Guilty

Posted , 10 users are following.

I had a total hysterectomy everything out and I'm not recovering very well very tired and emotional I do little things around the house, cook,wash up,sweep using brush, but sometimes my family think I am playing it up and make me feel guilty. I used to nearly everything for everyone and all the house work and go to work how do I deal with the guilt and them there all old enough to fend for themselves my husband is the worst it opened my eyes to what I was doing and what everyone else was I don't think I could go back to before the surgery has this happened to anyone else

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14 Replies

  • Posted

    I'm sure you're not the only wife and mother who has experienced this.  You have had major surgery and are needing love, support and help from your family. But, basically, they want you to resume your duties as their servant as soon as you are able, sooner, if possible.  It's time for a change; and you have no reason to feel guilty.  xxxx

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  • Posted

    You just had surgery shame on them, do not feel guilty you are recovering and you need all the rest and help you can get. Please don’t feel bad they should be helping you out not shaming you for having major surgery. Stay positive and rest! 
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  • Posted

    Hello MJ

    I'm sorry to hear of your family issues impacting on your recovery.  You have had major surgery and your body needs time to heal.  Rest, rest, rest.  Avoid lifting, bending or stretching.  Even if you begin to feel as if you could be doing things it is important to recognise that there is much healing going on inside. 

    Call a family conference and explain to your family that you need their support and let them know how you need tie to heal.  If necessary, get the support of your family practice nurse to talk with your husband.  

    Relationships nowadays have to be on equal terms for them to work and it is unfair for one partner to be expected to carry the major share of household tasks and especially at a time when you've had surgery and need time to heal.  Your emotions are also likely to be fragmented with the hormonal changes.  Aim to pamper yourself and get family on board to assist.  You may be amazed at their understanding if you begin to share what's going on for you and what you need.  All the best, Lyn

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  • Posted

    Hi hun

    I am 14 wks tvh and anterior and there is no way I will allow my husband or grown up kids to tell me when I'm ready to be back to normal.

    Only you know how you feel and most of all your body has been through the mill and back. Tell you husband and kids if they want a healthy happy mum and wife to support you back to full strength by being kind and helpful. Feeling sad will only put you back. Lots of hugsxx

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    • Posted

      Hi thank you I'm taken things easy I've had surgery before and over did it and got bad this time I'm trying to ignore them and just get better.I was hesistant to have the surgery because was worried because of the family but I just couldn't stop bleeding and was in pain thank to everyone who replies it helps so much

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  • Posted

    Hi manjit 56656.

    I totally get it! I’m (7) weeks post op. 

    It was only (5) days after, that I had begun to resume my daily household responsibilities.  Please take it from me, do not continue. Get yourself back in bed! You’ll only run the risk of developing post op complications. You also setback your recovery!!! I was having a follow up post op before the end of the 1st. week after surgery. My doctor was royally upset with me and demanded my staying in bed! My family was finally put on notice BY ME!!! 

    Please take care of yourself! If you don’t, you won’t be able to take care of anyone else! I truly understand your feelings of guilt, but you’re more important!!!

    Feel better!!!!🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

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  • Posted

    I get where your coming from , I'm 5 days post op and my husband is running around doing everything for me and I feel guilty but know its the right thing to do for me to get back to 100%. Its a real shame your family arn't more supportive . They need to read up on hysterectomy recovery and realise its a major op with lots of healing going on inside your body . Also you should mention that the work place don't give you 6 weeks off without question for nothing . keep strong hun . xx

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  • Posted

    I had my tvh in January and I did nothing but gentle walks for 6 weeks.. Just had complete rest. It's not a choice it's a must.. If you start doing things at such an early time you will almost definitely cause some damage to your healing tissues.. Everything is so weak and fragile it needs resting..

    Definitely take off at least 12 wks if you have a physical job without question hun.xx

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  • Posted

    Hi manjit don't feel guilty I had a total hystermony 10 weeks ago and I don't feel that great, I know wen I have over done things, i also feel very tired quickly I've been told it takes 6 months to a yr before you start to be normal ago, it's a major operation chin up babe wil get there x

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    • Posted

      Thanks I knew when I'm overdone it as well and I do get very tired I think because you are up and about a lot they think you are better I've tried to explain that my inside could take 6 to 12 months and that I still have pain and get tired quickly it's hard work .

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