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Health anxiety...please respond.

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Guest

I have health anxiety like none other, and I don’t know how to break this vicious cycle. 

The difference between me and most people that have health anxiety is that I DO actually have Health isssues, they just aren’t diagnosed yet and that’s what gives me the anxiety. I’m 29 and haven’t had Health insurance until now, and it takes a lot of time to get appointments and be seen. I have a long road ahead of me. 

I have all kinds of ailments. My bladder doesn’t function properly. My bowels don’t function properly. I haven’t been able to have sex with my boyfriend in forever because I have so much pain during intercourse with bleeding and severe pain afterwards. I have a lump at the top of my vagina/right below my hip. My periods are very heavy and irregular. I haven’t had a pap in 8 years. I have completely lost my appetite and have lost weight. Sometimes I vomit. I have absolutely no energy and can’t even get out of bed. I have blurred vision and ringing in my ears. The list goes on and on. I know I’m gonna have cancer, it’s just a matter of someone finding it. 

How do I get through this time of waiting until my appointments? I find myself just crying and crying because I know that I’m gonna die young. I’m suffering so bad and just want the strength to get through this terrible time and waiting period. I’m gonna fight as hard as I can for my life, but I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be too late to fix me. I’m scared. 

0 likes, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • onejess.
    onejess. Guest

    Posted

    Listen, you cannot let this consume you. There is NOTHING wrong with you. You've seen what I use to play. I too believed that i had an undiagnosed illness or either i was going to catch one. That's what hypochondria is. The more you sit & brainwash yourself with more defined you symptoms are going to be. You have not been diagnosed with anything life threatening & it's very unlikey.

    My bowels also do not function correctly. I was rushed to the emergency room for stomach problems & it was just irritable bowel syndrome. If you have anxiety, it very likely that you have that. It's a chronic condition & it causes bothersome symptoms but it cannot hurt you.

    If you've already been tested, stop thinking it's something wrong with you. Your tests have been clear & if your doctor says it's anxiety, THEN IT'S ANXIETY. It's that simple. There is no reason to pitch a fit over an imaginary problem. It doesn't exist. We all die just live life happy & atop worrying all the time. It's not that serious. Especially if you've been told there's nothing wrong.

    There's people out here with real illnesses who don't worry as much as we do. I have a friends with lupus & if she even catches a stomach virus or the flu it can be life-threatening. Something that we can handle easily may be serious for her but is she worrying? No! & You shouldn't either.

    You have yo find some way to distract yourself. Whether it's praying, exercising, video games, whatever. Find your happiness. Your health comes first. What made me stop worrying about my health is tgat I realized the more I worry, the more I was bringing upon myself. I was creating my own illnesses. These symptoms that you are feeling is your body telling you your doing too much lol. You have to stop.

    Always remember, it's okay. Whenever you feel anxious, repeat: "I'm okay". The same way you made yourself think you were sick, convince your brain that you are okay. & Your symptoms will soon fade.

    Goodluck & stay strong ?. Do NOT allow yourself to become vulnerable & weak to your anxiety. Embrace your fear until your down right sick of it & soon, it won't bother you anymore.

    • Guest
      Guest onejess.

      Posted

      Thank you for your reply  

      The problem is, I haven’t exactly been told that I’m in the clear because I haven’t had health insurance until now. I’ve gone to the ER, but they can’t really diagnose you with anything. The lump on my vagina is definitely there and definitely real, not just anxiety. I haven’t had any tests done to address what it is, and I am absolutely terrified. I just didn’t take care of myself the way I should have and didn’t keep up with tests (like paps), and now everything is catching up with me. The weight loss is really scaring me because every time I see cancer, I see weight loss as a symptom. 

    • onejess.
      onejess. Guest

      Posted

      Oh okay I understand. I didn't know you had a limp on your vagina. Yes that is a cause of concern but not too much. See a gynecologist for assurance. The reason why I based it solely off anxiety because your too worried & Your complaining of other symptoms that can be caused by anxiety, & Your saying your terrified, & you catastrophize & think the the reason for your weight loss is cancer. I too an underweight. It's not always cancer. Get tested first. Untill then, do not Google. Google why you shouldn't google ypur symptoms that usually helps. But again, please do not wreck yourself up about it. You're okay.

      (If you've had a blood test at the er, they can diagnose you) They don't specialize, but they can figure out a problem like cancer.

    • Guest
      Guest onejess.

      Posted

      I’m thinking/hoping the lump is either a fibroid or a cyst. I didn’t even notice it until I used a tampon for the first time in forever because I was bleeding so heavy, and then I was in excruciating pain once I took it out. I started feeling around for the source of the pain, and that’s when I found it. I’m definitely gonna need a transvaginal Ultra sound. I got one of my uterus at the ER and that was clear, but that’s not where the lump is. I wish I would have known about it then so I could have gotten it checked out. It just sucks because my bleeding is so unpredictable that it’s hard to make gyno appointments and I don’t want to have to keep rescheduling because the waiting is the worst part. It also doesn’t help that my dad passed away of Sarcoma which is an extremely rare form of cancer. I’ve also never experienced loss of appetite due to anxiety until now. I’ve had anxiety my whole life, and I’ve always over eaten if anything. I was about 40 pounds over weight a couple years ago, and I busted my butt through diet and exercise to lose the weight. Then I slacked off once I got to the weight I wanted to be, but I still lost around 8 more pounds without trying. I’ve always been petite despite that one time being over weight, and I was consuming a ridiculous amount of calories at the time. I deserved to be way heavier than I was. I’m hoping this is just my body returning to its “natural form”. I never owned a scale or weighed myself until I started TRYING to lose weight, so I just don’t have anything to compare my current weight to right now. I just know that I would always get comments on how tiny I was and it has never been easy for me to gain weight, and it also wasn’t hard for me to lose it once I started doing what I was supposed to do. I’m only 5’2” and have an extremely small frame. I’m just so scared about the waiting process of getting to these appointments sad I am not good at waiting when I’m scared! I guess no one is though. And I totally already did the whole “google why you shouldn’t google your symptoms” thing a while back lol. I’ve been good about not googling as of lately, but I wish I could erase what I had already seen from before from my head. I’m just ready to get the show on the road and start getting some answers
  • racheld1975
    racheld1975 Guest

    Posted

    You need to see a doctor, possibly a few doctors. It sounds like you need to see a gyno first thing if you haven't already.  I too have health anxiety but also have real health issues that make it a lovely vicious cycle.  First and foremost try not to think about what it might be until you know for sure. You jump to cancer immediately because it is the worst of the worst but there are so many other things that could be causing your symptoms.  Try to find something to take your mind off thinking while you wait to see the doctor and wait on your results, easier said than done I know.  Try prayer or meditation or relaxation therapy, try everything you can to find something to help take your mind off your worries. Good luck!!!

    • Guest
      Guest racheld1975

      Posted

      Thank you so much. I have made appointments with primary care and gyno. Everything else I will need a referral. I worry about the gyno because of the pain and because of my irregular and unpredictable bleeding. I’m scared that I will be bleeding every time I have an appointment and will keep having to reschedule. I’ve tried to many things to distract myself and nothing seems to help for long sad I guess I just need to try harder. I was so happy just a few years ago and I don’t know how I got here sometimes. Thanks again for your reply, it means a lot. 
    • tanya94586
      tanya94586 Guest

      Posted

      I’m fairly certain you don’t need to worry about bleeding at a gyno appointment.  I went to one regarding issues with the coil and the female doc didn’t give a hoot about any of that so find out for certain before you reschedule.  
    • Guest
      Guest tanya94586

      Posted

      Thanks for the info, I’ll make sure to call and check before rescheduling. I’m gonna go ahead and get my pap done with my GP so that will be out of the way but I have a feeling it’s gonna be abnormal so that was my main concern rolleyes
  • Liveyourbest1
    Liveyourbest1 Guest

    Posted

    Hey Kim 

    I’m sorry that you have to go through this but remember you are not alone. My best friend recently passed away age 22 due to health concerns that are still unknown, so as expected my health anxiety went into full force. I was having issues down there so I paid a visit to my gyno to run tests all tests were clean however they noticed my cervix had red patches and told me to come back in a week as a doctor was not available to see me . That week was definitely the worst of my life I didn’t , eat or sleep and would pace around my house in a right state . It was so bad that I didn’t even want to go back to face the relatity that I was dying , I even started eating certain foods that have been said to limit the spread of cancer as I was sure I was apart of that small percent of young girls who do get cervical cancer . The day I went for my check I contemplated wether I even wanted to go as I thought maybe not knowing would be easier to bare . I somehow managed to go as my brother forced me reminding me it was the only way my mind would be at rest . Long story short I went had a mini breakdown and finally got checked and too my surprise my doctor couldn’t see anything . They even called the nurse in who was the one who last checked me and again she could no longer see anything . I left in complete shock as I could not believe it but of course soo relieved . But as you know that feeling of freedom never lasts long and it’s only a moment of time before you question if the tests missed something or you start to worry on another health concern, mine currently being breast cancer . But my point is here is that our mind makes us think the worst . I understand you have symptoms so I totally get why your worried in fact I only worry because I get strange symptoms . But have faith , you will be fine no matter what the outcome, every symptoms of things could be anything . Going through tests are horriable and the wait could drive you mad , but it’s a cycle that is health anxiety sufferers will slowly learn to deal with . My advice go get the checks you need to put your mind at rest but enjoy your life , enjoy each day but you are blessed and will be okay , take care x 

    • Guest
      Guest Liveyourbest1

      Posted

      Thank you so much for your reply. I am so sorry about your friend and am sorry for what you are going through/went through as well. 

      My doctor recently told me about POTS (had no idea what it was) and thinks I may have it. It would make a lot of sense considering my symptoms. My family gives me no benefit of the doubt when it comes to knowing my body and just blames every single thing I’m going through on anxiety, and it makes it hard not having their support. My boyfriend has become my caretaker and I feel so guilty and like a burden. My main battle is fatigue right now. It’s not the kind that you can push through if you just force yourself to do something (like when you are depressed), so it has made it incredibly hard to distract myself from everything going on. Even taking a shower or attempting to get ready for the day can take all of my energy and I have to lay back down. I used to play sports and be extremely active, so this has been a hard adjustment for me. I’m trying to hang on to God right now, but sometimes it feels like he’s not there or not listening for your cry for help. Thanks again for your reply. Hopefully I can find the strength to fight through this. 

    • Liveyourbest1
      Liveyourbest1 Guest

      Posted

      Hey Kim 

      I hope your doing much better , I’m glad your doctor has given you some insight into what it could be and I hope that creates some peace of mind for you . Occasionally my family get like that too their very supportive but I know sometimes my behaviour gets much for them and they just blame my anxiety . Feeling like a burden is common with anxiety because we always feel like we’re stressing other people . But remember your family and boyfriend are their to support you and just want to see you better . It’s definitely a hard journey , my scare of cervical cancer has come back and again It’s just the worst feeling in the world . But I know theirs light at the end of the tunnel and we will get through this .

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