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Health anxiety and new depression

Posted , 7 users are following.

ScaredyCake
ScaredyCake

I'm going out of my mind worrying that I have cancer! One minute I'll think 'no way youve got cancer' then instantly the panic sets in that I have. I wake up worrying, I spend ALL DAY worrying, and I go to sleep worrying. I'm exhausted.

I have a swollen node in my groin and neck and one behind my ear. I'm literally driving myself mad!

Been to GP several times in tears, yesterday he finally said 'I really do t think there's anything to worry about. I wouldn't usually send someone for tests with this, but I can see how it's affecting you, so I will'. I'm not convinced he wasn't just saying that to calm me down?!

I had blood done yesterday(results tomorrow/Friday) just waiting for an apt for an ultrasound.

I'm taking citalopram(day 7) and I've never felt worse. I want this over. I want to feel normal again and enjoy my life, not just exist. I've lost weight because I just don't want to eat. I do t want to do anything!

0 likes, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • Tammy123
    Tammy123 ScaredyCake

    Posted

    I was like this when i was told i got an underactive thyroid which im taking meds for ive also been taking 10 mg citrilopram for 3 months the first weeks are hard because of side effects but it does get better but you have to let it get better and think anxiety is tricking is its hard i know because i still have anxious days here if you wanna chat
    • ScaredyCake
      ScaredyCake Tammy123

      Posted

      Thanks Tammy. I'm in bits. I just can't shake this fear! It's on my mind all the time. I can't eat or drink 😔

  • borderriever
    borderriever ScaredyCake

    Posted

    I have a fatty lump on the back on my neck, next to the spine, it has been there now for about twenty years. When I moved to our new address, I asked the GP about it as I had, had an appointment several times with my old GP He looked upon it as a fatty lump, whatever and said it would cause more problems taking it off or doing any tests. This Lump has never changed and my new GP admitted the same, my old GP did keep an eye on it, eventually I did not really give it much more thought. I am a Pensioner now, the lump is still there and it never changes.

    In your case your GP will every now an them mention it in a passing throwaway gesture. 

    You need to understand everyones body has blemmishes and we need to live with them and move on.

    Also I see you are having various tests, get Your Results and if all clear forget abount your concerns, it is very rare when young they wil make an error, your GP is doing your tests to put your mind at rest.

    Trust your GP and the Hospital, and Staff all is well and move on. Hospital test are not just looked at once by the Specialist, also the Technician and your GP.

    BOB

  • ScaredyCake
    ScaredyCake

    Posted

    I get my blood results today. Even if they come back ok, I doubt I'll be able to relax as I don't think it would pick up cancer.

    The backs of my ears and neck are tingling, my groin hurts, my leg hurts. I want nothing more than to run away from this. The sheer terror that is constantly running through my body and mind, is excrutiatung. I can't go on like this

    • gill21655
      gill21655 ScaredyCake

      Posted

      Scaredycake... health anxiety is horrible, but you must really try and change your thought pattern as it will drive you crazy otherwise.

      Not easy , i know as i have been there , and it can creep back in if i take my eye off the ball. 

      But i tell my self it is anxiety.. and carry on.. Fear is a feeling not fact.

      Hope you get some respite soon..😊

    • ScaredyCake
      ScaredyCake gill21655

      Posted

      Thanks gill. It's so hard when the physical symptoms are there, a constant reminder! Pain, I can rationalise. It's the lumps and bumps that scare me the most!

  • jan34534
    jan34534 ScaredyCake

    Posted

     I can tell you are very anxious. First of all, swollen nodes do not necessarily mean cancer. You can have a virus which can cause swollen nodes. I have had those In the groin, in my neck  and even behind the ear like you have. I know many other people who have had that also and it all ended up being fine. When your lab test come back and it shows everything is normal, the next step will be to work on the anxiety and fear Every time you get a symptom.  Do not go online and Google your symptoms because yes it will drive you crazy! The vast majority of those won't even pertain to you. 

     I really do believe your doctor was not worried about it because I'm sure he sees this all the time! I don't even know you but I feel like it's nothing to worry about  because like I said so many people get swollen nodes and they eventually go away. . But definitely follow up with your doctor to see what the lab results are. 

     Please don't do this  to yourself!

     I worried for over 25 years about every symptom I got. I thought I was going to get MS because my aunt had it, all my test came out perfectly normal. Remember something,  there is a much much higher chance that your symptoms are related to anxiety than some terrible disease. Anxiety can mimic diseases with their symptoms. 

     I wasted all those years with worry and all the what if's and fear when I could've been enjoying my life.  When a negative or scary thought pops into your head, say out loud NO!  Then immediately switch to something positive and happy. Positive thinking actually does make positive changes in the brain. You are in control. 

    FEAR  stands for false evidence appearing real. 

     this is sometimes hard to overcome on your own and I highly suggest speaking with a counselor who has the tools to help you overcome this. They see this on a daily basis. It really helps! 

     The worst thing we can do is sit alone and think and think. As a nurse I know that negative thinking can actually make negative changes in the brain. Be a fighter for yourself! Don't let this take you over and get the help! 

     you have two choices: 

    .live for the next 60 or 70 years in fear and worry being miserable like I was, . OR LIVE your life with a positive attitude, enjoying family, friends, activities, and taking control of your happiness….

    And I started exercising, the anxiety just lifted because the endorphins in the brain are released which makes you feel really good!

    .  and eating very healthy and started socializing more, taking  healthy supplements,  and keep listening to the meditation audios  found on YouTube that deal with negative thinking and fear. . I keep going to my counselor even though I start feeling better it's like a lifeline. 

    Stay active! Stay active! Stay active!

  • jan34534
    jan34534 ScaredyCake

    Posted

    Keep in mind that fear is based out of non-reality. It's your mind going to the negative even when everything is OK. That's where you come in, to control those  negative thoughts. That's also where a counselor comes in who can really help you! Find one you feel comfortable with and don't worry they have heard it all!

    • ScaredyCake
      ScaredyCake jan34534

      Posted

      Wow, thanks so much for your reply(s). Very helpful indeed.

      I got blood results back today-all normal. My ultrasound is at 9am tomorrow. I'm so scared, but trying to stay positive. I don't want to be too positive though, incase it is bad news. I want to be a tiny bit prepared! My neck is sore... I'm always tense! I've found a knot(lump!) now between the tendons on one side which is where the pain is coming from. I'm praying it's just a right muscle! God, will this fear EVER leave me?! I'm exhausted. I'm done.

      I went to see a psychic tonight. A last ditch attempt to regain some vague control in my life. She was a lovely woman. Was nice to have a good cry for once...

    • jan34534
      jan34534 ScaredyCake

      Posted

       That's great your blood tests were all normal! It makes sense that you would have pain where the knot is .   I have the same thing.  I go for massages which really helps ease the pain. I feel like you were going to be perfectly fine! So many people have the exact same thing. Please let us know how the ultrasound went and yes, keep talking to people  it really helps to vent and we all need a good cry sometimes! 

    • jan34534
      jan34534

      Posted

       And when your ultrasound comes out perfectly normal, reread my lengthy note to you on how to manage anxiety cheesygrin

  • ScaredyCake
    ScaredyCake

    Posted

    Hi, sorry not replied sooner, I was busy enjoying my first worry-free weekend since before Christmas! US came back clear! Thank god!

    Thank you all so much, for your words of support. Really does mean a lot.

    Still taking the citalopram and will continue to do so. My depression seems to have lifted significantly since the good news on Friday. Still a bit worried as to why I've got swollen nodes, but not obsessing over it for now!

    Hope you all had a good weekend

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