Have i got the strength to go through separation?

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hi, i have written a lot here recently, about my depression and relationship worries!

 Last night huge row, which i feel i haven't got the energy for anymore! We both agreed to put house on the market and go our separate ways!

 However i understand this is all going to be so stressful and will i be able to cope with it all! When i'm not depressed i am strong and determined! When i'm depressed, i have no energy and no fight in me! Husband and daughter don't believe in depression, and call me lazy etc!

i am going to citizens advice next week to get some advice as to how to take it from here! I'm lying here on my bed and i don't have strength or energy to sort anything out!!!

1 like, 15 replies

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15 Replies

  • Posted

    Have you had any medical help?
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  • Posted

    Hi Welsh girl.

    I have been in the same situation...or more accurate I'm in the same position. I had to leave my relationship due to feeling penned in, home didn't feel like a 'safe' environment. I left and when I'm depressed it's like why bother but you need to look at the bigger picture...its hard at the best of times but when we are suffering from the big "D" and the people we count on for support don't believe us then it's like a void opens up.

    My advice. Talk about it before doing anything drastic especially if things were said in a heated environment. If you still feel the same then move on. For me and those that know my story on here I was repeating the same thing and it was a cycle so something needed to give. For me it's been the best thing but you need to talk in a calm atmosphere

    Sorry for rambling lol hope it helps x

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  • Posted

    YES!

    We all have the strength to do whats best for us! For you it does sound like leaving would be the right choice! Please make sure you talk to your doctor before making this huge chance tho as once done it is very hard to go back as I am finding out!!

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    • Posted

      Also have you heard of the Fallout forum? 

      A lady on here put me onto it< it has lot"s of people feeling nothing and mistaking the depression for not loving there partners anymore.

      it"s really helped me to know that everything i am feeling.......numb, not wanting a relationship, hopeless etc etc others have felt too and to know that some have got back together and been great together!

      after 3 months away, i know now that we work together so i:m willing to try to work on finding out who we are again and see where it takes is and she knows that i do have low periods every so often so when she thinks one is coming i've told her to try to get me to talk......talking is easier now we are not livng together as weird as that sounds but im trying to talk this way so i can then talk to her face eventually although i have trouble explaining it="" has="" lot"s="" of="" people="" feeling="" nothing="" and="" mistaking="" the="" depression="" for="" not="" loving="" there="" partners="" anymore.="" it"s="" really="" helped="" me="" to="" know="" that="" everything="" i="" am="" feeling.......numb,="" not="" wanting="" a="" relationship,="" hopeless="" etc="" etc="" others="" have="" felt="" too="" and="" to="" know="" that="" some="" have="" got="" back="" together="" and="" been="" great="" together!="" after="" 3="" months="" away,="" i="" know="" now="" that="" we="" work="" together="" so="" i:m="" willing="" to="" try="" to="" work="" on="" finding="" out="" who="" we="" are="" again="" and="" see="" where="" it="" takes="" is="" and="" she="" knows="" that="" i="" do="" have="" low="" periods="" every="" so="" often="" so="" when="" she="" thinks="" one="" is="" coming="" i've="" told="" her="" to="" try="" to="" get="" me="" to="" talk......talking="" is="" easier="" now="" we="" are="" not="" livng="" together="" as="" weird="" as="" that="" sounds="" but="" im="" trying="" to="" talk="" this="" way="" so="" i="" can="" then="" talk="" to="" her="" face="" eventually="" although="" i="" have="" trouble="">

      it"s really helped me to know that everything i am feeling.......numb, not wanting a relationship, hopeless etc etc others have felt too and to know that some have got back together and been great together!

      after 3 months away, i know now that we work together so i:m willing to try to work on finding out who we are again and see where it takes is and she knows that i do have low periods every so often so when she thinks one is coming i've told her to try to get me to talk......talking is easier now we are not livng together as weird as that sounds but im trying to talk this way so i can then talk to her face eventually although i have trouble explaining>

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    • Posted

      No I haven't but thank.....I have actually found being on here has helped....I feel much better in myself....I have stopped my tablets.....yes I'm fully aware I shouldn't have its been 3 weeks now. I actually have a better relationship with my ex now than I did before....its easy to give advice and hard to take it but for me I gave done the right thing for me.....all my life it's been put others 1st.....now it's my turn.....x
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    • Posted

      Hay Matt glad I"m not the only one up so late lol

      What were you on? Did the doctor advice to come off?

      I have been on mine coming up 3 years now and find they do help.....A little anyway lol i still get the odd day where I think whats the point in taking them when I feel the same but I didn't like who I was before them......I don"t want to be on them forever tho!!

      I"m glad you have a better relationship now, how is it better if you don"t mind me asking.....do you think it's because your no longer there, or because your off the tablets?

      Are you working on you two? sorry for all the questions I"m a nosy bugger as you'll find out bt I like to hear everyones stories

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    • Posted

      As for  the other site< you="" should="" def="" check="" it="" out="" this="" and="" there="" have="" beenfantastic="" for="" me="" and="" trying="" to="" work="" on="" me!="" totally="" get="" about="" putting="" you="" first="" for="">< i think as men we all seem to do that.....thats what i mean about finding me again

        i="" think="" as="" men="" we="" all="" seem="" to="" do="" that.....thats="" what="" i="" mean="" about="" finding="" me="" again="">

       >

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    • Posted

      Thought I sent a reply....oh well....I'm Setraline 100mg (can't remember the spelling) it's way to early....I don't sleep much anymore. I was on them for a year with no change...I'm not stating on polls.

      I left with 2 goals in mind. 1 that I would stop taking them to see if I felt better. I do. And 2 if I didn't then I would go back and see my doc.

      She has been good, she says she understands but she can't. If/when I try to talk she just makes it sound so trivial....it drives me mad. She's like take time, we can date and start again but I don't think she yet fully understands or is reluctant to

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    • Posted

      Yeah I get that, it is hard for those that don't have the same feelings as us, they sometimes make it feel like everything your feeling is almost made up and they think you should "snap out of it" and be you again!

      I think if they are trying to understand tho it's a step in the right direction and I try to show her the same understanding as she shows me after all I've never been where she is in all this and she's never been where I am so there needs to be a bit of give and take somewhere.

      Keep talking to her tho, if she's still willing to listen let her just try and keep calm when she does make things seem trivial ......as much as they are trying to help us we have to try and help them to I suppose.

      Now that your off do you still feel numb, empty void of all feelings..even if you do feel better in yourself?  Are you still see a doctor or anyone?

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  • Posted

    I admire you all! I had the strength to leave. Got my own place and it was just me and my boys. Then I began taking Latuda and didn't realize it at first that it was causing bad anxiety. Then the doctor upped the dosage and I began to feel like I was going to die. I was afraid to be alone. Began to believe I was going to die and my sons needed their father. I had also stopped talking to someone so dear to me and it was all so devastating. I thought I was dying. I agreed to go back with my ex. Now I'm off the meds and no longer have the terrifying anxiety and don't want to get back with my ex. I already told the boys and him. I'm so depressed I spent three days in bed with no food. Everyone is so happy we are getting back together except me. I'm going to die alone and sad because I don't have the fight in me anymore. Who have I become? This has got to be a bad dream!
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    • Posted

      Hey JbM2.....so not writing your full handle everytime haha.

      I know the expectations from everyone can make you feel like there is no escape, you feel penned in and that the easiest way is to to just go with them....but my advice...and it is only advice....start by telling your friends and loved ones that your not getting back together....otherwise it's gonna build up and you will pop...you need to nip that in the bud....it may hurt people now buy better now than later especially with children.....I admire the fact you left...alot of people say that the big "D" makes you feel you should leave but that has to be your/our call. Here for support friend.

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    • Posted

      Hi Matt! Thanks for replying! I've made such a huge mistake! I don't want to go back. It's making me so depressed! I haven't showered in three days. I'm not hungry and I just want to cry. The anxiety of it all is too much! I do feel penned in and I can't breath. It's a mistake because I know I don't love him! This all happened because of that darn medication! I had never been so scared an anxious. The thought I would die any moment was so real I broke down on the phone. He asked if I wanted to get back and me feeling that horrible fear, I said yes. All I want to do is sleep and not get out of bed. I told my sons I was sick so they wouldn't question me. I fed them and made sure they were okay and got back in bed. He is over today so I had to get up and go shopping but I'm feeling numb and sad. What have I done? I wasn't depressed when I left. I am going to college to become a therapist. I wanted to help people but now I don't even want to do that. I'm sorry I'm going on. I've no one to talk to. My anxiety and depression are making me feel like I can't fight anymore. I know you are right but I'm feeling so scared to tell him now. He is planning on moving back. We live in different states. This is all my fault as I told him I wanted him back.
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    • Posted

      Ok let's take this one step at a time.....1st off.....drag your butt outta bed and get in that shower....take 15 mins....full heat...this will unwind your muscles and do a bit of a much needed de - stress. You will feel soooooo much better trust me.....

      Today is about one step at at time....if needs be tell your ex not to come round, take today and focus on you...easier said than done.

      Next step....have breakfast even if it's just a slice of toast.....it won't taste of any thing but it will settle your stomach a bit

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