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Hi guys sorry this is going to be long! Health anxiety is taking over my entire and I cant cope. If I could just determine whether this is anxiety or whether I have the serious medical condition ive convinced myself ive got, I could rest a bit. It started in July 2014 I started waking with headaches and feeling lightheaded throughout the day. This was on and off for a couple of weeks then it went away. I noticed my hair shedding in February 2015 and started panicking about it, then I started waking up with headaches again and feeling dizzy and my doctor organised an MRI of my brain after I became FIXATED on having MS. This showed a benign 2mm opacity on the scan and I sunk into an absolute black hole of worry last weekend. It stated on the report that this doesn’t look like MS but I convinced myself it was and honestly felt suicidal last weekend. I saw a neurologist privately two days ago and he looked at the results, examined me and said the abnormality on my brain could have been there since birth and in his opinion has no significance at all. He said that if he scanned all my family members a few of them would probably have these little ‘wiring abnormalities’ and that my symptoms are NOT MS. I felt initial relief at this but as my lightheadedness hasn’t gone away, im now backtracking thinking what if hes got it wrong. He said that my brain cant possibly deal with this much introspection and that im picking up on every little twinge and torturing myself. He said that he sees people actually drive themselves crazy with this sort of thing. My family are at their wits end with me. I just feel weird, spaced out, lightheaded and can hear this constant sound in my head like an electricity sound if that makes sense. I have started obsessing over my movements are getting slower (still thinking about MS). I felt so bad last night, then went for a walk and felt a bit better so surely if I had some neurological disease, I would have constantly bad symptoms.
If I could believe that my symptoms are anxiety related I feel like I could rest. Ive read that lightheadedness/headaches/muscle tension can be due to anxiety and that after a period of sustained stress it can take a while for the symptoms to go away because you’re still in fight of flight mode.? I felt ok this morning but then out of nowhere I started feeling lightheaded and now I have all these horrible thoughts of MS and other diseases. I paid £245 to be told I don’t have MS and im still worrying about it.
Im going to be GP tomorrow to be started on antidepressants and am going to self-refer to counseling. Can health anxiety really cause these problems? I feel like im losing my sense of reality…I cant remember what its like to not be worried about my health which is stupid because rationally, I know that I could go and get ran over tomorrow and I will have wasted so much of my life worrying about stupid stuff. Im going on holiday in two weeks and just want to enjoy it. ive had the best news ever from a professional that I don’t have my number one feared illness but I still feel ill. Its like I cant believe medical professionals, im going loopy!
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