Posted , 12 users are following.
I'm a 26 year old guy living in London and have been suffering from depression for about a year. It was only mild for a while but for the last 4 months has become so severe I sometimes struggle to lift my arms. Words can't describe how sad I feel all of the time. Every second of the day feels like an hour and I just cry over and over because of the pain I'm in. I think about suicide a lot but have not planned anything. It's more of a strange urge - if a truck or bus is coming down the road my brain says 'just quickly throw your head under the wheels and it'll all be over.' But I still have a logical part of my mind that knows it's a bad idea (and also extremely scary).
I wonder if this depression has broken my mind forever. And the reason for that is because instead of feeling like I have a veil of sadness over me, it feels like a veil of happiness has been removed and I'm now seeing the world for how it really is - pointless, full of pain and misery, selfish and cold.
It seems like all the healthy people are the ones being tricked by a veil into thinking life means anything. They are all distracted by things that just aren't important.
Now that I feel this way, I can't imagine ever believing in life again. Is my mind broken forever?
2 likes, 11 replies