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Hanging by a thread

Posted , 3 users are following.

rachael87302
rachael87302

I never thought I knew what the phrase hanging by a thread meant, but in the last six months it seems everything that could go wrong has, firstly I had an operation in January which was supposed to have a recovery time of 6 weeks and 6 months later I am still in pain.  This has affected my work and most importantly my relationship.

Three months ago we started to go through a business redesign process at work where we had to apply for our jobs, I was unsuccessful in a job I have been doing successfully for 6 years.

So I am having a meeting on Friday which will give me six weeks notice of redundancy, I love my job and it's breaking my heart that I am having to leave it.

Then four weeks ago my always fit mother was diagnosed with cancer and has since undergone an operation to remove it, she is recovering ok after getting an infection but we still don't know if she is cancer free or not.

Then to top all that off my relationship of the last 2 1/2 years ended at the weekend because he has grown away from me, I actually don't know what to do with myself and it seems all the upset and illness has driven him away, it can't be good for anyone having to live with someone who is constantly in pain I appreciate that, but I need him more than ever and it seems he has walked away.

I don't have any savings and I have my own house so now I am desperately worried that I don't get another job and can see myself on the streets.

I can't sleep, I can't eat and the tears won't stop flowing, I don't know where to turn to next.

0 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • zoe1976
    zoe1976 rachael87302

    Posted

    Oh Rachel - sounds like it doesn't rain but pours!

    You have so much to cope with right now - I'd be amazed if you weren't stressed!

    Have you spoken to your partner about his leaving being mabye a cause of your operation (are you on any meds for that?) - or, did you see it coming? Was he by your side when you had your operation done?

    Your mother - well, that again, is truly awful news - let's just hope she gets given the "all clear"

    RE: Your job - whatever happens you can always apply to the ESA as they support you finanacially if you're not well. Will probably ask you for a medical certificate or note from your GP signing you off work.

    Keep strong you - you're going through a lot but, it's NOT your fault!

    Let me know how you get on.

    Zoe x

    • rachael87302
      rachael87302 zoe1976

      Posted

      Thanks Zoe,

      I appreciate it the pain is being managed by pain management I had a hysterectomy which I thought would be the answer to all my problems instead I have ended up on 200mg of slow release tramadol and 8 paracetamol a day just to keep going.

      Partner didn't support me well through any of it and now says we have grown apart...so nothing I can do there he left Sunday.

      Not been in touch since.

      Mum I am keeping everything crossed for too and the we gave been treat so crap by the company I work for they better prepare themselves for a fight I just hope I can find the strength.

      If I didn't have my beautiful rottie by my side not sure what I would do.

      Thanks for listening x

  • jackie82937
    jackie82937 rachael87302

    Posted

    Believe it or not you will get through this, it's surprising what crap life throws at us.  I'm guessing you've had the pain checked out?  Even though you can be told 6 weeks everyone heals differently.

    I lost my cousin 46 waiting for a Liver transplant last November, my other cousin lost her husband at Christmas so is now a widow at 52.  I've just had radiotherapy for skin cancer forutnately not the type that spreads, the husband left last Sept with clinical depression and anxiety and fails to seek help and has lost his job, I gave my job up to support him and now we face reposession, I think I must have broken several mirrors with the luck I've had. 

    I've cried continaully but now having to laugh or I would go nuts, I found the best people to turn to were the Samaritans, they were very kind and asked questions too which made me gave me ideas and put a new perceptive on things.  If you are worried about finances go to Citizens Advice they're great too.  Take care

    • rachael87302
      rachael87302 jackie82937

      Posted

      Jackie

      My problems seem to pale into insignificance compared to yours.  Let's see if we can be strong together x

    • jackie82937
      jackie82937 rachael87302

      Posted

      Hi Rachael

      You are still going through a very tough time, it's not easy.  It doesn't sound like your partner supported you much and you deserve better.  With regard to your job yes you need to fight.  My husband is trying to Divorce me does that bother me?  It did at first and if that's what he wants it's a decision he will have to live with, basically he's blaming our relationship because he can't or won't deal with his depression.  My solciotr has chucked in the towel said it's futile trying to negotiate with him.  I haven't given up, I'm fighting his solicitor and have written proof he's ill, wish I'd been a fly on the wall when she got my letter!  Fortunately I have a bit of law experience and am kicking both their ars*s!  To be honest Ihaven't had quite so much fun in ages.  As for the Radiotherapy  I had too much to worry about to even think about that but when I went for treatment I reaslised just how very lucky I was when I sat next to a guy who told me he was terminal and saw others arrive in wheel chairs and on hospital beds for their treatment.  Love from your dog is uncondtional, my two little dogs are keeping me going too.  Take care.  J x

  • jackie82937
    jackie82937 rachael87302

    Posted

    Hi Rachael

    I forgot to say I had some free advice from an Employment Lawyer, he gave me well over an hour of his time with no charge, it should have cost me £200, he was brilliant, if you want his number send me a private message and I'll give you his details.  J x

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