20mg. Lots of side effects like sickness, spaced out , high anxiety paronia , shakes , low appetite.  To name a few. I feel I need to persevere with this as I need to know if it will bring some sort of normality  back to my very anxious life. Been off work since I started them which is added pressure as I work full time . Feel guilty what ever way I turn . I hope we are  both coming to the end of the worse side effects as I hear they should ease of about 14 days , lets keep our fingers crossed . Good luck and keep me updated on your progress x 

    • ThisIsLife
      ThisIsLife zoe49408

      Posted

      Hi Zoe, I've also been off work sad it's a family business too and can't say my family have been that supportive with my time off although depression/anxiety runs in my family so they have first hand idea of how bad it can be. I guess when people are 'well' they can forget how it once made them feel.

      I've also got 2 lovely kids 11 and 5, one of the only things have kept me going recently tbh. I thought I was doing not too bad (albeit not great) until yesterday when I def had the lowest day to date wouldn't wish it upon anybody it was such a struggle.

      I'll def be keeping in touch hopefully on a daily basis, I think supporting each other (we are not alone) is really important right now - it's hard for people to understand when they are not experiencing what we are xx

    • zoe49408
      zoe49408 ThisIsLife

      Posted

      Hello x sorry your family havent been supportive. But yes I think you are right that these low times are easily forgotten once on the mend. Yes I actually went out with my daughter yesterday to walk the dog very anxious experience but will very proud of my self lol . find I just sit in front of tv most of the morning then feel I have some energy after lunch and then start to communicate with the world lol. I try and look on here daily so reply whenever you need a chat . Hope todays a better day x 
    • ThisIsLife
      ThisIsLife zoe49408

      Posted

      I'm feeling 150% better than I did yesterday already, I actually want to open my blinds for the first time in nearly 2 weeks.

      From waking up super super low yesterday to almost somewhat 'normal' today although so far away from my best. 

      I wonder if anybody else has had such a low dip to somewhat of a 'high' overnight in the first 10 days of taking cit. Feeling a little bit out of control atm, slightly anxious what mood I'll be in tomo/next day and whether I'll be able to deal with a great deal of lows.

      I'm exactly the same. Mornings are the worse I feel lifeless to say the least, I prob start to talk around 3-4 mostly by force cz the kids come home from sch. (Not a bad thing) 

      Hope u have a good day today, hopefully another walk for u. Weather is beautiful feel like I've missed so much of summer xx

    • zoe49408
      zoe49408 ThisIsLife

      Posted

      Wow you have had a good day x me too still feel rubbish in the morning but it eased about ten but left with with a headache most of the day. I didntt sleep much last night which is very unlike me so perhaps thats way. Dr has signed me off work for a week so I can now concentrate on recover for a few days . Hope tomorrow is good for you also x take care x 
    • ThisIsLife
      ThisIsLife zoe49408

      Posted

      Hey Zoe, 

      Not bad at all, I actually did my hair n put on a maxi dress today. Sounds so minor I know but been in a robe all week so def a better day today ESP compared to yesterday. Anxious as to what tomorrow holds my emotions change throughout the day and also quite drastically overnight. Trying to remain positive though. Been signed off of work for 2 weeks I'm supposed to go bk on Monday so I'm praying by then my emotions have settled somewhat otherwise I'm going to be a shaking crying mess altnough- no years today (yet) :D 

      Lovely hearing from you xx

    • alex86971
      alex86971 ThisIsLife

      Posted

      I am with you on the hair/dress thing. It's the small victories that you need to focus on. It's amazing what you take for granted before you start suffering from anxiety/depression.

      I'm off work for a while, lucky in that I was always due to start working with my partner in September so just finished my last job a little earlier than planned. There's no way I can commute into London at the moment, it was bad enough before all this came along!

      Hope everyone's having an ok evening, tomorrow's one step closer to good health x

  • elizabeth00077
    elizabeth00077 ThisIsLife

    Posted

    Hello to you bit hand welcome!

    This forum is full of amazing and supportive people that have got me through the darkest if days! 

    I'm Liz, I've been on 20mg of cit for just over 8 weeks for anxiety & mild depression. Wow, what a journey so far!! 

    I can't lie to you it's been a roller coaster and I'm sure it's not finished yet, although I'm starting to feel better in myself. 

    I have spent the last few months with my mood and anxiety up down considerably. Dark thoughts, all the side effects, sickness, shaking, crying, the works!! It was only up until a week ago I started to feel more confident that it was working. Once I got my head round the fact that it's not the cit making me I'll it was my anxiety. 

    My best and honest advice is to you is keep busy, get into a routine and whatever you do don't beat yourself up!! I had to tell myself that in bad days over & over. Get the support you need from wherever you can find it. Everyone on here is great. 

    Have a lovely day

    Liz xx

    • zoe49408
      zoe49408 elizabeth00077

      Posted

      8 weeks x well done you . I am only on 6 days lol . Its horrible but I need to carry on to see if it will work. 

      Take care and it was good to read your comments . Yes I need to stop waiting around and get busy. Will clear the summer house out tomorrow that will keep me occupied lol

      have a great eve x

  • alex86971
    alex86971 ThisIsLife

    Posted

    Hi all,

    On day 6 of 10mg myself and have definitely felt better! I think we're all in the same boat in terms of feeling awful in the mornings for some reason. I just wake up and it hits me straight away.

    I know what you mean about the weather need2feelalive - it's a beautiful day today but I can't seem to enjoy it as too wrapped up in what's going on with me and my head!

    Hope we can all help each other through in the coming weeks - having read a few of these forums there are plenty who have been before and come out the other side in one piece.

  • loxie
    loxie ThisIsLife

    Posted

    Whilst I wouldnt wish these bad feelings on anybody not even my worst enemy, it's actually comforting to understand I'm not alone and others have the same and even more issues.  Somehow knowing that others are going through identical symptoms reassures me I'm not going insane on my ownsome.  Citalopram really made me feel so ill I couldn't deal with daily life so I stopped it but I do know friends who have had great success on this and fluoxetine so it varies from person to person.  I'm going to look at other ways of dealing with my ups and downs, maybe meditation or research the way in which diet affects mood etc., as I personally cannot go back on SSRI's unfortunately.  For those just starting on them, do give them a chance to settle, I hear that with most people the side effects ease off after a while and hopefully 'normality' returns.  Good luck everyone, I hope all of you feel much better soon. xx
  • ThisIsLife
    ThisIsLife

    Posted

    Hi everybody thanks for all the lovely replies, let's keep each other going. 

    Fell bk asleep, woke up with slight shakes n feeling pretty cranky. Ugh wish I hadn't fallen bk

    Asleep now my mood earlier was so much lighter sad

    Happy to know u all behind me as I am you. One step closer to enjoying a happy carefree life! Yayyy xx

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