had to go to hosptal last night

Hi Sue,

I am so sorry to hear this news. You sound really desperate. The only way forward is to get some proper help for the underlying condition. Taking meds may or may not help in the short term, but that is all it is a short term fix. With the Voltarol (diclofenac) by the way, ideally it should be taken with a stomach liner. I take it with Omeprazole, which your doctor can prescribe. Try it, you have nothing to lose.

So far as getting some proper help is concerned all I can say is just keep banging on doors until somebody does something. NHS mental health services are even worse than those for back pain. As someone who has experienced both, I would say try to separate the two. I suspect that it is the pain that is fuelling your desperation which in turn in fuelling the suicidal \"there has to be something better than this\" thoughts. If now is the time that you really need your Dad, to help you through the pain it is understandable that you would want to be with him.

Don't give up Sue. Turn your pain, frustration and desperation into something positive.......anger. Anger is your friend. It will keep you strong and help you to find a way forward with getting some meaningful help for your back problems. Very few suicidal people want to be dead. They just don't want to live any more. There is a big difference. Nobody wants to live with constant excruciating pain, with no end in sight. The hospital staff knew why you were feeling this way, if they thought you were a danger to yourself then they would have sectioned you. So that's good news, yeah??? Stay focused on getting help for your back pain. Knock on the doors, ask questions, demand answers and don't let the b*ggers get you down.

You may be wondering why I feel so strongly on this subject. Well, last year several times I collapsed from the pain. Like you I was taken to hospital just to be given morphine, and then sent home with some meds. But most of all, one day in May last year, through the unbearable pain, I ended up in the street in agony, and was locked in cycles of pain/panic/hyperventilation. I passed out repeatedly, just for it all to start again when I came around. The paramedic called the police, but because I kept trying to get away and because by this time I was apparently in the road (not that I remember because I was so far gone), the copper put me in handcuffs behind my back, bruising my arms badly in the process, called out a police van and then took me to the local mental hospital under a Section 136. I was put into a locked assessment unit, from which I managed to escape and after that I was given a police guard and a security guard. My family were all interviewed. I was then assessed and released because the psychiatrist and social worker could see that this had all come about because of the unbearable pain. Even though I had been completely out of my head, there was no follow up whatsoever from the mental health services. I mention this only because you seem to be hanging on to some mental health help. After this I was lucky to find a meds combination that really worked and I went on to have a microdisectomy. It was not without problems, both before and after the op. In fact they completely botched it up and I am now suing them. So there is no happy, fairytale ending. But I just wanted you to know that what you are feeling is dare I say it \"normal\" albeit in a very abnormal situation.

As I say Sue, let anger be your friend. It will give you the strength to march on to get proper help. Do you want to tell us a bit more about your journey to date???

Best wishes

TFU

Hi Tfu. I`m sorry to hear about your experiences Today i feel a bit better. i had another dose of voltarol and managed to keep it down and the pain has virtually gone. Go for my mri tommorow and i dont feel so down. i managed to get in my car for the first time in weeks without it hurting and nearly managed to walk around tesco without the wheelchair and it felt soooooo gooooooooood. i dont know if i just had a good day and the pain and misery that i`ve had will come back tommorrow but i`m enjoying today like it`s my last. Hope i have more good days than bad. Mornings are the worst for me. i hate getting out of bed because it hurts more but when you have 3 children you have to. All the best Sue.

Hi Sue,

You sound much brighter now. It's amazing how a few hours without, or nearly without pain can make such a difference? I had a bit of a laugh when I saw what you did with your pain free time......Tescos!!!! Always the mum, right!!! The family have to be fed though. I am just the same. My children are all in their twenties now, but two do still live at home and even when I was in agony I felt it my duty to cook their tea!!! The Diclofenac is an anti-inflammatory drug and it can work wonders. It probably takes a few days to build up in your system, so you should feel even better soon, particularly if you are also taking painkillers (Paracetamol, Co-codamol etc).

Good luck with the scan tomorrow. If you haven't had one before, you have to lie really still. If you are having a lot of back and leg pain it is very difficult, but it has to be done. YOu asked about when you will get the results back. Well that depends on who ordered the scan. The scan results will be ready about 48 hours afterwards, as apart from the pictures a radiologist has to write a report. If they are going back to your GP, then you should get them quite soon. The problem then is that if you need to see a neurosurgeon, you have to be referred and an appointment can take anything up to 13 weeks. If it was a consultant that ordered them, then you will need another appointment to go back. That's the tricky part as they are always booked up. Whenever I have had one done, I was told to call up for another follow up appointment, two weeks after the scan was done. That is, call up when you have the scan date, not after you have had the scan done. If you ring up, to get a date, they will always try to fob you off with a date weeks away. A little white lie of \"oh, I was told I definately needed another appointment in two weeks, doesn't the records show that\" usually does the trick. y.You can also throw in \"oh, I was told to mention, oh what is it called, oh yes, a forced booking??\". That is the means by which the bookings people can overbook a clinic.

You are just about to embark on the great NHS waiting game. You may be lucky, you may not, but half the battle is understanding the rules of the game. The road to treatment is not usually quick, but we will help you. I learned a lot from the people here and now what goes around comes around and I am happy to help others in anyway I can. Just remember you are not on your own, there are many other people that I have trodden this path!!!!

Best wishes

TFU

HI tFU i`m glad i made you laugh cause i just had to giggle when i read your post. The reason i went to tesco was cause it was the nearest shop to me. i wasn`t brave enough to take the kids with us so my mother had them. A Cop out i know. Have to go see my doctor tommorow to get some more voltorol and thanks for the advise it`s good to know that the side effects wont last long cause i have felt a whole lot better. Not looking forward to going to bed tonight but needs must because i always wake up in the middle of the night in pain but my partners very understanding and talks to me till i drop off again. i cant emphasise how important it is to have great support at home. I`ll let you know how i get on. All the best Sue.