Havent had a drink for six days, but may struggle over the weekend.

Oh I forgot...AWESOME ON NOT DRINKING 6 DAYS...its hard those first days.

Hi Misssy2,

Thanks for your reply, was nice to hear from someone. Do u still drink or have you managed to give it up? I have tried on so many occasions to stop, but I always find an excuse, like ive had a stressful day or I deserve it for working hard. Got thru last night ok but had to go to bed really early!

I am not drinking at this time.  I was in hospital again due to drinking about 3 weeks ago.

I quit for 8 years...then left a job...and then decided to have a "few"...have been in hospital about 5-7 times in the last 2 years due to drinking almost died at least 2x.

 

And keep going...don't drink over this weekend if you can help it.

If you manage the weekend...you will feel good phsically and proud emotionally.

Keep busy....eat....drink tasty fluids....pray....walk...yoga...

Anything but drink alcohol

I'm so sorry to hear that it has been so bad for you. What I can't figure out, is why does something so subtle creep up on us and before we know it, we don't drink for the taste but the numbing effect. I suppose I started drinking when I was a teenager to give me confidence. Hope u manage to beat this, I would do anything not to drink again.

Oh God so would I was early 20s 40 yrs ago. I go to sleep and wake in the night sweating and disgusted but never tell my husband.

Why is this sooo flipping hard.  I try and try.  Husband has no problem.  It is a boiling hot day here and I have sat in the garden reading, he has been working his socks off (he has his own Sign company) in the sun, he went out at 6.30am this morning and has just come back now at 4.30pm - he looks like a drowned rat with sweat but still has not finished.  Reckons he will finish about 7pm.  So I said I have put you some beers in the fridge for you and he said no thanks, don't think I'll bother tonight, I will have some iced water.  I just thought, jeez why can't I do that, I have done sweet nothing apart from shopping for an hour but I will have wine at wine o'clock which is 6ish. 

I will go to bed at 10ish all nice and calm and wake a few hours later with the usual sweat and totally angry and disgusted feeling.  Then at 7am we will both rise, me with a dull head and feeling woozy and him bright eyed and ready for his day.

I have just read Tess's post on  her hubby and his ascites, I apparently (as of a few months ago)  have not got any signs of it - yet.  But what will it take for it to sink in to me what I am doing (well I know, but am helpless with this disease).  I don't want to leave my hubs and die too soon, it will totally destroy him. He regards me as his mother as well as his wife.

These posts are so darn honest and scary.  I want a magic pill to make me hate the stuff.  I am looking into Mindfulness and living in the moment.  Affirrmations and such.  I have tried holding a piece of Amethyst crystal which is supposed to take away the urge.  I hold it, put it down, then go get a wine if it is after 6 - I need my money back!!!!

Thanks to anyone of you who have had the patience to read this post, just helps to put it in writing.

Keep trying peeps, something has to give.

Thanx again

G.

For most folks, the endorphins released by drinking causes an unconscious part of the brain to be programmed. That part remembers the pleasure from alcohol and remembers how to compel you to drink again. There's a med and a method of taking it that can erase that memory/compulsion, have a look:

https://patient.info/health/sinclair-method-for-alcohol-use-disorder

If you've tried quitting entirely and end up going back to drinking, then this could be a very good angle for you to check out.

I used it to overcome a 30+ year disorder of drinking daily. Now, booze just doesn't hold much interest for me. I don't have to fight it or resist at all. I'd just rather have a glass of water or some tea. 

Hi, sorry I didn't reply, all my messages had gone into spam! I'm still dry! Have started having a substitute of alcohol free beer, acts just like a dummy. It's so nice to have a decent weekend with no hangover and have a chart where I tick each day off. Have told myself that even if I have a red day, I haven't failed. Hubby drinking red wine, which I hate, so that helps as will. Also meditate for 20 mind a day! How are u bearing up?

I'm doing well becky...I attribute that to the new medication scheme I am on....Wellbutrin, Lorazepam, Gabapentin and Campral.

I am sleeping better...I am not panicking as much....

Very cool that you are not drinking....very cool that your hubby drinks something you hate...keep trying....life is so much better without a hangover...

Are those antidepressants? I'm on citalopram, been on them for two years, don't think I will ever want to come off.

Wellbutrin prescribed for depression instead of Citalopram that i was on for 8 years....and noticed I became very excitable, hyper, trouble sleeping and I had a reaction with Citalopram and another medication.  Since I have been on Wellbutrin I feel better.

Gabapentin presribed for pain.  Although, I notice when I take this dose...my ANXIETY is calmed down alot.

Campral prescribed for cravings for alcohol...this pill WORKS for me.  I have NO cravings to drink.

Lorazepam prescribed for anxiety....a Benzo.

Works for anxiety for about 1 hour....thats it.

Hi Gwen , sorry I didn't reply , but my messages had gone into spam! I'm still dry at the moment, hubby is drinking red wine, which I hate and I have found a substitute in alcohol free beer, which is a bit like a dummy for me. Also have a calendar which I mark off the days in green, a bad day would be red and I don't want to spoil the rows of green! ?? how are u doing fellow ex wine drinker?

Hi Becky - I'm doing flippin rubbish.  I have cut down so that makes my night a very long one as alcohol helps me sleep.  When I don't have enough I only sleep for 2 or 3 hours.  Rock and a hard place realy.

Thats a great idea in your calendar and coloured days.

You are well away - so chuffed for your. 

Think I'll go buy a calendar and crayons today - might spur me on.

Thanx for sharing

 

Hi Gwen , been out with my son today and actually started thinking that one glass of wine wouldn't hurt. Made me realise that maybe the first couple of weeks are easy, but when I start to feel better mentally and physically , I believe that I 'can handle it'. I'm worried that it's always going to be there like a nagging little demon ??. My son listens to relaxation therapy to sleep as he suffers depression same as me.

Becky...I have been plaqued with this demon forever.

You are someone who wants to stop totally it sounds like...so that Naltraxone/Nalmafene meds allow you to continue to drink...and causes moderation of drinking...

I take Campral...I have absolutely NO CRAVINGS.  That said...if I wanted to drink...I could and Campral does not affect any pleasure receptors in your brain...so I would still get the buzz I like from alcohol...but I REALLY don't want to drink for health and medical reasons...and Campral really makes sure I have NO DESIRE..

And I have been a raging alcoholic for the past 2 years....actually the past 30 years...but I had 8 years of sobriety and started drinking again 2 years ago.

You said previously that u we're 8 years sober and then started again after u left a job? Why do u think u started again and was it worse?

Hi Becks, I feel that even if I get clean, I know it will always haunt me - I enjoy it too much.  I can have two small glasses Monday to Thursday ok but ruin it Fri/Sat/Sun.  I suffer depression/anxiety/panic and I know alcohol makes that worse but it really lets me sleep.  A new head would be nice lol.

I started again because I thought after 8 years sober...I certainly wouldn't EVER be a full blown raging alcoholic AGAIN.

Well...that was not true...from the day I took that first drink after 8 years...the cravings and desires came back just as I had NEVER even stopped drinking.

Actually, I remember the first 2 weeks were ok....I drank that one time..and then said - hmmm not bad....I will drink next weekend...and after THAT...forget it.

And yes it GOT WORSE...I can not drink now without ending in hospital...because I WONT stop and I WONT eat....and my body just gets terribly sick....

Gosh, you are so honest.  Takes guts.  But 8 years is fantastic.

Hugs to ya

G.

I was told early in my sobriety that HONESTY is key....we have to be honest with ourselves and others...to be free of remorse and guilt.

I try and most times I am too honest.

Example:  I have applied for Federal Aid...they frown upon substance abuse of any kind.  Rightfully, because they don't want to pay people to not work, sit home and get loaded.

BUT, because alcoholism is a big problem for me...I listed that as one of my disabiling conditions on the application.  I did add the comment that I had been sober 8 years and my goal was to achieve sobriety now but the depression, anxiety, fear and pain keep bringing me back to the substance. 

So, now I have been in counseling HEAVY for 2 years....if they want those records to show I am trying...they can have them.