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I hate my weight so much, I see my self as fat when others see me as skinny but I don't, I lie when they say how skinny I am of say how am I so skinny I just laugh but inside I feel different, I feel massive, they don't no what goes on inside my mind so when someone says a fat joke to me like I'll be fat i die inside, it's slowly killing me inside, effecting my mind a lot! The last 3 weeks I have been eating some days a lot but not loads and other day not as much. Before I would cut my calories down to under 900 but I can't seem to get back in to the dieting mood, today I didn't eat until half 4 as I had my tea then a big bag of m&ms I hated myself after eating it and tried to make my self sick which didn't work so I did a bit of exercise, as I do a little bit after I eat food. It's mot all of it just the past couple weeks it's mentally killing me all day every day is weight and food,I'm terrified of going on the scale as I have eaten. It won't stop. People think I have an eating disorder but after eating so much I don't think I do, do I?
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