Grrrrr! Perimenopause and doubt

Thank you for the tips....I feel a bit bette, but the thought of some things coming back really make me frazzled. I guess I need to not worry so much about what might happen and enjoy the good days. Hope your day is going well

Becky, I struggle with this, too.  I'm always afraid of getting another illness or having something bad happen (there again, my anxiety is talking!) because so much has gone wrong in that area for me this year.  I'm glad we can come here to help each other - would go nuts without this forum!

I agree it's such a relief to come on here. In a funny way I look forward to the messages during the day. Gone were the days of going out clubbing and socialising,lol xxx

Same here!  LOL  Everyone here is so kind and helpful, and there really isn't anywhere else I can go where this many people (or any people, in some cases) can relate!

Thank you Elizabeth....what I get fearful of is feelings of not wanting to continue on or intrusive thoughts I hate even writing this. They scare me!

Yes me too. I'm trying to learn how to have self compassion and do self care. I hadn't realized how hard I am on myself. A friend said to me over a decade ago that I was so hard on myself and I had no clue then what she meant or even what it meant. I try to repeat affirmations that's helping some to redirect my thinking to be more self nurturing. But it's a tough thing to retire a lifetimes worth of habits.

I meant to say "rewire a lifetimes worth of habits". But I guess retire works too. ??

I'm finding the same problem xx

It is very hard.  Various people have tried to help me, too, but I know it's up to me to take care of myself.  As a friend in another forum said this week, I'm the only person I'll live with for my whole life.  Being gentler to ourselves would make life more enjoyable.

I wish that I could knit Your right a good movie and some yarn is a great combo. Thanks again for responding

Ditto ladies! I like to put a pot of proper coffee on after getting up & kind of look forward to reading the messages & chatting with the ladies in our group! Also gone are the days of socialising & clubbing!!! lol!! I find comfort in being quiet at home & using this forum. Ladies on here really are open & understanding, caring, & uplifting. xxx

Hi Sis, what you're trying to do with rewiring a lifetimes worth of habits & redirecting your thinking is a cbt technique which takes discipline & practise, but is a very positive method long term of trying to put to bed anxiety & be a calmer person that is kinder to one's self. So well done! Keep at it Sis! xxx

Becky, I cut the big crossword out of our local paper every week & keep them in a folder. When I need to take my mind of things & aren't pottering about the house or don't feel like watching tv or a film, I get my crossword folder & dictionary out & it sounds sad, but I can get really absorbed in a crossword! It can really take your mind of other things & is quite relaxing. As I said earlier, gone are the days of socialising & clubbing; I even a enjoy a milky drink before bedtime these days!!! xxx

That's a great idea!  

Wow I love that idea Im going to try the crossword idea and the milk. Thank you! Have a wonderful day

my milky drink is half a mug of milk heated in microwave & then top up with hot water, & a spoonful of decaff coffee in. lovely milky drink before bedtime................ahhhhhhhh xx

Thanks Sis. Like you I'm reading this as I am making my Typhoo morning cup of tea and getting in 30 minutes of direct morning sunshine ( recommended for depression). CBT sure does take all I've got. I've got brown eyes and it feels like I'm trying to change it to blue! Hopefully it will get more second nature with practice. Your posts on your cbt experience is inspiring. So please keep posting!

I will Sis. Glad it inspires you. I am not a person that is easily "taken in" by things like hypnosis (tried it for giving up smoking, but it only relaxed me, didn't work), but the cbt was genuinely life changing if you allow yourself to be open with the practitioner, & then really make an effort to practise their recommended techniques in changing your thought processes & reactions/behaviour to them - you practise it in your own real life, not imaginary scenarios. so it's no alternative health gobbledegook or deep breathing & every problem solved, its real life-your life its applied to. I am so pleased several other ladies on here are trying it/looking into it, if it helps them as it helped me it would be fantastic. It doesn't solve problems, but enables you to deal with them more effectively without getting consumed with anxiety. I have it all on my plate right now with ongoing illness & being virtually housebound, worry about losing my job & the financial & social implications that go with that possibility, but the previous cbt & being on hrt, is helping me to deal with it all rationally, methodically, & importantly one step at a time with what's immediately facing me. big hugs to you Sis.xxx

Thanks Sis. I haven't had cbt sessions so I'm very interested but I've got a book on it called Feeling Good by David Burns. Great book by the way. And have been noticing all my distorted thought patterns like catastrophizing, minimizing the positives, emotional reasoning, mind reading, etc.

I'd like to find a cbt therapist and really work on this once things settle down a bit more.

You said you went for several months. Was that enough time to turns things around?

Hugs

Yes, they were fortnightly appointments, & they left the door open to me if I needed anymore help. I think it was about 5mths i did it for, & between me & the psychologist we gained so much improvement/retraining of thought processes/eliminating bad thought processess we had come to the end of the cbt really. xxx