Had a slip 100 days into sobriety

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does anyone have any experience with slips in early recovery? had some wine tonight. the relapse has been building up for a while. just personal issues at home and everything. I just started slacking on my recovery.

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  • Posted

    Hi Vicky,

    How do you feel about drinking the wine?

    Did it help and do you think it is just a slip up or can you see a relapse looming?

    Sorry for the short reply but am off to bed now so catch up in the morning.

    All the best

    Claire xx

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  • Posted

    Hi Vicky. My name is Naomi, I had 23 years sober and had a full on relapse. I'm glad you called it a relapse and not a slip. You're being honest , good start. When things ' build up ', we are already in relapse mode. We can't afford to allow things to build up. Not only does it lead to relapse, it makes us feel miserable and what's the point of recovering if we are unhappy? Did we not clean up so we could feel better?

    We always being told we have to be responsible, so I break that up to help it make sense. 'RESPONSE ABLE' when responses are in order. Just hear that again, RESPONSE ABLE, for example;

    Being able and feeling empowered to say no when asked to do something that will effect your well being or could end up with you carrying (picture a huge sack, filled rocks of fear and shame all bound up with barbed wire!) a resentment. A TRAP!

    Many times I've relapsed because I've become detached from my spiritual and emotional self and my higher power. After that I am no longer emotionally sober. That means that my responses may well be those that lead me to misery, unwise and not balanced responses . This leads to vulnerability (angry lonely tired and often hungry). Thats the door to relapse.

    To avoid relapse you have to figure out YOUR relapse buttons your CAUSES, and change your responses when they inevitably get pushed. ONE response that could definitely do with changing is, instead of suffering stress of any kind on your own (CAUSE), share (RESPONSE) about those stresses so they don't build up, and use a program. FIND people that can listen. I hope this makes some sense. GOOD LUCK Naomi. Dorset

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    • Posted

      What an amazing reply Naomi! I have been here doing replies for 6 1/2 years since i am now 7 1/2 sober. Not 23 years sober like you were which is alot! I always think of drinking again as taking poison. Wait and listen..in my mind it is like i am literally going to die IF i have one drink. I also relapsed but that was 9 years ago and i had been sober for 4 or 5 months and started by one only drink since i thought i could control it but i could not.stopped again and it worked. My twin girls were 16 months old and i was the house dad and had too much to live for. One more day sober means a longer and healthier life and see them grow up. They are now 9 since last month..Vicky: do not think about it too much and move on. Congratulate yourself for your soberness before you relapsed. You have achieved so much you can do it! Robin, Dorset. Either of you can message me if you feel like it. I like to help people.

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    • Posted

      hiya robin

      I think there is only you and I left on the forum as we knew it.

      OMG, your twins are 9! Where has that time gone. You are an insperation on here, always checking up and caring about people.

      Well my youngest grandson starts school next year. Its been a joy having and looking after him. Considering (quite rightly) my son wouldnt leave him on his own with me, he now trusts me with him 3 full days a week. Like you say, too much to lose, although i still drink socially.

      My daughter is having a baby at christmas, and asked me if i will have baby 2 days a week

      take care x

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    • Posted

      Hello again Robin. Good to see that you are now 7 1/2 years sober and continuing to help people. I'm still resisting the urge to have 'just one small drink' and it is now 12 years 7 months and 2 days since my last drink. BUT, I am still tempted, in fact my wife and a friend were sharing a bottle of red wine last week and I had a long sniff of the bottle. It brought back lots of memories. But I said no as I didn't want to undo all my good work. A close call though. I can't really advise you Vicky, except don't be too hard on yourself. You have shown that you can resist and no doubt will do it again.

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  • Posted

    hi vicky

    From my experience, the number of people whove not relapsed are few and far between.

    Please dont beat yourself up about this. Yes you will feel annoyed with yourself, but so what? Put that to one side and concentrate on your 100 days.

    I was sober for four years. i went to a party and was asked if a wanted a drink. I like lime and soda and was handed a drink. Took a sip and found the bloke had misheard me. Hed bought me wine and soda. Ended up having 4!

    If you google ALCOHOL KINDLING, you will see that each relapse takes longer and longer to get over.

    Do i wish id not drunk that wine? YES i do.

    Have you heard of the Sinclair Method? A lot on here have had excellent success by using it. I used Campral, the anti craving drug.

    Hope you start to feel a bit better, soon x

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  • Posted

    Hi Vicky,

    Just wondered how you are getting on!!

    Have you managed to climb back on the wagon?

    It's SO SO difficult - I have managed to talk myself out of drinking a ready mixed gin & tonic

    which is sitting in my fridge. I was so wound up the other day that drinking the G&T was the first thing I was going to do when I got home.

    Feeling calmer today but I know that the temptation is still there.

    (Yes I could throw it away!!)

    All the best

    Claire xx

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