Has anyone experienced this sleep disorder?
Posted , 4 users are following.
For at least 5 years I have had problems going to sleep and encountering a voice or maybe not even a voice but thoughts. They tell me horrible things, but they are hard to describe logically here. For example last night. It said I had 2 minutes and then all the young children in families in the UK would be exploded, and after 30 minutes all the children in the world would, unless I got up and turned on the light. Every night I get them, different subjects but usually involving death in some way. I feel as if I am awake and nearly know that the voice is talking nonsense but not quite enough to overcome it. I rarely act, maybe once every 3 months I will get up if it told me to.
I went to a consultant and he diagnosed confusional arousal, but for all I have read about that - it doesn't seem to be the same thing. He suggested mindfulness, and I do meditate but it doesn't always help.
It would be really helpful to know I am not the only one. Thank you.
0 likes, 5 replies
lily65668 barngirl
Posted
Hi Barngirl, I think I know what you're talking about, and it doesn't sound remotely like confusional arousal to me either. Doctors - even some sleep specialists - are notoriously ignorant about sleep-related phenomena, even the more common ones.
I've had something which I think is similar for the past 50 years. Hallucinations that occur while one is falling asleep are called hypnagogic hallucinations, but they can be down to various causes, and can be very different in type.
Hypnagogic hallucinations of the kind you describe are most commonly associated with sleep paralysis. However, the sleep paralysis phenomenon is a whole syndrome which can include various different symptoms. A syndrome is a collection of symptoms, so any one person won't necessarily have all the symptoms. Also, sleep paralysis (or any of its related symptoms) is sometimes found in conjunction with narcolepsy, though this isn't automatic either.
I've had sleep paralysis for more than 50 years, and hypnagogic hallucinations have always been among my symptoms. Sleep paralysis and any related symptoms can start at any time in life, but the most usual age of onset is 15-25 years. I don't know whether that rings a bell with you.
Maybe it would help if I described my own hypnagogic hallucinations, which started at the same time as sleep paralysis, when I was 23. They're usually auditory (sound) but occasionally visual. However, like any other kind of hallucination, they can affect any of our senses. Just as I'm falling asleep, I'll hear a loud voice that I can only describe as being "in the mind's ear". Sometimes I can identify it as being like my own voice, as heard in recordings, or else my mother's - but then we had very similar voices. Other times, it doesn't have any identifiable quality. My voice doesn't say the apocalyptic stuff that you hear, but alarming enough to make me sit bolt upright or even jump out of bed. Most commonly, it'll be stuff like: "The house is on fire"; or "There's a spider in the bed". (I'm the world's worst arachnophobe!)
Less often, I get visual hallucinations in the same stage of falling asleep, sometimes associated with sound as well. These are very similar, being "in the mind's eye". By this I mean I don't actually see things on my closed eyelids. The visual ones tend to be scarier, usually consisting of monsters or evil-looking people looming over me. When they are accompanied by sound, it's always the same thing: "Hurry up and fall asleep, we're waiting for you". Guaranteed to jolt anyone awake with a start, particularly in my case, as I also suffer a much worse type of hallucination associated with sleep paralysis. For me, hypnagogic hallucinations always guarantee that I'm going to have at least one particularly nasty attack of sleep paralysis later in the night.
I would reiterate that you don't have to suffer from sleep paralysis to have hypnagogic hallucinations. However, they can sometimes be caused by the same triggers that set off sleep paralysis attacks. In my case, the main triggers for both are stress or anxiety, and getting too warm in bed. Everyone's triggers (for both) are different, so it might be worthwhile trying to identify the factors that are more likely to produce these hallucinations. Alcohol or recreational drugs (especially weed, surprisingly) taken too late in the evening are common triggers for some people, as are certain types of food eaten too late. Getting overtired can be a trigger, as can be getting too much sleep. Too much screen use in the last hour before bed can be another trigger. These are only a few examples. It's really a case of trying to identify your own triggers and then avoiding them as far as possible.
The good news is that sleep paralysis and all its related phenomena decreases as we go through life. Nowadays I only get two or three sleep paralysis episodes per month, and hypnagogic hallucinations much less often than that. I think you'll find that if you try not to get too anxious about these hallucinations they'll tail off a bit. Please feel free to ask any other questions you want to.
barngirl lily65668
Posted
lily65668, thank you so much for taking the time to write this, yours have some distinct similarities and of course differences. But even that is reassuring that I wouldn't expect to find exactly similar things.
So here is something interesting. Having written that late last night (yep blue screen!) I remembered a strategy that once worked for me, and tried it again last night and it totally worked.
As I was going to sleep I reminded my conscious brain, that if it happened I was to say "you are nonsense" (as in you don't exist) "you are not real". It did happen as usual, but I must have had enough conscious brain to see it off, because as far as I can remember I did. It feels like hard work though - but I think I might stick with it for a while.
Thanks again.
lily65668 barngirl
Posted
That's a good strategy. As I'm sure you've worked out for yourself, the content of most hallucinations, of whatever type, arises from our own unconscious. (Though the underlying cause of sleep-related hallucinations is almost certainly physical, like a very minor brain glitch.) "Talking to yourself" is therefore a very good way of dealing with the problem.
I long ago learned to manage the much worse hallucinations of sleep paralysis by using a similar technique. This doesn't mean you can stop any of these things happening completely, but it does give you some feeling of control, reducing the anxiety which is, of course, one of the triggers for such attacks.
It doesn't need to be hard work either. I've also learned over the years that using affirmations - which is basically what you're doing - doesn't and shouldn't require any effort. It's not an effort of will, which can even be counterproductive. If it involves crossed eyes, gritted teeth and clenched fists you're doing it wrong! I find affirmations work much better if I just quietly repeat them a few times before falling asleep, without putting in any effort, and regardless of whether I actually believe them or not. Most of us would admit in private to having a few fetish numbers (e.g. 3 or 7) and it can help to use one of these for repetitions, provided it's a small number you can easily keep track of and you don't get obsessive about it.
Because of the very unpleasant nature of my sleep paralysis hallucinations, I worked out a long time ago that my unconscious isn't entirely on my side. I suspect that may be true for all of us. (Or it might just be that my head is particularly messed up!) This being the case, I find it works better if I don't try to challenge my unconscious with the force of willpower, but just say my piece and move on.
I'm sure you're on the right track to getting this under some degree of control. And don't forget to look out for potential triggers at the same time, to manage the physical aspects. Yeah... blue screen and all that!
Incidentally, phenomena of this kind are often hereditary - hence the brain glitch theory - so it might be worth asking around discreetly in your family, as long as you don't alarm them. I say the latter because I know from personal experience that families can get a bit weird about this kind of thing. In my own case, I didn't find out till 20 years after the onset of my sleep paralysis that my father and several members of his family had always had it, and with much worse hallucinations than mine. My mother had forbidden him ever to tell me about it, as she was convinced it was a sign of insanity in the family!
barngirl lily65668
Posted
Gosh solid stuff lily65668, thank you so much.
heatheraq53649 barngirl
Posted
it could be harm ocd. a form of ocd that is relativly common where u obesses and ruminate about horrible things. it responds to treatment particulary cognitive behavioral therapy. find a good therapist if u can and have them do an eval. good luck!