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Have I passed hsv2 onto my boyfriend? So worried!!

Posted , 4 users are following.

rebecca08326
rebecca08326

I was diagnosed with hsv2 on my bum cheek 3 years ago. I have a new partner, only been together couple of months. I have always been safe, using condoms and not having sexual contact during outbreak. I've only had 2 outbreaks in the past 3 years. My last outbreak, I waited until sores had healed before having intercourse. But 5 days after intercourse my partner has come down with bad flu symptoms. What are the chances he's contacted the infection? I know it is contagious even with no symptoms. Just wondering if it's possible he now has it? He has no sores, just bad flu symptoms. He did sleep with the window open the night before his symptoms started. I'm just so worried. This will ruin our relationship if he has, a friend of his told him to stay away from me as I have it. He didn't take to kindly to hearing that but I was honest and admitted it. I feel so dirty, and I don't know what I'd do if he has got it.

1 like, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • as666
    as666

    Posted

    As far as I know, it's always possible to pass on the virus even if you use condoms because it can float around anywhere near your genitals and not just in the vaginal passage. However, the chance of shedding the virus is pretty slim, I think you're only infectious 20% of the time when you have no visible sores. Flu symptoms can be a sign of anything (including flu!); don't worry. It sounds like you're being incredibly sensible and considerate of your sexual partners and doing everything you can to protect them so if he reacts badly please don't let it beat you down, it's just a sign that he's possibly not the right guy for you and you deserve someone who understands that it's NOT as big a deal as people think, it's actually pretty harmless. It's hard enough to adjust to having the virus let alone having to tell partners. It's tough, and you're brave. If he's worried he can get a blood test in a couple of months (by which time the test would show a true positive) but often men show no symptoms.

  • as666
    as666

    Posted

    Forgot to say, unless he has had a full STD screening (including a blood test for Herpes, which surprisingly isn't tested for in a routine screening- something that is probably to blame for a lot of the transmissions!), your partner could carry it himself without knowing. It is so often asymptomatic! I had no symptoms for three and a half years, and if I got it from my current boyfriend, he has NEVER had any symptoms. The approximated amount of people who carry it is 1 in 4, and 80% of them have no idea. Keep that in mind. You're not dirty.
  • lauren74052
    lauren74052

    Posted

    He probably doesn't have it. But who knows. You should talk to him about what you have smile

    But I understand how hard it is. I have been there. 10 years ago I got the virus and I was DEVESTATED! I was so innocent and never even had a cold sore in my life. Back then the information wasn't as available as it is now, and people just told me to forget about it , it isn't contagious when there are no sores etc etc. So I really really really really really regret not telling partners about it. I feel sick about it even today ! I have since then followed up with anyone who I may have exposed to it and they are all fine. Luckily! I am quite sure I have never passed it on to anyone?

    Do yourself a favour and tell him about it sooner rather than later. Otherwise like me, you may feel guilty for the rest of your life.

  • ambient
    ambient rebecca08326

    Posted

    I wondered what the outcome was? I hope you're ok? I also have HSV2 on my left buttock, never anywhere else! I often hope it means I don't shed that much genitally, so I wondered if your worries were just that? It was sush a shock as I thought it was just a huge bite! Then it kept coming back. I'm still coming to terms with it all x
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