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Has anyone ever got depression for apparently no reason?

Posted , 10 users are following.

isnowdropi
isnowdropi

Has anybody ever experienced depression without any outward symptoms? 

By this, I mean my life was absolutely fine and normal, it started when I was 13/14, there seemed to be no trigger, like a divorce or death or bullying. I had friends and a great family.

Yet for some reason, depression started to sink in, I felt lonely where I wasn't alone, sad when there was no reason to be sad and developed extreme low self esteem; I was convinced that I was some kind of bad, worthless person and labelled myself many negative traits. I always struggled with talking to people even making normal conversation, and was especially afraid of speaking to new people.

I've felt that way for almost 9 years, and all that time I was very aware of what I was thinking. It felt like I couldn't stop, just kept turning things over in my head, ruminating and wondering whether there was something wrong with me, why could I not speak to people confidently like I could before? etc. 

I'm sure there were a number of small subtle events that happened proceeding the depression that triggered it but has anyone else experienced something like this? Where there was no obvious event that started it?

Thanks,

isnowdropi

4 likes, 16 replies

16 Replies

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  • rs93556
    rs93556 isnowdropi

    Posted

    Yes I have had a similar experience. Outwardly there was no reason for me to become depressed, I previously had friends, and I have a supportive family, but around the same time I started to feel badly about myself and detached from the outside world, and I have never really recovered. I have discussed it with many therapists and counsellors over the years, and still I don't know why.

     

    • isnowdropi
      isnowdropi rs93556

      Posted

      Thanks for replying rs93556 and 1234567890. had the same experience trying to speak to therapists and counsellors about it. I discovered however, that probably the main cause - or indeed the continuity of it - was because I was ruminating about my depression. It took me a long time to figure out and a lot of convincing as well because I believed that thinking about my problems (basically why I was like this, what was wrong with me etc.) would at some point offer me an answer to fix the depression. I guess that's why it was a never ending cycle. Practising mindfulness and CBT has helped me to improve though, and though I'm unsure of your situations perhaps this could be helpful too.
    • rs93556
      rs93556 isnowdropi

      Posted

      Im glad that you have found something that has helped. I have tried CBT and Mindfullness in the past, but I have found it allows more space for my worries to take over. I definately know what you mean about wanting to 'find the answer'; that is something I think about a lot - and it hasn't neccessarily helped. But I suppose I still hope that if I could just work out what I was doing wrong, or what started this - then maybe I could get better?
    • isnowdropi
      isnowdropi rs93556

      Posted

      I found that CBT and mindfulness effected me in much the same way. It didn't help me at all in the beginning but I truly believe now that it was because my brain was too active if that makes sense. I was so used to many years of rumination, thinking and analysing that as you said, it's hard to stop believing that it will help you in some way. Depressed people have tendency to "problem-solve" and why not, because that's how humans tackle the world, a problem arises and we automatically try to find a solution. But the thing I finally realised after 9 years was that all this proves and points to was that thinking had NEVER helped me. I've just finished my 2nd course of CBT and started mindfulness. It's funny because I used to think meditation was boring and useless but learning to shift my focus onto my body and external things rather than just "living in my head" all the time has done wonders to my mood and perspective of life. It's all about realising the negative thought(s) while it's occurring and then bringing your attention back to the present moment.

      Sorry for writing an essay but I really hope this persuades you even a little as I do feel like I know what you feel like! Good luck.

    • rs93556
      rs93556 isnowdropi

      Posted

      Thanks - What you say does make a lot of sense - I will think about giving it another try. 
    • rs93556
      rs93556 isnowdropi

      Posted

      Hi Snowdrop, I was thinking about your advice last night, and I was wondering if you can reccommend a CBT/Midfullness course? Im sure their a plenty about, but sometimes a reccomendation is helpful. Thanks. RS
  • 1234567890
    1234567890 isnowdropi

    Posted

    Yes my depression started the same way when I was 14, following the equally unexplained onset of an eating disorder (which I've since got over but the depression has remained). 
  • MattBearPig
    MattBearPig isnowdropi

    Posted

    Hi,

    While I am unsure when exactly my depression first hit, I first really recognized it in my mid-20's. I've always been a bit of a shut-in, but I found that I was removing myself from most if not all social situations, and having some pretty severe depressive episodes. Nothing I seemed to do was working. I have a small group of very good friends (which is all I've ever really needed), a good full-time job, and enough time/money to partake in activities and hobbies that I've always enjoyed. But I was still hitting a wall. Unfortunately, it's been hard for me to pinpoint when it started, but in looking back, I think it is something that I had ignored for years. But one thing I've never been able to do is pinpoint one or even a few events that have set me down this path.

    Over the last year (once I recognized what was happening and sought help) I've come to believe that I've been bottling every negative emotion, ignoring them and being completely convinced they didn't bother me, without properly expressing them. And once those hit an apex, it created a negative feedback loop of unfounded self blame, culminating in full blown depression.

    Everybody is different, and not everything happens for a reason. Sadly, we may never know what sets us off on this path. The silver lining is that there is help out there once you do recognize it.

    • isnowdropi
      isnowdropi MattBearPig

      Posted

      Hi 

      I think you just described exactly how I felt- I could never pinpoint when exactly I started to feel depressed either, it was only when I was 16 that it hit me, painfully, that something was very wrong. 

      Sometimes it's in our genetics; I know for one that I'm a very sensitive person and probably small seemingly insignificant events in my childhood with peers and stuff had affected my self esteem. Depressed people tend to withdraw and ruminate in their heads how to get out of this situation and work out what's wrong with us, but the way out is not thinking but rather the opposite, thinking less and being more present.

      You're right, there is help out there once we realise it but I just wish things like depression were taught to young kids at an early age so that they know they are not suffering alone and where to find that help.

  • abraham62199
    abraham62199 isnowdropi

    Posted

    Yes, I have everything, family, business and no financial problems  and still really depressed, whats it all about? we need to befreind each other to get us through we can only, do it together. I have been out tonight and had to much to drink but people. (the right people) were around, thats the answer surround yourself with the right people.Stop hating ourselves, try and be posative , we can do it!

     

    • isnowdropi
      isnowdropi abraham62199

      Posted

      Definitely surrounding ourselves with the right people is important. And also speaking to them about your worries, too often we tend to shut ourselves in but speaking out is probably the most important thing you can do.
  • amit90379
    amit90379 isnowdropi

    Posted

    Hi guys, I am also having a similar experience which you all have mentioned here. I am in mid 20s, have wonderful family , few very good friends and a very good job but for past some time I am feeling very sad and lonely for no reason. When this has started I dont know but for past some time its getting clearer to me. I am becoming more and more self involved, afraid of talking to people(especially new people), not able to take part in normal conversations and even strugle to smile when someone in group crack any joke or say something funny. I feel sad when I look at something beautiful thing especially natural thing like rain or greenery. I am getting sick of this feeling now. I saw many people writting about mindfulness and CBT here. Can anyone please explain what those are? 
  • michelle07439
    michelle07439 isnowdropi

    Posted

    I'm going through something similar... I'm in my 20s and for some reason for the last few days its almost like a Vail of sadness has been draped over me, for seemingly no reason. I'm getting irritated. The only thing I can think of that is causing this is maybe residual grief from the past year. I lost my grandma, and I have several family members who have been having health issues, but other than that, its been random sadness.
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