Hate being by myself whilst trying to get through anxiety

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hi everyone,

Does anyone else feel uncomfortable being at home by themselves? I’ve been on citalopram for about 8 weeks now for depression and anxiety, and whilst my depression is better, the anxiety is taking longer to subside. I just find it hard to ‘switch off’ and relax when I’m at home and there’s no one there. If I’m home alone I end up trying to find things to keep me busy and my phone is never far from my reach. I don’t even like staying up past 9pm on my own, I end up taking myself off to bed. I’m fine if there’s others with me, but I feel like I’m always trying to ‘step out of my head’ when there’s no one else there and the ‘what if’s’ and scary thoughts keep trying to creep in. I understand that all of my feelings are heightened and more sensitive due to the anxiety, but it’s hard not being able to feel and be at peace in my own home. Does anyone have any tips that they use to help? 

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  • Posted

    Hi Star, I have felt like this also In the past, I live close to the Lake District, so started doing a lot of mountain walking, when I get home now after a walk, I’m a lot happier laid up on the couch watching tv alone & feel relaxed & also the feeling of accomplishment with using your day positively helped.   Hope you can use this advice in some way.

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    • Posted

      Hi Mike, thank you for your reply. You’re very lucky living somewhere like the Lake District where you can go for lovely walks! I did go for a long walk this morning and I do feel like it helped. It’s the first part of the day which is always harder for me, so I’m having to keep myself busy so I’m not thinking too much.
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  • Posted

    Yes, my anxiety definitely calms down when my kids get home from school, and then my husband from work later on.

    ?I've found that keeping as busy as possible helps. I go for really long walks, and that probably helps me the most. I also set a list of household chores to get done each day, and I work on these in the morning. To relax, I try and read or I do adult coloring.

    ?I also sometimes will walk up to the local library or go to the store, just for something to do to distract me:-).

    ?I don't have much of a green thumb, but I've heard that a lot of people who have anxiety find gardening relaxing and helpful.

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    • Posted

      Hi Kelly, thanks so much for your reply. I bought a colouring book too today! Worth a try! I think I need to go for a long walk every morning, I did that today and it definitely helped. I don’t have a garden or much of a green thumb either but maybe having some plants may give me something else to do.
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  • Posted

    Hi star

    i also did not like being alone I am sure I am a lot older than you but this condition 

    makes you afraid of everything no matter what age ,have you seen your doctor about 

    the why you feel like there are things to help but  dont be scared to tell anyone how you feel,are you keeping in touch with your doc this condition makes you have bad thoughts (I know) but don't take any heed they are just bad thoughts you are not in danger,if I can help l will certainly do so no matter how hard it is keep at it the Meds 

    will sort it out

    look after your self love you are very important.

     

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    • Posted

      Hi gibbo44, I’m 33 years old. I’ve never had a problem living alone and being independent or having my own space, so it’s been hard feeling the way I do. Yes, I am keeping in touch with my doctor, I saw her again today, she’s been very supportive, she increased my meds to 30mg so I’ll see how I get on. I’ve told her how I feel and about the scary thoughts I get and she’s assured me that it’s normal. I understand they’re not a true representation of me as a person but it’s horrible having them there in the background. I think my fear of being alone stemmed from my depression starting to get really bad and having anxiety attacks by myself at night in my living room (along with scary thoughts) and I had no idea what was happening to me, I honestly thought at the time I was going mad. So I won’t go in my living room past a certain time at night as it brings it all back. I’ve had 6 sessions of CBT, but it hasn’t helped with my issues of being alone and scary thoughts as it was ‘low intensity.’ I’m on a waiting list for high intensity CBT but it’s a 3 month wait. Hopefully by then I’ll be feeling much better! How did you cope with being alone? Thank you for your kind words.
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  • Posted

    Those negative/intrusive thoughts are always the worst:-(. Five years ago when my anxiety was so bad, I had my anxiety/negative thoughts flare up watching a super hero movie (of all things!!) with my kids. The movie had a dark undertone, with lots of scenes with cloudy skies. For weeks afterward, I had to avoid any movies with a dark tone or a lot of night time scenes in them;-).

    ​Regarding avoiding your living room, have you considered maybe spending just a little time in there each evening? Like start out with sitting in there for 2 minutes, then up to 3 minutes the next night, etc.?

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    • Posted

      They really are 😪 I avoid watching anything that might set off my anxiety, and like you mentioned, anything with a dark tone. How did you deal with the intrusive thoughts? I’ve been trying to make ‘peace’ with them and not pay them much attention. 

      I didn’t even think of that regarding my living room, thank you for the suggestion, I will give that a try. Anxiety makes you feel the most ridiculous things! How I long for the relaxing days I would spend in there on an evening with some wine! One day...

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  • Posted

    I deal with the intrusive thoughts by trying to counteract them with positive thoughts. I also tell myself, "They are just thoughts due to anxiety; they can't hurt you." and other similar things. I find picking up a book and reading for a bit helps, or listening to music.

    ?Do you have any pets? This will make me sound like a crazy cat lady (well, I guess I kind of am;-), but I do find my two cats to be a huge comfort, especially when I'm home alone. I often talk to them throughout the day:-).

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    • Posted

      Ha ha I love cats, my childhood pet was a cat, she lived for about 20 years! 😉 unfortunately I don’t have any pets now, firstly because I live in a flat, and secondly I’m not at home much normally during the day (before I was going through all of this) but it’s nice to hear they bring you comfort and keep you company ??

      Thank you, I try and occupy myself with things like TV or reading, music, too. I managed to go in my living room a little while the other evening 👍🏼 Slowly getting there 💪🏼 Hope you are well today 😊

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  • Posted

    Hi Starr

    how is your sleeping pattern,I have to take sleeping tablets from the doc 

    before this started I had no trouble sleeping but now when. I try to sleep 

    I waken up in panic because of dreams I am starting to feel better so at week 11 

    it is starting to work I suppose it will be another little while be fore it really kicks in.

    i hope you start feeling better you have came so far don't give up

    you will get there keep in touch love .bless 😄🙅

     

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    • Posted

      Hi Gibbo

      I haven’t slept through the night since the beginning of January. I now know that is was because of anxiety,  I started off by waking up with pins and needles in my arms and legs and I couldn’t understand why. I had awful headaches too but all my tests were coming back normal, a doctor put me on amitryptilyne for the headaches, I didn’t sleep for three nights and had awful heart palpitations after I took a few tablets, so I binned them and went to A&E (it was a Saturday) where they gave me some Diazepam so I could sleep and calm down. My sleep never really recovered, I would wake up at 4am each morning. I still wake up a few times a night, most of the time I can go back to sleep fairly quickly but sometimes I have to read a book for a while. I’ve had really vivid bad dreams too, but they do get better. I’ve been told sleep takes a while to sort itself out. I make sure I’m laying in bed by 9:30pm, I don’t fall asleep straightaway but it helps me rest. So glad to hear you’re feeling better! Thank you for your kind words, keep going too, I will keep in touch ??💪🏼

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