Have herpes, unprotected sex

For one thing, herpes isn't necessarily crazy bad. Only for a really small percent of the population.  Here in the forum, you'll find 3 kinds of people/situations 1) those who have terrible OBs and are here searching for help and relief 2) newly infected who are scared and not sure what to expect and may feel dirty/damaged by their infeuction 3) those who know they have minimal symptoms or have found some treatments of relief and want to share it with others who are new or struggling. 

I have HSV2 . I had first OB in oct 2016.  It was painful and scary and I felt like my life and any chance of finding a happy relationship was over.  I've technically had 3 OBs since then, plus 2 oral (a blister or 2 inside my cheek). There's a chance like 80% the population, I had the oral before and never even knew or thought much of the symptom.  I've never had a lip cold sore in my life only inside my left cheek in last year. 

I was with my boyfriend having sex nearly daily for 8mos before contracting it from him and he wasn't on suppressive meds (like valtrex).  Suppressive meds reduce transmission.  

I'd say you have little to worry about.    If you use protection, yiu reduce your risk by an additional 30%. 

If you want to be sure you don't contract, wait 6mos for incubation, then go get an igg blood test. Without symptoms though, I wouldn't bother.  Also, if the strain she has happens to be hsv1, transmission risk is lower than strain 2. 

I'm so sorry you're going through this!  I was there too, I felt the same way and know how you feel.  I promise, it will pass!  It's scary and after the first OB the virus gets weaker and the OBs get weaker too.  Your second one now might be just as bad as first because not much time has passed. I had my second quick after first too and don't think it was really any better except I didn't discharge like a waterfall or have hip and leg aches like I did the few days before first OB.  

How painful is it?  Would you like some tips for pain relief?  

Far as your boyfriend goes, i understand how scared you are to tell him.    To help how to advise yiu, can I ask how long you've been together and if you think you may have gotten it from him?     

Don't worry, you'll get through it and life won't change much, you got this!  

My second jus started to affect me this week right after my period is finish, it burning now when I urinate n I am so uncomfortable at this moment. My boyfriend n I are together for almost one year. I'm really scared to tell him thou n he is the only person I have. It's getting to me now cuz its like I don't even want to be near him now cuz of how I'm feeling. Everyday n I wake up n don't know what to do.

Thank u I going to try to tell him by this week thou cuz I'm really getting uncomfortable and frustrated.I jus hope this doesn't affect our relationship that's what's getting to me.

I don't know if you told your boyfriend as yet,but I think before telling him you have to evaluate yourself to know if you stepped out your relationship to contract the virus. Then you have to try your best to figure out if you contacted it from him, so that can give you the sense of approach to be able to let him know your have discomfort..so you don't get a negative reaction..because it's not everyone that is understanding and mature..

No I haven't told him as yet n he is the only person I've been with but I jus really don't know how to tell him.

Hi! How's it going over there?  

If you're still in pain, try drinking more water, this dilutes the urine so it burns less. Another thing that can work is pouring water over the burning area when you pee so it minimizes urine contact with the sores.   Orajel (yep the stuff made for mouth pain relief found in pharmacies or medical section in grocery store) helps too. Apply it to the stores. It numbs a little so helps with the pain. 

Tell your boyfriend. Tell him you really care about him and that's why you need to tell him something. Say something like - so, I was feeling kind of weird in my crotch, not like I've ever felt before and I had these bumps so I went to the doctor and they said I have herpes.   I haven't been win the anyone else and I really care about you. 

Good luck let us know how it goes were here for you!

Hey I'm not feeling no pain. When I pee it jus burn really bad. I'm going through my second outbreak nw I didn't get to go to my doctor cuz he was close for the holiday but I'm jus uncomfortable. But I really appreciate the advice cuz I still haven't told my bf cuz I don't know how to tell him r what to say to him but ur message held me to build more confident to tell him. I'm going to let him know by this week thou.

Glad to hear things are looking better.   I would also advise to come to the convo with your BF with info like the fact that 80 percent of ppl who have it don't have symptoms ever not even an initial outbreak.   And that most people who contract it get it from somebody who doesn't even know they have it.  There's tons of info online that might be helpful to both of you to feel secure, not feel damaged or otherwise negative.   And if in early stages of finding out, it's common to feel all those things too!  So know I'm not saying anything bad if you do or did feel that way and know that it passes!  Just be strong you will get through this fine!

Thanks so much for the advice u wouldn't know helpful u were n let me not feel the way I was feeling. I always do my research thou from the day I found out I have it. Honestly I really do appreciate the advice and I'm very thankful that I have someone that understand what I'm going through and let me know that I'm not alone in the process of my life.

That's so great to hear. I hope things are still going well.  I am sometimes more worried about younger people being afraid of it and not seeing past it. May I ask how old he is?    Every time I hear a good story like this, Makes me even more hopeful that if I'm ever single again, I will be accepted too.   My relationship is pretty rocky, unrelated to the herpes. 

He is 34, we are doing quite fine but sometimes I feel away cuz I keep thinking about it. But we both are doing ok so far. The one thing I really fear is if he leave I don't think no one else will under me.

Oh, he's 2 yrs younger than me.  Maybe a funny thing but I was hoping he was closer to your age and would sort of disprove my thought that younger people might be more fearful and less accepting of it.    Just don't ever let yourself feel like you need to stay with him just because this. I read so much in so many places about how surprised people are that their partner or date wasn't even phased when they were told.   

When I found out, I was devestated because I had just made the biggest mistake of my life and had a 2 month affair and then told my boyfriend of 16 years that I'm leaving.  We had had a troubled relationship and I was so torn in my feelings for the two men.  I felt like our relationship was finally beginning to work out long heald problems, but I had been swept off my feet with charm by someone else.  I was devestated because me and the new guy turned out to not be a good match.  He has become controlling, aggressive, violent, manipulative, has in rage destroyed our home breaking furniture dishes kitchen cabinets chairs etc and I fear I'm next.   I'm in the process of leaving now, after 1.5 yrs of trying to work it out.  Wish me luck. 

I can't be afraid no one else will want me, or any of the bigger reasons I've had a hard time leaving.   Wish me luck and love in my next relationship. 

Hi, I always try to date someone in my she group but it never seem to work out, n I like someone that is older than me. I always think my situation was bad but there is always someone facing worst than me. Sometimes its jus best to stay by urself n jus heal before thinking of going in another relationship, jus do what's right n do what makes you feel comfortable. I hope everything work out.