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Health Anxiety is ruining my life! Is my mind playing tricks on me?

Posted , 9 users are following.

Aclaire41
Aclaire41

I have had health anxiety since I was 34. I am almost 42 years old and it still consuming my life. My coworker said it seems like I always need something to worry about. I don't see it that way. Now that I am getting older I constantly worry about my health. I have gained weight but I am afraid to lose weight. If I lose a few pounds I start to think I am sick and dying. Recently I found a weird brown spot in an unusual place and honestly I didn't think much of it until my boss had a biopsy for skin cancer. I immediately went into panic mode and made an appointment. My anxiety was so out of control that my sons father stopped talking to me. We didn't talk for almost two weeks and I had not one anxiety attack because I was so focused on thinking he was with someone else. We are now talking again and he explained that he doesn't understand anxiety and I need help. Now I am back to having anxiety. I feel every single twinge of any pain and think I am dying. I am now freaking out because obviously I am going to die one day. But how? When? Will it hurt? Will I be alone? Where will my kids go? I don't have much family or support. I see elderly people and it causes anxiety. Disease commercials freak me out. I am starting to think my coworker may be right. How come I didn't have anxiety when I was consumed by something else? Any thoughts?

1 like, 78 replies

78 Replies

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  • Lisatia2
    Lisatia2 Aclaire41

    Posted

    Hi Claire how long have u been feeling these thoughts of like something's wrong? I'm just new to this I have been having severe panic attacks all week

    • Aclaire41
      Aclaire41 Lisatia2

      Posted

      I have felt this way for 8 years. I go through periods where I am fine and don't have anxiety for months. Then something happens like I feel a pain for a few days or I am super stressed and it comes back. I think what helps is to know your triggers. When you are anxious there is usually a cause. For me stress is a major trigger.

    • Lisatia2
      Lisatia2 Aclaire41

      Posted

      Omg I actually feel awful it's glad to know im now the only one ive been to a&e 3 times with chest pain and had ecgs .. It's horrible I feel like I'm dying ive got an appointment today with someone who does hypnotherapy for panic attacks

    • Aclaire41
      Aclaire41 Lisatia2

      Posted

      It is the worst! I feel your pain! Let me know how your appointment goes. I have been thinking about trying that. Thanks!
    • Lisatia2
      Lisatia2 Aclaire41

      Posted

      Yeah it's the worst feeling I can't even describe it it's like im detached from everything and every one like it's not reality .. Yeah I'll defo let u know how I get on ?hope it helps me I can't go on like this im only 24 and have a wee girl that needs me

    • Aclaire41
      Aclaire41 Lisatia2

      Posted

      Good luck! It, seems harder when kids are involved. I worry about dying and leaving my kids behind. sad

  • rosie_62025
    rosie_62025 Aclaire41

    Posted

    I read This with a really heavy heart as it wasn't that long ago I was on here myself at my wits end begging for help from people I didn't know.

    But I found what they said did help in some way so I hope I can return the favour.

    The anxiety you feel is awful, it robs you of everything you should be loving and enjoying in life.

    You don't deserve that, I don't feel anybody does.

    PLEASE go to your GP and ask for help, that's the biggest step... I remember going to my GP after fighting health anxiety for 6 long horrible years and just breaking down.

    It was the biggest relief I have ever felt in my whole life.

    My partner made me go as he just couldn't live with it any longer, I suppose he saw how much pain it was causing me and how it effected our relationship and how I was raising our two children.

    The doctor put me on fluotoxine (I think that's how you spell it) better known as Prozac and I have never looked back.

    I know it doesn't work for some people as well as others but I honestly say hand on heart it has changed my life.

    I used to check every day for lumps, would Google my "symptoms" day and night, cry myself to sleep, wake my partner to tell him I thought I was going to die soon almost every night.

    I would diagnose myself with cancer daily, passing out some times from pure fear.

    Can you imagine how hard that was for us all It's a nightmare.

    I really hope you get the help you deserve.

    Xx

    • Lisatia2
      Lisatia2 rosie_62025

      Posted

      Hi Rosie

      This is exactly the way I am my partner is so fed up aswell but I can't seem to help the way im feeling it's horrible I actually feel like I'm going crazy im scared of going to sleep aswell incase something happens because I'm not in control

    • rosie_62025
      rosie_62025 Lisatia2

      Posted

      I know that feeling well.

      I used to go over and over and over all the terrible things that would happen when I die.

      What would happen to the children? Who would my partner be with? Would she be horrible to my children? All sorts of insane thoughts!

      Because actually, we aren't about to die.

      We are very much alive but wasting our precious time with these horrible thoughts, please go to your GP with your partner maybe so he can see (like mine) how much of an issue this is and that you are trying to help yourself.

      I sometimes found my partner thought I was just being dramatic and somehow by shouting at me "your not going to die!!" That all the thoughts, the constant sick feeling, sleepless nights and the pure nightmare that was life would just stop!

      Some men ay wink

      You will get better sweetheart x

    • Aclaire41
      Aclaire41 rosie_62025

      Posted

      Thank you! I see a psychiatrist and am on medication. I have tried different medications and therapy. I struggle every single day. I stress eat which makes things worse. I have stomach pain especially after eating carbs. When I lose weight I do not have stomach pain yet I freak out because of the pain. My doctor told me to lose weight and it will get better. She was right but now I am heavier and the stomach pain is back. I just want to be healthy and happy.
    • rosie_62025
      rosie_62025 Aclaire41

      Posted

      I'm sorry that I haven't replied sooner.

      Weight loss will help you in a number of ways, exercise is a fantastic stress relief!

      I always found I felt amazing after a jog or a home work out, it also gives you a clear head when you finish/get home.

      It's so easy with anxiety to not leave the house, to become trapped with your own thoughts.

      I often found leaving the house difficult at times, just like I couldn't face people even just doing the school run I would always feel like the other parents knew I wasn't quite right even one once commenting "you seem like your on a different planet"

      But the medication really DOES help.

      For months up until I went to get help I was feeling this sharp cramp in my lower abdomen and a dull ache in my back (might I add the "dull ache" in my back only started once I had read on Dr.Google that back ache went hand in hand with stomach cramps when regarding cervical cancer or ovarian cancer) well before I knew it I had EVERY symptom, I could tick them all off.

      And now? Nothing! Not a single one I could say I have.

      It really is in our minds, but it is so so real to us.

      I'm sure we imagine these pains, it's like our mind is having us on and our body is just going along with it.

      How do you feel today?

    • cia42277
      cia42277 rosie_62025

      Posted

      It does amaze me that a sharp, "Stop it!!" does just that...it stops whatever is trying to go on.

    • rosie_62025
      rosie_62025 cia42277

      Posted

      I wish that worked for me! I would always tell myself to stop but it was like banging my head against a brick wall.
    • cia42277
      cia42277 rosie_62025

      Posted

      Rosie, I don't just tell it to stop, I demand that it stop. You have to be in the space of....I've had enough, I'm not putting up with you (the "problem"wink anymore.

      I verbally praise all the things my body is doing well, just as I would my child, and issue no nonsense stops where needed. If a child doesn't believe you are serious it will keep on with what it is doing...until it hears that tone of voice that say THAT'S IT!!!

      What we repeat and repeat and repeat...with power, eventually reprograms the unconscious, which affects the bahavior of the conscious.

      When meds have done their job of calming us down, we are the ones who have to take over our daily well being. I told myself, "You are going to live in this body for a long time. Who's the boss?"

      Hope this helps, Rosie, love. wink

    • cia42277
      cia42277

      Posted

      Simpler....it's not the words, it's the mind set!

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