Hate my job! Cant deal with anything!

Posted , 12 users are following.

hello ladies, i have been on here many times with the crazy/scary physical symptoms. Now i need to vent about my emotional state. I just feel like Incant deal with things anymore especially my job. i have been in retail managment for over 26 years and I just switched to a different retailer hoping it would be better than the last but its not and I just feel like im going to crack up! retail has always been a tough job but i was always able to deal with it and now i just cant. i dont know if im just burned out or the menopause or a combo of both. I need to work but I dont know how much longer I can do this and I cant find anything out of retail. i am crying all the time. Ugh, i dont know what to do! thanks for letting me vent

1 like, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • Posted

    hi , i know you cant see it at the moment but things will get a little easier. Have you tried any HRT , i know its not the best thing but if your like me , and you do sound like i used to be . Have a word with your GP . Try and stay positive , i know its easier said than done. Vent all you like as it sometimes helps to chat and get it off your chest . Talking to others will help. Let me know how you get on at GP if you decide enough is enough . x

  • Posted

    Hang in there! I think that corporate US jobs mostly suck, employers don't value us or treat us well and jobs are high pressure. I think as we age and you add to that menopause symptoms or even peri -- fatigue, anxiety etc. it becomes even more unbearable. I myself am trying to find a job where I am simply valued, with a boss that treats me well and paid well. It's not so easy to find in the US. When your health is not great and your company doesn't support you being well and getting the help you need, it's so tough, esp if you are on your own and need the job. I've seriously thought of moving to Europe if I could find a job. Feel free to vent here or let us know what else you need. It would be great if this site sponsored in-person support groups in different cities too.

  • Posted

    I'm sorry!! : (Sounds awful!! Retail is tough and god bless you for sticking with it. Just hang in there. You mentioned that you just moved to a different retailer but is there any way you could take some time off or cut you hours? Probably not but just wanted to ask. If your in the US, how about working for the state?--- you have management skills and that's a plus!!! Keep working on deep breathing and don't let this job get to you-- you are much more than it and it's not worth being frazzled about. It will be ok---sometimes it helps me to get my thoughts or options on paper.. Take care

  • Posted

    I'm sorry you are going through this. I ended up leaving my job. I worked as a Victim Services Specialist at my local Police department. I went to my doctor and she said I was completely burned out and depressed. I was late every day because I would have to poop two or three times before I left the house(sorry TMI). I started having muscle spasms so bad one day they had to drive me to my doctor's office for treatment. I took a month off and saw a therapist to try and heal. I went back to work and worked four months and resigned. Yes, it's just me, yes I have bills, but God has been with me at every turn. This may not be for everyone, but no more muscle spasms or running to the bathroom two or three times before work. I feel like a different person.

  • Posted

    Oh Edell.... my heart truly goes out to you. Retail Has got to be one of the toughest jobs out there. A lot of times in this stage of our life these things happen to us to wake us up to our real calling. Is there something that you’ve been dreaming of most your life or recently that you would like to get into. A passion of yours etc. I am post menopausal three years and I just said today, that I always feel so overwhelmed. I also had a doctor appointment the other day that was not very encouraging. He immediately shut down HRT, lied through his teeth and told me that HRT is the same as BHRT and it most certainly is not. I honestly felt like he was trying to gaslight me. He didn’t realize that I was going to be educated on the subject. After all it is my body I think I should be. He was sarcastic, he’s one of those doctors that is “from a certain country“ that is not for women empowermeat. I’m really beginning to think that this is some kind of conspiracy to keep women down, put them on anti depressants, put them on anti-anxiety meds, whatever you do don’t really help them with BHRT! he also told me that the brain and hormones are two of the things that The medical field knows nothing about. The next day after digesting some of the things he said, and the mocking of my heart flash, I really got angry. I called back and left a voicemail for the nurse, noting the three discrepancies he told me and I spoke to my pharmacist about it. I know he’s angry because he called me back directly and said to contact him through the patient portal. i’m sure he’s never had anybody Dispute what he has said. at one point he even mimicked me fanning myself because I was having a hot flash as they had to turn the air conditioning off because a newborn baby had just come in the office. The minute they said or I heard them say, to turn the air-conditioning off I wanted to bolt. I have not worked as a result of taking care of my mother because she had a stroke, she has passed now, so I have not worked outside of the home, in several years, it’s a relief but it’s also not healthy because I like that interaction. all I can say is ...do what your gut is telling you to do, try to do as many healthy things for yourself as possible.. Stay away from sugar and caffeine as it completely exasperates this. The one good thing about my dr is he is into holistic measures which I like. He tells me to take melatonin, 5- HTP, L-THEANINE for sleep, what he doesn’t realize is, it’s the hormones that control sleep! this is why I just cannot stand going to the doctors office. he also mixed up Naloxone (e.g., Narcan®) with an anti-inflammation drug I was asking him about that sounds similar. He told me the anti-inflammation drug is what brings people back from heroin overdoses, completely untrue. That’s another piece of miss information I told the nurse about. he was just trying to discourage me from the anti-inflammatory drug. I have fibromyalgia, and I’m thinking why is he doing this. He said that out of 10 of his patients one of them said it was good, which I know is a complete and total lie because my pharmacist said they are the only ones the compound it in this town and he hasn’t had one prescription for it from him, can you imagine, this doctor really must think I’m stupid....grrrr! anyway, as usual I digress.. Do whatever it takes to make you happy, I know that’s difficult and can be limiting as far as finding work. make a visual/dream board of something that you would love to do thats your passion, and don’t listen to anybody else’s opinion that’s negative. for some reason a lot of people have problems with other peoples growth. Things really do come to fruition when making those boards. i’m sending positive thoughts your way ...You’re truly not alone ... this is a very frail/fraying/ frustrating time in our lives 😉 also I think this is much worse when there is unfinished business in our lives or things that we really need to tend to emotionally ....XO

  • Posted

    I agree with Lisa above. If you can, use this time to move on to something you love that is not so stressful. I ran a daycare in my home for 22 years, and while I was doing it, once in a while I would wonder what else I could do instead, but never pursued it because I was too afraid to step out and take a chance. Well, peri menopause fixed that for me, lol. My anxiety (which I never found to be much of an issue before peri) got out of control because of a daycare parent who kept criticizing me without grounds. Even though I knew I was doing my job properly, that woman's voice got in my head and I couldn't get it out. She would question little things like if I had applied sunscreen before going outside, which of course I did, but just knowing that she was questioning my honesty was too much for my brain to handle. Then I started thinking of the consequences of making an honest mistake, not just with her but with this new generation of millenials who I find take things a little more seriously than we do, such as eating organic, vegan, not believing even in non-corporal discipline with children, I started realizing how vulnerable I could be to unwarranted criminal charges with the right person. It was then I realized that I just couldn't do it anymore. I spent hours crying over it, but decided to take a leap of faith and invest in myself. I can't even believe how events took place to bring me to my present occupation, running my own furniture painting business, which led to me also making wood crafts and taking them to craft shows. I learned to use power tools, watched tons of videos on different modern painting techniques, and learned on the go. I still have the anxiety, but controlling my stressors has made a huge difference in my mental health.

    Edell, I really hope you can find a way to navigate your career into something that will make you happier. Don't be afraid to bet on yourself! If you have made it this many years in retail, you have skills and abilities that can be useful in so many different opportunities! Believe in yourself girl. Follow your passion and the money will follow!

  • Posted

    LISA4444.....What an amazing story...PROPS TO YOU! That is really an inspirational story and wonderful of you to share. That complaining parent did you a favor 😃 it’s amazing how stories like yours and what happen, how it steers us in great directions. Have a great week ! xo

    • Posted

      Thanks Lisa! I just said the other day that I have been able to let the hard feelings go toward that mother because she was the catalyst to me finding my passion! How can you stay mad when you see it from that angle?

  • Posted

    LISA4444.....What an amazing story...PROPS TO YOU! That is really an inspirational story and wonderful of you to share. That complaining parent did you a favor 😃 it’s amazing how stories like yours and what happen, how it steers us in great directions. Have a great week ! xo

  • Posted

    Hi Edell,

    I feel just like you! I know my job was always stressful and I have always worked with jerks; but during peri it has become unbearable. I like to think of peri as a time when I am raising my standards of how I will let people treat me and the energy I will allow into my life. I say "I'm not getting older, I'm getting fancier."

    For you with retail, that is really hard! Who knows who's coming through the door? What corporate will demand of you for conversion rates, promotions, and sales goals? Each day must feel like a moving target.

    It may be a time to take an inventory as Lisa and Juanita suggested. What would your ideal work day look like? You have a long history in retail and sales, so maybe something that makes less stressful use of your skill set? Or something else entirely? What did you dream of being when you were a kid? Maybe your frustration and rage are a sign that other goals are emerging for you?

    I read about working with horrible people and how to manage my energy instead of my available time. There is a Greatist article called "What to do when your job is seriously stressing you out" that has some solid suggestions. One of them is letting go of the invincibility myth. I bet you are very good at your job and carrying some other, let's say "lower achieving" people as well. The article says we need to own that we can burn out, get sick and be vulnerable. That is the human experience.

    Allow yourself to be human. Even if customers and corporate will not. That takes tremendous courage. But your first obligations are to yourself, your health and your mental well being.

    We are here for you and love you!

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