Handling Social Situations

Restaurants are the worst for me ... all the ambient noise; people talking, the high pitch of silverware, glasses and dishes clanking. My family and close friends are aware and if I have to leave, they understand. They also understand if I don't show up for gatherings. When they come to my house and if it gets too bad, I just retreat to my dark office or dark bedroom and let my body calm down.

My Daughter suffers with this also , she cannot do more than one or two people ata time and crowds wear her down quick as concentrating on more than one conversation drains ! May be you need to have smaller gatherings and shorten the time , you have obviously had this condition for many years so close friends should understand X I also think that it's the getting ready before hand that starts to drain you before people even arrive x Good Luck next time 🤞

I just have to jump in to your defense! Stop beating yourself up! Yes, you may have been able to make the night a bit less exhausting for yourself if you'd spoke up but it's not easy. It sounds like you didn't want to make anyone feel bad for talking to you because it's essentially a nice thing to do (talking to you). So you put the feelings of others over your own welfare. This is just a sign that your probably quite a caring person, no bad thing really (although I'd bet this is a very dominant trait in people with CFS). The thing with CFS is that you have to put your needs first. I find this so difficult and believe it's the train I have cfs in the first place as I've neglected my emotional needs for so long. I have a social thing coming up and I've been quite anxious about it but have spoken to my husband who's figured out a plan. We're staying over at the host's and have a room so the plan is for me to go to bed before I feel I've had enough and before a certain time. This will be hard as, like you I don't want to appear rude but I have to prioritise my health. I know it's likely I will push through and even feel OK while I'm there so that's why I've got a rule that I won't stay up past a certain time and won't drink alcohol etc. Some of the people I'll be with do think it's rude to leave a party early but I just have to accept that that's their belief. I know I'm not being rude, I just know that I'll be knocked for a week or longer if I push through. My belief is that they're ride to expect me to forgo my health for the sake of their party. We have different beliefs but I need to live my life according to what's right for me.

You've had a tough lesson but try let it just be a lesson that you can learn from and not an excuse to now criticise your self.

I know it does feel that you're being punished for trying to have fun but viewing it in this way only leaves you feeling rubbish (angry?). Which is going to exhaust you further. The reality is, this illness doesn't have a mind, it's not deciding to inflict pain on you and doesn't wish you harm. It's just here for some unknown reason and you don't know for how long. It's better for you to work with it ;it's here and we can't just take it away (unfortunately) but we can learn to live with it, which will ultimately make your life a lot easier and possibly also reduce the likelihood of symptoms.

I really hope you recover from this knock quickly. Please allow yourself to rest ; not just physically rest but also mentally (ie try and stop giving yourself a hard time) x

Good for you! You did it! You accomplished a social gathering altho you had to pay a big price. I just saw all my highschool friends for the first time in 10 years. I warned them all that i may have to lay down somewhere in the midst of our gathering and joked that i could be a centerpiece on the table. Well first we met out for dinner at a nice restaurant id never been to. Well stairs and hills or inclines have become my worst enemy the last couple years, and guess where my friends were sitting? Yup, upstairs. I took them slowly one step at a time, as to not wear myself out. The catching up was great , healthy food and pictures to capture the cherished moment. I dont know about you , but with this illness i always think it may be my last time at any event. Mainly because ive been having alot of heart exertion and pain last 2 years. Its just scary. But i appreciate every day god gives me. So short but sweet visits with friends are my social life.