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Following on from my last post asking about information on a home detox, I was admitted to a unit for or a 2 week detox. My liver function tests was far from the best - ALT - 250+ GGT 700+
I didn't feel I was ready to come out as I was still desperately craving alcohol. Truth is I wasn't. I am back drinking and taking co-codamol on a daily basis.
People say a relapse is when you start drinking again, but drinking worst then you was before. Although I am back drinking I am not drinking anywhere near what I previously was (I am currently drinking half a litre of vodka a day). Would this be classed as a relapse or just a slip? I think I may be back in denial stage?
I do feel like such a failure/discrase and embarrassment, to have a 2 week detox and relapse straight away is just beyond me. I feel such shame and like I have/am just wasting everyone's time. I have gone back to my old ways, isolating myself, self hate, self harm and just waking up not wanting to do this any more.
I don't want to live a life like this, I want to change I really do but I always end up relapsing and back to square one! I am due to attend groups again and have a few courses about the mind and how addiction works so I'm hoping these will help.
I don't really know why I posted this, I guess I could do with advice on if I have relapsed or its just a slip, I am in denial again, how to stop feeling the shame... I don't really know
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