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Have I backed myself into a corner?

Posted , 3 users are following.

kate86510
kate86510

i am 53 the middle of 3 siblings. Due to various reasons I have not travelled on my own for about 7 years. At the beginning of the year I told my 80 year old mum I would take the 7 hour journey on the train to her. We had discussed when and what we would do for 4 days.

As she has now decided to put her house on the market, my brother and his husband are coming over at the same time so we can all set too and start helping mum.

now instead of thinking I'd about be able to take this trip I'm left feeling stupid and hope. I told my mum today I felt very uncomfortable about it, she told me we would talk about it tomorrow as I wasn't in the right mood to talk to her today.

im left thinking I bet I'll say yes to keep the piece and feel woseningly Carnap as the days tick by.

i could of course say no and explain why but then the guilt would be huge and my siblings wouldn't leave me alone and my mother would stop communicating.

what am I supposed to do. My head is whizzing over this my mood has dropped like a stone. And all my anxieties are back.

i would really appreciate any thoughts or ideas.

kate

2 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • borderriever
    borderriever kate86510

    Posted

    Kate

    Many mental health suffers suffer from a fear of going outside are making a journey. This becomes a real problem if you have to make that journey and people expect you to be able to control your fears and arrive in a level mood.

    You could try and find someone who will take you, I gather you are unable to drive and this will not be helping you to beat your fears

    Can your Brother pick you up or is the distance between home and Mam to far to pick you up ?.

    I do not know the history of your condition, Have you had any assistance with your fear of travel ?.

    You could look at the journey as a holiday and an excuse to meet family members, you will also be able to see your Mam, because it has been a long time, seven years since you last saw her and had a chat.

    What are your reasons that are stopping your visit, if you do not go does the house have chilhood memories that will bring out the need to see the house before it is sold ? 

    Look to the positive reasons and not negative concerns you seem to have. You could have a talk to your GP, He/She may be able to give you some form of encouragement.

    Remember as well, sometimes we have to do things we do not want to do, that is part of being an adult, we are pushed into things we do not wish to do, that is part of life and having a family. Most probably when you get there you will enjoy all the interaction between siblings and Mam

    You could try BREATHING EXERCISES, or RELAXATION TECHNIQUES, MINDFULNESS works well for fear and anxiety, there are publications regards above and your GP may help as well.

    BOB

    • kate86510
      kate86510 borderriever

      Posted

      Hi Bob, thank you so much for your reply.youve given me loads to think about some of which challenges me which is not a bad idea!

      my brother lives abroad and has already booked flights.

      inhavent spoken to anyone about travel and my gp is a star, so I'll phone up and see her.

      youve reminded me of DBT skills I can use for this, again than you.

      im off to write a pros and cons list!

      Kate

       

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