He turned on me so quickly

Posted , 3 users are following.

Just need to rant as I cannot understand what happened.

My ex and I split before Christmas but stayed close for a while, I attended hospital appointments with him and MRI scans, he confided in me about a lot of things he couldn’t/wouldn’t say to his family none of which I minded, I understood he wasn’t in a place for a relationship.

He was about to start therapy, I got a new job and we decided it was time to go our separate ways, fast forward 6 weeks and we end up back Intouch, he asked me to his for a coffee which I was a bit aprehensive about but he said it would be nice to clear the air and part in the best possible way so I went. I walked in to him on the phone arguing with someone from the council because he’s so far behind with his rent, partly his fault. He was making lunch for both of us which was a kind thought but I didn’t want it, he took offence to this and refused to eat his till I’d gone. Mostly the conversation was about him, he asked what I’d been up to so I mentioned work, twice more he asked the same question, but he said I’m asking what you’ve been up to not work, are you dating anyone? I told him it wasn’t any of his business, again he seemed to take offence. I said I wasn’t there for any of that , simply to part ways face to face as he suggested, he said don’t be daft I’ll be seeing you again soon, it was like he had took for granted I was back in his life but I made it clear the meet had been a bad idea and nothing had changed from my point of view he shot me a look I really don’t know how to describe. At that point I decided to get out of there but he asked me for a lift to his mums , I agreed as it was on my way, in the car he told me that his son wants to come and live with him next year, he asked what my opinion of it was, i didn’t comment as I personally don’t think It would be good for either of them. I don’t think my ex could cope with the pressure, because I stayed quiet he guessed my thoughts and became sour, saying I was so xxxxxxx negative and I cannot be happy for him, all the time I’m sat there thinking, your about to loose your home , so how could this happen, his flat is only a 1bed place so how could him and his son live there anyway. When we pulled up outside his mums he said it’s been great seeing you, I’ll see you again soon, I shook my head and said no , it wasn’t happening again, he kissed the top of my shoulder and got out the car saying get over your xxxxxxx self, I was gobsmacked , I really don’t understand what happened 

Since then he’s text to say anyone who put doubt about the relationship between him and his son isn’t getting his time of day, that all I did was see him to twist the knife in and he’s got enough xxxx to deal with, can anyone tell me what that was all about??

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi while I was reading your post I was thinking he was hoping you would get back together.  Many men in my experience don't seem to understand the concept of just being friends and most women want to.  They see this as the woman wanting to get back with them then blame you for giving them the wrong impression!  

    I think now though he is feeling bitter about the break up (despite what he says and does) and is looking for someone to blame - ie you.  He has to learn to take responsibility for his own behaviour and i think you are well rid and should now keep your distance.  No wanting to be friends or being nice otherwise you would be letting yourself in for more nasty comments.  Just write him off and move on with your life.  Don't fall for any sob stories.  x

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your thoughts 

      Ive always known about his depression, he had a bad spell at Christmas and that’s why we split but I felt he had no support from anyone that’s why I offered to be there as a friend, I honestly thought he was getting better but it seemed worse then ever that day, but I don’t think I deserve that treatment.

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    • Posted

      Maybe there is a reason why he has no support?  Maybe he treats others like he treated you?  If you want to be his verbal punchbag whilst he works his way through his depression that's obviously up to you!  To be honest no matter how sorry you feel for him you have to be prepared to take a lot of rubbish from him if you are determined to support him.  x

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  • Posted

    Huh a right little charmer he isn't! He needs to admit he's got problems and get help. I'd leave him to cool it completely, he's needs more than time. You can do better than that! Good luck finding someone decent who gives you the respect you deserve.

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  • Posted

    This gets more bizarre by the day, I got a text from his mum saying I’d upset him as I didn’t think it was a good idea his son moved here, the first time ever she’s got involved, I replied saying it was my opinion and I have a right to that but if she knew certain things that he had confided in me she would see I had a point, she said he tells her everything ( trust me he dosnt) and that it will be the best thing ever and I’m wrong, It took me all my time not to say, so where were you on hospital appointments, did you he tell you he’s been hearing voices, did you know about the rent owed, but I didn’t bite and I wouldn’t break his confidence, because I didn’t agree with her she told me it’s best I stay away, I said not to worry I will, to which she then told me not to be a stranger and I can knock on her door at anytime!!

    It must run in the family 

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