Have herpes, unprotected sex

Unfortunately, it's very possible that you've passed it on. Though men are asymptotic a lot of times and don't even know they have/carry it. You can pass it on very easily from even grinding each other pubis to pubis. The only way to be certain is for him take an antigen specific blood test or the Western Blot test. I'm sorry that happened. But you could've just passed a disease for life bc you were too caught up in the moment to mention it. I'm not bashing you, but please consider the health of other people in the future.

Even if I've been on antiviral since my diagnosis? And I haven't had any signs or sores on me! I read it's less likely for women to transmit it to men and less likely if you don't have any sores present and that if you've been on antivirals.

It's still very possible to spread Herpes 2 even between outbreaks and even on anti virals. You may get "lucky" and not pass it on w condoms. But one of the main ways it's passed is skin to skin, so grinding is jst as dangerous with or without a condom. I'll send you a link. I'm not a doctor, but probably a 50/50 shot that you'd pass it on with condoms, anti virals and no open sores.

In studies of transmission of Genital Herpes in couples, the annual risk of transmission averaged 5 to 10% per year for those abstaining from sex during outbreaks. The risk of acquisition was much higher (16.9%) for women, but somewhat lower for those who already had HSV-1. There is some evidence that people who have HSV-1 are more resistant to the HSV-2. This should not be interpreted as immunity but rather as a higher resistance factor. The transmission rate was also lower for those who used condoms. The greater risk of acquisition for women may be due partly to anatomy, and partly because, generally, men tend to have more frequent outbreaks, while women tend to have more severe outbreaks. More frequent outbreaks means more times there is virus on the surface of the skin, and hence a greater the risk of transmission.

I read somewhere that condoms provide about 30% protection.

I've also read and it makes sense to me that if your infection is new (it is), you haven't built antibodies yet and so the virus runs rampant and has a higher shed rate than older infections.

Also to take into consideration, Hsv infection often doesn't produce antibodies until about 12 weeks and wouldn't be detectable by blood test until that time. If he If he has an outbreak (watch for blisters, itchy or rashly skin), he can have that area scraped for a culture test, even before antibodies are produced. Also to consider for blood test - if he tests positive before 12 weeks, it's very possible he already contracted the virus before you (only one encounter) and was asymptomatic so didn't know. 80% of those infected are asymptomatic.

1 in 4 Americans have GH. 80% of those carying it truly don't know, since they're asymptomatic or symptoms are so mild they're blown off as a clothing abrasion, sweat pimples, shaving bumps etc.

So, I conclude depending on your number of other partners and how often you had sex (there's times it's more contagious than others) and whether either of you showered before or after, you may have already been exposed in the past.

Also, to know if his ex had HSV1 or HSV2 would be reassuring since HSV 1 is less transmissible if the carrier has it genitally (HSV1 is more transmissible if the carrier has it orally - cold sores and is transmitted thru oral sex) 1 or 2 can both occur genitally.

One thing you don't mention is if you used a condom. A condom provides an estimated 30% protection. Pretty low, considering above 90% protection for AIDS, but still helpful for herpes too.

I would say don't worry too much about getting tested unless you get symptoms. Herpes doesn't cause reproductive problems or anything like other STI's can. There is some small (and very manageable) risk of passing it to a baby through child birth.

That's not right. He doesn't seem like a good guy he needs to educate himself on the diease if he's going to get involved with someone that has it. Let him know he can still have sex with you and not get herpes. Just wear condoms and take your meds if you do both his chances of getting it are very small.

They say the newer the infection, generally the more contaigous the person is, as the body strengthens against the virus in the first couple years after infection.

Do you have variety 1 or 2 ? You find out with a swab test of blisters at the Dr office. Make the apoontment as soon as the blisters develop.

A month unprotected isn't long at all to test transmission. I'm not sure where I contracted HSV2 (herpes variety 2) but I was mongamous for 16 yrs and neither us ever saw sign of herpes, then I was in a monogamous relationship for 8 mos and had my initial OB... Fever, headache, left leg nerve pain, watery vag discharge and 5 weeks of blisters... The whole shebang. Then about 4 weeks after begining of mine, my boyfriend (monogamous w/me for 8mos unprotected) had his first ever OB. ..... So who gave it to who...? Did it lay dormant and unknown in me 16 years and then I infected my new boyfriend 8mos into our unprotected relationship?

Was going to say more but ran out of time!

So... You say he refuses to have sex with you for fear of getting something... Did he say this is why, or is he just taking longer than some guys and you're worried that's why? Either is ok! Either he just cares about his health and wants to be sure the relationship will last at least a while before risking contracting something, or maybe he just always takes things slow... I was in a relationship with a guy for 18 years who refused to have sex with me for 5 mos until I was 17.If you haven't already, I suggest getting a full STI check, both for your health and also to demonstrate responsibility to the guy and also assure him there isn't another STI you don't know you're carrying.

As far as feeling gross, he likes you enough to wait to have sex with you until he knows you better, and you him! This is a good sign he likes you (instead of moving on to someone else) and also good sign of his character! Taking time to know him is good responsible sign for your character to him too! If he didn't REALLY like you, he would just move on to someone else (possibly carrying a sti too but unaware or just not confiding it).