Had Protected Intercourse with a Herpes Positive girl 8 days ago

Thanks for the reply and she actually has genital herpes hsv1, which to my understanding is pretty uncommon?

She wasn't even planning on telling me, I had to ask her. She went on to say that it's not easy to tell someone that she has herpes. I wasn't able to display empathy for her because this is a condition that is with someone for the rest of their life. It should have been said before anything happened. What would a swab be taken of if I don't have any definite sores? And thank you for replying.

That's craaaaazzzzy !!! I would be mad .. That's the same way I got mine , somebody didn't alert me that they had it . Which is total crap . If she isn't ready to tell someone she has herpes she shouldn't be having sex ., did she push protection a lot ( like did she want you to use a condom)

If she has type one its not as bad as type two .. But still

I would have cut all ties off with her . Flat out

How did you find out she had herpes if she didn't tell you ?

I doubt you have it . But if a bump ever does come about be sure to get it swabbed ASAP .

A blood test is also available whenever you are ready to take it ..

I seriously don't think you have it , especially since she has type one . That is even more rare .

But whoever the female is I wools seriously suggest you to leave her alone , this is a life long virus that i can bet my last that you don't want to experience ..

Trust me I have ended any connections I had with her. She did push using a condom, just figured she was being smart, so I went with it. I was very angry and I couldn't believe she was that shallow of a person to not inform me. I will keep you guys informed and thanks for replying, I truly do appreciate it.

Would you be as outraged if you were with a girl who had oral HSV-1, but no cold sores since last year, and would you expect her to tell you before kissing or whatever else? It's the exact same thing. In fact, the scenario I presented would be worse, because oral HSV-1 sheds more than genital HSV-1, and oral sex is rarely protected, so maybe step back and re-evaluate your anger...

So if she didn't push to wear a condom then you wouldn't have wore one? I think she was pretty smart regardless of having merely one outbreak of a cold sore on her genital one time a year ago and never since. As said already would you be as angry if she had a cold sore on her lip starting without telling you before a kiss? It is also worth remembering that hsv1 can be passed on via oral sex without sexual intercourse taking place, oh... And... Many people carry the virus dormant without ever knowing they have it with no symptoms which means if she had not have pushed to wear a condom and you are already a silent carrier the you could pass it on!... I hope for your sake you don't have herpes ( and the future partners that maybe don't push to make you wear a condom) .....

Couldn't agree more with this 👏🏼

Same thing happened to me man and I have been having anxiety it's been 9 days and. I have had tingling also my dr said just wait to see if you have a breakout or not.. I was so mad at the girl for not telling me I felt played ..

You don't even know which type she has, where, how she tested, or whether the test she did is accurate. Could just be asymptomatic oral herpes, if even that.

Hmmm, if people don't need to disclose that they used to get cold sores (and, no, they don't, but maybe they should!), then I honestly don't see the difference in not disclosing genital HSV-1. Same exact virus, less infectious when genital, and condoms are more the norm for intercourse than oral sex. The biggest offenders are those with HSV-1 orally! That's why the majority of genital HSV-1 cases are caught via oral sex. Different story for HSV-2, so type does matter. And where.

I didn't have a choice either and if I had known I would have chosen not to have sexual contact even though it was with a condom with my partner at the time. He didn't have any symptoms and was a silent carrier. The fact is I chose to engage in oral sex from him which is how I ended up with suspected herpes 1 genitally so I did so without really knowing his full sexual health back ground even though I used protection the risk was still there orally. There is a lot of speculation around herpes testing and a lot of cases of false positives and false negatives when testing specifically for it, not all std/sti tests automatically include testing for herpes so ive been made aware by gp. I had 2 negative results for herpes swab and blood test but my doctor wants me to wait and test again as sometimes it takes a few weeks to months for the virus to show up as in antibodies in the blood as I also learnt on here. Therefore right now even with a 'clean' negative sexual health result for everything, I may still have hsv1.... Of course I am not going to have sex with anyone until I know for certain and if I do I will certainly give them the choice. We are responsible for our own sexual health, if you don't want to use protection, be safe, or get the details of your sexual partners history in writing (they may never know themselves) then we are open to the risk. The sexual health doctor told me the only way to 100% avoid any infections such as herpes is to never have sexual contact even kissing with anyone, he also said even then if you have it as a cold sore you can potentially pass it on to yourself by touching your mouth and then touching your genitals. It is a horrible experience that no one talks about openly in public and only when you face a potential diagnosis do we then realise how many people are actually affected unknowingly and knowingly. Feliscatus has given some great advice throughout many of the discussions on this forum, I found great support, peace and understanding in this, I hope you all do too. The vast majority of the population I feel in my age group in Ireland are not educated on the workings of herpes and how silently it is passed along. I certainly had no idea until now. I hope I don't have it but I'm now better educated on a very common virus.

And yes, the common culprits are those who suffer/ have suffered from cold sores, and how many of us ask partners if they've ever had them before engaging in sexual activities? They don't need to have one on their lip etc to still pass it on.... My partner had no idea he could pass it on as he hasn't had a cold sore in over 16 years, but he still carries the virus. So is it him I blame for being uneducated on the matter or myself for not being educated on herpes and failing to ask him if he ever had coldsores? All that matters now is we are both more educated on the matter and hopefully can reduce and prevent being the ones to pass it on to anyone else.

I feel where your coming sweetie .

Same exact thing happen to me ..

They didn't even tell me they were affected ...

And when I got it I was thinking it was a chemical burn and I sat there and told them the whole process that I was going through & come to find out it was genital herpes .. When I told them they tried to switch it all on me .. Even tho they were the only person I was having sex with ..

Didn't make any sense .

I'm still emotional and distraught about it , the only person that knows I have it is my ex boyfriend ..

I haven't told anyone else .. And only reason why he is knows is because we were together at the time ..

It has opened my eyes up alottttt .

I think before I do every little thing which is what I should've been doing before ..

I mean my friends are out here doing everything possible with strange men and no protection they haven't even gotten a chance to get burned .

But the one time I do something I'm stuck for life I mean I would've rather gotten a shot of penicillin then deal with this life long disease ..

I have no Idea how to disclose to people that I am positive for herpes so I have no reason to date or anything else.. I don't even really talk / or converse with guys like I use to the fact that I'm going to have To tell them about this life long virus just makes me not want to start anything up .

How old are you ? And how long have you had it ?

Sorry for my long conversation .. I just seriously don't have anyone to talk to because noooo body knows . Nobody . And my ex knows but we just recently broke up and he is seeming to be moving on with another female so that's a dead end to me ...

How many outbreaks have you had ?

And how do you know you are having an outbreak ? When you do get an outbreak is it as painful as the first one you ever got ?

I agree with you there....for the first time since getting genital type 1, i told somone i had it. I saw this guy about 2 weeks after my first outbreak. I didnt expect anything to happen but the guy tried to have sex. I didnt allow it knowing i had just healed from my first outbreak ...i ended up just giving him oral. I used my period as an excuse as to why i didnt want to engage in sex. A month after that he tried contacting me again...i knew with the same intentions to have sex...i figured id tell him ahead of time at this point. He was kind about it at first but when i mentioned i had it the last time around when i gave him oral he freaked out! Even though i dont have oral herpes he seemed upset. But get this he told me he has oral herpes and that it wasnt the same as my type 1 genital! And he was scared i gave him genital herpes some how even though again i dont have oral herpes and all i did was oral on him. He made me feel so bad about it, and it made me think, so its expected i say if i have gential hsv 1, well then i think he should have also mentioned to me that he has oral hsv 1 if we were being fair , especially in terms of how contagious the virus is.

Lol, what a hypocrite! Should have told him it was a douche like him with undisclosed oral HSV-1 who gave it to you genitally and that it is the same exact virus, so he's already immune. Hope you don't bother with him again!

Exactly!!! But i had to explain to this guy that we had the exact same virus just different locations. And that herpes isnt called type 1 or 2 based on location, but the virus type. he was trying to tell me genital herpes is always type 2. And yeah im def. Not bothering with him again.