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Hi has anyone read or joined the hams group? I've bought the book and finding it ok so far, Just read the group is actually American though and although I love speaking to anyone and everyone I would like to find an online uk group to possibly join? I am having a truly bad night tonight not even particularly wanting a drink just feeling down and stressed about constantly thinking about it and blaming myself for getting in this situation and dreading the weekend when I have to try ten times harder to be sociable but have to think about drinking too much :-(

Sorry to be so negative, this thing can be so bloody lonely


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11 Replies

  • Posted

    Just went in for a little glimps, nothing wrong with it I would say.

    Lonely, yups, have the same feeling sometimes, even when around my best friends or family.

    Some things you just can't or don't want to discuss with them.

    I'm having some relationship problems at this time, being blamed not to be interested in what my boyfriend has to say.

    Gasp....maybe he's right about this ;-)

    Good night,



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    • Posted

      Yes it's so hard to talk to our family:friends as I feel they just don't get it as they aren't like me

      I'm sure it's hard for our partners too tho :-(

      I hope you work things out, with mine it's long silences which can be very hard

      Good luck

      I promise to be more positive tomorrow escar

      Rach x

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  • Posted

    sorry to hear of your situation but totally empathise with you when i am not drinking which i can sustain from for a few days i feel good and my family are happy then when i think i can just have a bottle of wine that is me off i can drink for a week without eating just drinking i know this is binge drinking my husband encourges me as he also drinks to excess but it suits him if I am drinking as he just keeps filling up my glass and then i sleep and when awake I need another drink i no it is my thinking and not my drinking that gets to where i use this mantra all the time some time it works but i still dread taking that next drink as I know what my downfall will be you sound a strong person i know how lonely this addiction is take care


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    • Posted

      Thank you Angela

      I'm trying to be strong and all those around me say I am but I feel very weak at times :-(

      I am able to have drink free days and I too will start on the wine and drink til I fall asleep and wake up in a blur never remembering blah blah

      It's been 2 weeks now since I've been like that and I'm proud of myself but I won't lie and say it's not a struggle

      Good luck stay strong


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  • Posted

    Well done Rachel i am not being condensating but i know we all try to be strong i dont think i have gone two weeks without not just one drink but like you i dont go to sleep i just pass out and then when i try not to drink i cant sleep for up to 36 hours then i think "just a bottle " of wine which i know doesnt stop there but i remember a time that it did, it is just trying to figure out where it all went wrong.

    Stay strong kiddo x

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  • Posted

    hi rachel,  i ust jioned this group a week or so ago.  i absolutely love it.  it has really really helped me.  it's not like some of the aa groups i have been attending for along time.  nobody ever says they relasped and if they do you are shunned in around about way.  so most everybody pretends they are happy and seems really dishonest to me.  here everyone has been understanding and seems sincerely concerned for each other and puts their sh*t on the table without the fear of being judged.  it helps me to write out my concerns, beliefs and feelings.  i have had areal problem with writing on my own.   just be who you are and try to not judge yourself too harshly.  i can't do it very well.  there is always another group if they dislike me.  stay home i don't recommend socializing in public unless it's a recovery group.  someone one is bound to p*ss me off out there and i don't want any alcohol in eyesight until i get more steady on my feet.  
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    • Posted

      I agree with what you said about this group, candis.  There is no judgment, just understanding and empathy. 

      You are doing very well, stay strong.

      You too, Rachel.

      Love to you both xxxxx

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    • Posted

      Hi Candis

      I would have had to drive miles to find an AA type meeting and not in my language. Waste of time then. So in English are they really as you say holding back or not being honest and so on. If thats the case whats the point of it all ? Personally I would go for moral group support and all that, after all what we are going through here is no bloody game. This is serious. I will never forget last new years eve watching the clock tick over alone with a glass of orange juice.

      To frightened to go outside. Madness

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  • Posted

    I just went a little more into this Hams meetups.

    I think it's an exelent idea to meet up with others.

    I was surprised how many meetups there where in my region.

    I would say....go for it, seems like fun.


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  • Posted

    Thank you so much everyone, you are allovely and I don't know any of you personally but you are all helping me and I love you all for it

    As for socialising, as I am doing reduction of alcohol I find I need to carry on socialising and adapt to my new relationship with alcohol, the hams book covers this quite well, any other reading recommendations welcome !

    We are all different and whatever suits you I believe you should stick to!

    Happy Friday you all

    Rachie xxx

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    • Posted

      Hi Rachel,

      Thanks for you rintroduction to Hams.

      I searched on line and fond some meetups here in Montpellier.

      Tomorow I'll go hiking with some others in our family.

      I'm realy looking forwarts to this and let you know how it went.

      For now, good night and have a nice weekend.




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