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so i have been battling with anxiety and ptsd for years. At times i feel i am doing well, but then i get whammed with a medical issue. Weird ones or i should say rare ones and it has gotten to the point im exhausted and just find myself praying. I have Gerd, TMJ and tinnitus and lovely headaches all the time. All have been tested with brain scans and blood work.I have PVD and floaters and an issue with optic nerve pallor in my right eye. I see a occuplastic surgeon who watched the optic nerve and tests it every six onths, but it is the optic nerve so its only a watchful thing one can do,I have these yellow plaque soft ugly yellow things under eyelids on too and a tad on the sides its xathaplasmas. The specialized doc wants me to cut apart both eyelids. Same doc. That cares for the optic nerve. Um. I have massive anxiety as it is. Cant take motrin because of impending surgery as i wait. I wanted a peel maybe laser not cutting my eyelids apart and ive read all the risks with ectropion and such. Anyway i am a mess and i am so exhausted from these ailments and anxiety i do not know anymore how to cope with all this. I pray and believe in angels and archangels. I try to go about my days but the surgery is coming up and i feel like im going to collapse already. I schedulaed another consultation with the surgeon who sees me as a canvas not a human because i want half at a time. I sick of being told what i should do and then left to heal myself as a result. I eat well, i dont drink alchol. I do smoke half a oack of cigarettes a day that i cant seem to kick that habit. I feel very punished but hinestly i am not a bad oerson and am kind and heloful so how do i live in my body? I love my family very much and i feel awful im a mess physically and emotionally. Any advice. I really need some advice or prayers and advice.
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