Have I got an eating disorder?please help...

Posted , 4 users are following.

I hate my weight so much, I see my self as fat when others see me as skinny but I don't, I lie when they say how skinny I am of say how am I so skinny I just laugh but inside I feel different, I feel massive, they don't no what goes on inside my mind so when someone says a fat joke to me like I'll be fat i die inside, it's slowly killing me inside, effecting my mind a lot! The last 3 weeks I have been eating some days a lot but not loads and other day not as much. Before I would cut my calories down to under 900 but I can't seem to get back in to the dieting mood, today I didn't eat until half 4 as I had my tea then a big bag of m&ms I hated myself after eating it and tried to make my self sick which didn't work so I did a bit of exercise, as I do a little bit after I eat food. It's mot all of it just the past couple weeks it's mentally killing me all day every day is weight and food,I'm terrified of going on the scale as I have eaten. It won't stop. People think I have an eating disorder but after eating so much I don't think I do, do I?

2 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • Posted

    Hello Megan,

    Sounds like you are going thru a rough patch at the moment sad Sad to hear, always here to support you, to me it sounds like it might be worth going to see a diatition or health advisor about the eating issues, but then on the other side of the way you feel inside about your weight I would think having a chat with either a Counciler or a Cycriatric Suport Worker.


    Martin Pitchford

  • Posted

    Hi Megan.

    I'll write a brief post now, but revisit this later in the week (in the meantime, please check some of my other responses as the same advice applies).

    I'm sorry to hear you are struggling. It's great that you've accepted you have a problem, and I noticed you've mentioned that you have "binged", which is helpful that you have accepted this, because it means you can tackle it a lot more easily.

    Some clear steps you can take:

    1) Speak to your GP and seek a referral. This can take time, and it may feel difficult. When you do this, I would advise booking a double appointment and maybe taking someone with you / writing down what you want to say.

    A referral would usually be for therapy, but depending on your area, there are options for group support, dietitic support etc.

    2) Get your family and friends on board.

    It sounds horrible, but the sooner they are supporting you the better. It's tough at first, but they are so important in helping you. Particularly in motivating you on tough days.

    3) Join the Big White Wall where you can access free support through art therapy, and online courses, as well as a 24/7 monitored network.

    4) Start making a food and mood diary, which will help you to track your triggers, behaviours and how to problem solve these (ultimately).

    There was two things I quickly wanted to address. 

    1) Weight fluctuates over a month by 1-3kg. So you may have weighed yourself on one day, and then on another it has increased or decreased by quite a significant amount. Actually, you probably haven't lost/gained much, but it will just mean you've emptied your bowels more / held onto more fluid.

    I retain fluid more when menstruating, so on the scales it increases by about 3kg. When my period is over, it drops down again.

    In order to gain 1kg of WEIGHT, actual mass, you would need to consume 21000 calories over 1 week.

    2) You mentioned your "binge". A binge is generally referred to as eating 3000 calories or more in one sitting. I have often disputed that, as people do have smaller volumes of food that are emotionally fuelled.

    The reason for your "binge" is because your body is craving energy. This can be rectified by giving your body a regular source of energy throughout the day. Looking at your comment below it sounds like you are eating irregularly (thus affecting your moods) and therefore depleting your body of vital energy sources.

    Think about what happens when you hold your breath for ages. You can't forever, because your brain starts kicking everything back in, and you start breathing very fast to over compensate.  We need both oxygen and sugar for survival and the same thing happens with the sugar. If we restrict the sugar, our brains operate in the same way kicking our systems into place to overcompensate for the most energy dense foods. This is why people binge on cheese, chocolate, chips, toast etc. (note it doesn't have to just be m'ms, anything which is highly energy concentrated would work).

    In the same way as breathing regularly doesn't lead to your shortness of breath, eating carbohydrates regularly leads to a prevention of binges. We should aim to eat every 4 hours.

    Breakfast is essential and actually keeps your weight low.

    I hope this helps, I am happy to post more, but I need to get some rest tonight.

    Keep positive and remember getting help early helps in the long run!

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