have been on this drug for many years

HI Karen,

I just posted on how it feels to come off Cit. Here's my post again:

Hi everyone. Thought I'd put in my two cents worth about coming off citalopram.

Brief history....unstable childhood (2 divorces, stepmother from hell, abuse)....wasn't until 4 years ago when a loved one died that I truly grasped the concept of depression.....but since then I've been prone to low moods, low self-esteem, made worse by a lot of supressed anger and bad stuff from childhood. 

Earlier this year (May) I went to a psych and I was really looking for a quick fix for the depression because I had to resign myself to tying myself down to a city I hate and a job I was very wary about for one year to get some financial stability again. Doc prescribed citalopram, beta blockers and benzos. 

Around the beginning of September, I realised that the more benzos I tooked, the more I was hooked. Also felt the citalopram only helping mildly, but not to say not at all. I also had a major family crisis and work was getting on my nerves, so I really felt these meds weren't worth it.

Anyway, 2 weeks ago I decided to come off cold turkey from all (my shrink was in another country and unresponsive to emails so I wasn't sure of my course of action)......since then.....can't remember feeling so low, agitated, overemotional, intolerant to heat, other people etc......numerous breakdowns, anger fits, massive fights with my girlfriend, irritable with my poor innocent cats, and yes.....a suicide attempt. Failed obviously :-) My self-esteem is low as it is, and I suddenly felt the hopelessness of it all last weekend when I was at a friend's house and was the only person in the room who no-one was talking to.....I used to take a lot of ecstasy and MDMA and speed at the end of last year, and this feels like a more prolonged comedown from those (extreme emotional fluctuations, crying at the drop of a hat - or in my case the drop of a beat when I listen to music).

I still feel like crap, although I'm slowly getting my sexual desire back (which helps me sleep at least!), and am taking protein shakes to focus myself on my gym efforts more. I've started seeing a pyschotherapist here so hopefully that helps, but not sure how long this will last. I do have a spate of holidays coming up in a month, so I'm sure my coping mechanisms will be better around then, but I feel it might be a long road. Bottom line is I don't want to get back on citalopram or benzos on a regular basis again.

Anyway I hope this at least helps someone to relate the kind of hell it is coming off meds.....I'm going to focus on getting healed through psychotherapy, yoga, and will look into things like mindfulness.....

If I wasn't irritable, had low self-esteem and fluctuating moods before, coming off Cit has made it even more pronounced!

I emailed the psychiatrist and he said to 'Please restart Citalopram' which I know is not the cure because I don't want to have chemical dependence anymore. I'm also seeing a psychotherapist locally, so hopefully she gives me some coping mechanisms. 

Unfortunately I think just bearing it while it passes is the biggest coping mechanism. Not fun, but I wish you strength in your battle. 

karen my advice is to come of them slowly i have went cold turkey not the way to go in my third week side affects horrendous but they are slowly subsiding i was doing it slowly but got fed up so styopped altogether  doctor nshould advice this to you good luck and hope you feel better soon xxx

and ksren see if your doctor can put youin touch with apsychologist while coming of them hears that helps as well good luck again xxx

 

Hi Karen,  I'm also on cit. and klonopin.  i cant get rid of depression or anxiety.  I've been reading alot about klonopin is a depressant and supresses feelings.  I am slowly weaning off 2mgs of klonopin.  i hope its the answer. Its been too long and i want my life back.  Has anyone heard this about  klonopin.