Health anxiety, appetite and cancer worries ruining my life!
Posted , 5 users are following.
Hi guys. wondered if i could have some advice.
it all started in september 2019, i googled my symptoms for back pain and got pancreatic cancer come up and started worrying. i went to the doctors and the doctor told me if i had it id die anyway so i shouldnt worry about it. i cried so much and that night i couldnt eat dinner, that week i barely ate.
i got diarrhea, was doing yellow floating stools, i couldnt eat and lost about a stone. i was 8 st 3 at my lowest when i was 9 stone 6 the year before. before the breakdown i was at 9 stone but i think i lost 6lbs through being more active and snacking less. since then, everything got awful, i kept dry gagging for no reason, id go days with no food/minimal food. i had no appetite. some days id be able to eat if i felt less anxious, but i still had the discomfort of my stomach in the back of my mind.
i was put on olanzapine to enhance my appetite which worked on and off, i was eating normally 2 weeks ago on them and even managed to go back up to 9 stone 10 but then came off them because they are so bad for you. im managing to eat now only when i need to because i feel hungry but dont want anything. food feels rough in my stomach, sometimes i get acid and sometimes my throat closes up.
im now scared of colon cancer or stomach cancer because it has been months and months and im still having appetite trouble. ive always been a foodie. ive gone down to 9 stone 7 since last week and im worried its cancer weight loss and appetite loss. ive had a normal ultrasound and bloodtest but my doctors wont go betond those tests and a stool test was negatice too. does anyone suffer this kind of anxiety? am i ok? im only 24 and its so scary. its like theres this block and i no longer enjoy food unless im starving and havent eaten much all day and its something not too heavy. im scared those pills masked cancer symptoms and now theyre coming back. i also get alot of mucus in my poop which scares me and large long stools and get constipated for days but my stool test was fine. i had a tiny bit of blood in my stools at my worst but this doesnt really happen to me it was when i was stressed and after diarrhea.
0 likes, 13 replies
kate65092 Guest
Posted
hi do you know how to private message, I know exactly what you are going tru
Guest kate65092
Posted
hi kate i have messaged you thanks x
randall28657 Guest
Posted
sophharvs,
Everything you wrote applies to me exactly. Mine started in December of last year. I lost 15 lbs in 15 days. Had zero appetite for quite some time. Just felt like my body was shutting down. My doctor did some blood tests and chest x-rays which came back negative. In total I've had 2 sets of chest x-rays and blood drawn 4 times. Nothing extraordinary to see and they dont want to run anymore tests.
I was put on 20mg of citalopram in early January. I'm now 14 and a half weeks in. Not saying I havent seen any improvements because I definitely have, but like you I worry it's just making something.
My appetite came back somewhat and I gained some weight back. started out at 194 lbs, dropped below 180 and now hover around 188-190... but I havent had a normal bowel movement in I dont know how long. I still get really panicky and shaky and weak. My throat has been giving me fits for nearly a month now and my abdomen gives me little aches and pains and fits quite often.
During this time of coronavirus things are definitely more complicated and like you I am fixated on some type of cancer. I have diagnosed myself with colon cancer, pancreatic cancer, kidney cancer, thyroid cancer and the list goes on and on. It is hellish to say the least.
Guest randall28657
Posted
hi randall,
thanks so much for responding. your journey sounds so much like mine. i too have had x rays and tests and convinced myself of allsorts.
what do you mean when you say fits? does it close up like mine? im also on citalopram but yet to see some real improvement!
ive had to try and completey put coronavirus out my head or ill go mad!
randall28657 Guest
Posted
So my throat has been dry and felt like I something was in it for going on a month now. I've done a lot of research on globus sensation and it seems to make sense, but as with anyone dealing with health anxiety I'm not convinced. Best way I can describe it is that my throat feels like it has a lump in it and when I look in the mirror I see little things that scare the crap out of me. As an example it looks more swollen on the right side to me. Doctor looked at it and felt it and said it looked fine to him. Not convincing for me lol.
Nobody has more hope than I do that this is all just anxiety, but even if it is I cant even put into words how much of a monster it is
Guest randall28657
Posted
i was the same with the mirror, now its solely my tummy and being obsessed with that. when i eat my tummy feels tight and food feels rough in my stomach and i dont enjoy it anymore and i get scared of being sick but im not actually sick. its a nightmare. my doctors send me away too now because im so health conscious 😦 ill google globus sensation now!
Catcorn11 Guest
Edited
Hi Soph.
Sorry to hear all you've been going through!
I had a similar issue to you. I am 23 and a new mum. After having my baby I noticed a lump and thought I'd just get it checked. The doctor told me it probably wasn't pancreatic cancer because id already be dead as it was 'so big!' I was the same and cried all night. I went of my food and barely slept.
I think you're loss of appetite is probably down to the stress of everything. I felt the same way and had to force myself to eat sometimes.
Anxiety is a horrible thing that manifests in so many ways. Dwelling on something just fuels the anxiety. I know its hard to do but try and distract yourself. Try and remember that all of your tests are fine and reassure yourself that it might only be anxiety causing your issues.
But I know how all consuming Health Anxiety can be. I used to look on forums day and night and wake up with the symptoms I'd been looking at!
I hope I helped a little!
Always here to talk as I know how it feels!
all the best
Catcorn 😃
Guest Catcorn11
Posted
hi catcorn,
thanks so much for replying. its reassuring to know others have been through it too and its a natural part of anxiety.
it is so awful and feels never ending! 😦 congratulations on your baby by the way, i think alot of new mums experience anxiety, not sure what my excuse is haha! x
sophies77 Catcorn11
Posted
I know that feeling in regards to waking up with symptoms that I'd seen.. all since having my son 8 weeks ago, lifes been a nightmare with health anxiety!! still going on now.. but as you stated too, its amazing what anxiety can cause.. to answer the original post. I've had bowel issues as of late aswell, its probably all stress related and maybe even a touch of IBS which is nothing to worry about but with people like us who have health anxiety it's not fun!
Guest sophies77
Posted
thank you so much. i think ibs is definitely caused by stress, mine acts up so bad even when i think im feeling calm i think my body is just in a permanent state of stress now!
sophies77 Guest
Posted
that's exactly what my doctor said to me, I'm in a permanent state of stress so even when I think or feel I'm relaxed and then I start feeling pains etc again its because the muscles have been contracting and now they are relaxing but because I panic about them starting again I go round and round. it's a nightmare x
Guest sophies77
Posted
thats exactly like me! have you had appetite issues too? theyre by far the worst for me!
sophies77 Guest
Posted
not quite as bad as you, but I am off food. I use to eat breakfast lunch and dinner and not stop snacking all day, now I cant stomach a full meal, it's almost like i can't be bothered to eat or I just dont fancy anything. you're not alone x