Have nobody

I'm trouble to hear you say you can't call your family for help I def understand you pain I've been there and still there one thing I can tell you is holding feeling in don't help but tbh depending on level of depression getting feeling out don't bring much comfort either seems like your pain seems to come fromlacking love you desire I'm here with and ear 👂 if you need someone.Stay strong stay encouraged try to open up and be around positive energy it can bring a difference and a positive loving difference is what you need I believe.

hay hunny,

i really do feel for you, i have always never been close to my family, now i have kids, thats nice, but they grown up now teens and thats the time they really dont want to spend time with mum .

their are so many people that are lonley young and old, just know that its not only you, but its worse when you suffer with depression and or anxiety.

it maybe an idea to join some evening class, somthing you enjoy a little.

make some new friends, we are all here for you and care that you are ok xx

I can so much relate to you...i am 27,  soon will be 28. Love is something that even I have lacked all my life. I have never been in any relationship and that actually makes my matter worse. My family is also complicated and never really got the love i desired from them. I dont know what positive thing can I say to you but I can only pray for you that you come out from this loneliness and depression. It really is the worst thing, not being loved by the person you desire to be loved. worst than any physical ailment. Please make sure to let your feelings known because even I have this problem of not being able to express and that really keeps on filling you up to the point that can cause major distress. I am unable to cry and let my feelings out and that really gives me a lot of stress. If you feel like crying then dont hold it...just let it out. 

Bipolar 2 by the sound of it rapid cycling maybe not severe. My parents were useless. my mother spent most of my life trying to kill me, when I say that I mean shse was putting me down so much I could have ended up killing myself and it would have been her fault, I dont know what I think it was because I was like my father - they were divorced) and she hated him. he was totally out of my life, I accept parents can be lousy and when it comes to the crunch you are better off having nothing to do with them, and you have to tell yourself that and not get sentimental about needing parents because when we are grown up its possible to make a family of your own an say stick them about your parents. Psychs are the answer for you now or a therapist.. I think alot of parents are far from ideal, you just have to make your own life, you are 29, they should be background figures in your life now I think, my mother basically toldme to bum off when I was 22 and this being a very middle class family with snotty attitudes, I didnt fit, best gone. and I agree int he end it was best once i got over it. you dont need them if they are no good full stop.

 I find talking about it all really helps you know. a problem shared is a problem halved. let your feelings out cry if you like it seems for me to help I also always wrote down what I felt and wrote pages and pages to my psych.