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Health Anxiety Ruining My Life.

Posted , 36 users are following.

jessica2510
jessica2510

Hi guys, very new to this but have read a few threads on here and realise more than a diagnosis it's jus reassurance I need. 

So hi I'm Jess, and I have a very bad case of hyperchondria and cyberchondria ! 

I'm 26 years old and my anxiety is worse than ever. I've always been nervous even as a kid went through stages where I wouldn't leave the house because I was going to get eaten by a dog, struck by lightning etc. All very normal things of course! Haha. 

So about 6 months ago I started working in a doctors surgery as a receptionist. And out of nowhere I began to have these symptoms and feelings that were all very new to me. And over the last few months I've diagnosed myself with more diseases than I've had hot dinners! I'd go to bed at night and my heart would be pounding and racing as if I'd just ran a marathon where infact all I was doing was lying still. I ten began to experience pains in my left arm. Which worried me due to the connection between these 2 symptoms. Then eventually I started having the dreaded chest pains. That's it. I had heart disease and I was going to lose my life to a heart attack. This is when my life really went downhill. So I had reassurance from my dr that it was anxiety. Had a few weeks of cbt. Started to feel better. Then my therapist told me she was happy with the way I'd progressed and referred me back to my gp's care. Since stopping my cbt my symptoms have returned with a vengeance and I keep telling myself 'it can't be a coincidence of course they're back because your no longer have reassurance from a therapist' but it isn't helping. I've recently started having globus symptoms which are driving me crazy in thinking my throat is going to physically close up and that I won't be able to breath. Visited my gp who put it down to my GERD which is linked with my anxiety. I guess all I'm trying to ask is if I'm not the only one in this wicked situation. And is it affecting everyone else lives likes it's affecting and ruining mine. Am I the only one who keeps getting reassurance from therapists and GPs and still believe there's something seriously wrong with me?? Just don't want to do anything anymore. Feel like utter s**t all the time (which really isn't like me at all). Some advice also on whether you think me working in a GP's surgery is somehow affecting my health anxiety would be brilliant. 

Thanks in advance guys xxx

4 likes, 38 replies

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  • sophie54499
    sophie54499 jessica2510

    Posted

    Hi jess im sorry to hear your suffering from this but you are not alone i also suffer and having cbt and on anti depressant tablets i have good days and bad days i cant seem to get my head round the fact that its anixtey i also believe something is terribly worng with me and been back and forth to my doctors and still have support from my health visitor my little boy is 9 months and it all started when he was 8 weeks old constant worry about my health and that im not going to be around for him and my older daughter its got me so down i also suffer woth the axhes and pains your describing the falling sensation i get when in bed the pounding heart its unbearable at times if your not comfortable to.stop cbt see of they can continue it or refer yourself xxx
    • charlotte96197
      charlotte96197 sophie54499

      Posted

      Hi Sophie, I too am suffering like you and have a son who has just turned 1. My symptoms started when he was around 3 moths old. Do you think it could be related to having a baby? Maybe combined with postnatal depression? I have a 5 year old son too and never felt like this after having him x
  • ben89043
    ben89043 jessica2510

    Posted

    Hi Jessica,

    If its any re-assurance im going through a similar episode. Been obsessed thinking ive had a dormant std. Had loads of tests and had the all clear, getting horrible symptoms ranging from dodgy guts, throat tightness, itching, numb hands and tittinus. Every time one pops up im googling and before I know it Ive got something else. Started a new job 6 weeks ago and its causing me so much grief. Feel so tired of it all, been pescribed some anti depressants so hopefully helps. Chin up if you can its truly awful, worst bit is nobody seems to take me seriously. Every GP I see I dont seem to believe them either, but when im calm like now I do. Then ill get another panic attack out of the blue. Chin up.

    Ben

  • charlotte96197
    charlotte96197 jessica2510

    Posted

    Hi Jess,

    I'm 23 and suffering exactly the way you are. On a daily basis i have chest pains and pains in my left arm (which of course I'm convinced is a heart attack waiting to happen), I have severe dizziness/lightheadedness, muscle aches, head aches, lump in my throat and I'm extremely tired and have zero energy all the time.

    This all started in january this year - I have a vary random, out of the blue panic attack and I've never been the same since. I've had lots of different tests such as blood tests, ECG, chest X-ray, ct scan on my lungs and had more doctors visits than I can count. Doctors refuse to send me to a cardiologist as they say there is no reason to because of my age and have no family history with heart issues.

    Even after all this I'm still not convinced that it is just anxiety - it's so so hard to believe. It really is changing me as a person and my life. I hate it! I've tried medication (fluoxetine) and the side effects were horrendous. Also I've had a course of CBT which didn't help at all. I don't know what else I can do.

    Just want you to know that your not alone x

  • jmcg2014
    jmcg2014 jessica2510

    Posted

    Oh I know all this so well.  The dreaded lump in the throat plagued me for months! I got referred to ent who put a camera down and if course there's nothing there. They too suggested Gerd.  But its dissapeared since I've been to ent.  I think its reduced that part of the anxiety for me.  But yes it takes over, all these bizarre things we tell ourselves, and all of them are anxiety. I feel so detached and panicked at times, I feel sure imngoing totally off my head, but I know deep down its anxiety
  • carl36762
    carl36762 jessica2510

    Posted

    Hi Jess.

    Let me just tell you that you are most certainly not alone and the symptoms you have mentioned are just some of a long list of what a lot of people get.

    Take me for example...

    I'm a 32 yr old male who has always been active and happy, up until last year. Out of nowhere I had my first ever anxiety attack whilst shopping in Tesco. For no reason my heart started pounding, I was sweating, trembling, dizzy and felt very sick. I honestly thought I was going to die with a loaf of bread in my hand.

    The staff phoned for an ambulance to be on the safe side and by the time it arrived, my symptoms settled. Granted my heart was still beating fast when they checked me over.

    From that day and for about 9 months after, I would have these attacks at least twice a day, each one as scary as the last. You get to notice some changes in symptoms... chest pain, hands tingling, hyper ventilating and in my case just not wanting to move in case i trigggered a heart attack.

    I never wet for CBT but I was on meds for a while, which just seemed to make me drowsy, so I stopped all meds completely.

    From about January this year the attacks seemed to subside and I went from then until about 5 weeks ago with no or little anxiety symptoms, but nw they are coming back, but not as bad as before.

    So, just to remind you of the symptoms I experience:

    Chest pains / heavy sensation

    Palpitations / Fast heart

    Hyper ventilating

    tingling in hands

    pain in arm

    Muscle twitching / spasms

    Dry mouth

    sweating

    Shaking

    Dizziness

    The awful thought that your life is about to end

    I may have even missed a few things but please be reassured that you are not on your own and there is always someone going through it worse than we are.

    Oh, and I have been for blood tests and ECG's and everything is totally normal

    Hope you get well

    • matthew_38172
      matthew_38172 carl36762

      Posted

      Thank the gods I'm not the only one !

      I have the exact same symptoms and have been in a&e several times because of it each time as soon as they see my list of mental health issues they say go home it's a panick attack you aren't dying ...but I'm not convinced!

      This all started for me 4 years ago I clasped in college and had a seizure ...now I know that they are stress induced pseudo seizures...I started reading up on brain problems that cause random seizures and I was convinced I was dying !

      I've seen a lot of death and illness in my family and friends some of which have been quite sudden.

      Then in 2014 my grandfather passed away from sudden heart failure ! ...I know the deaths that I have seen and illnesses I have witnessed are all the cause of my health anxiety... but it's destroying my life ! Earlier this year I had a sharp stabbing pain in my chest ...totally out of the blue, I was stood in my friends kitchen and I suddenly felt very faint, jelly legs, I went white as a sheet and nearly passed out ...my heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest ...my friend called an ambulance and they took me to A&e my blood pressure was all over the place I was told indigestion caused the pain which triggers a panick attack!

      Since then I have had numerous attacks all the same symptoms but now new symptoms are happening like right before an attack I feel a pressure like feeling in my left arm and it goes a horrible purple colour.

      Dr's now think I have what they call supraventricular tachycardia or SVT which translates as unexplained rapid heart beat ...it a very common disorder and can happen to the healthiest of people, it isn't life threatening and is easily managed ...but I'm still not convinced ...deep down I still feel like there's something the Dr's aren't telling me ...there's this annoying voice in my head telling me they are wrong and that I'm seriously ill and it's taking over my life !

  • jessica2510
    jessica2510

    Posted

    It's so reassuring to hear that I'm not alone although I feel for you all because it is such a horrid feeling. I love my job, and believe it or not I find it very interesting. I'd hate to have to leave there because of my HA. It's strange that feelings come on with anxiousness as to be honest apart from when I have the symptoms I NEVER feel anxious. That's why sometimes I wonder is it anxiety bringing on these symptoms or is it actual symptoms bringing on my ancidty. Caught in a very vicious circle! Thank you all for your advice, I sympathise with you all.xx

    • carl36762
      carl36762 jessica2510

      Posted

      I have health anxiety also, and it's my heart I'm paranoid about. Also, I have costochondritis which causes chest pain so u can imagine how often I feel anxious. Another thing is I work as a porter in a hospital and have witnessed heart attacks / cardiac arrests as well as hearing the heart monitors constantly beeping. I also love my job but there's the little things (and big tjings) in the background there that play on my mind.

      But, I know I'm healthy yet anxiety tells me otherwise. I keep telling myself that my mind is telling me lies again and try to shrug it off. Easier said than done tho

  • rachel18350
    rachel18350 jessica2510

    Posted

    Hi Jessica I'm the exact same as you I also suffer very bad with health anxiety and have the daily symptoms of it too and every symptom I get I think I'm dying it's so annoying! X
  • richard89308
    richard89308 jessica2510

    Posted

    jess,

    if you are a hypochondriac and cyberchondriac, then finding illnesses everyday in your work life will only add to your anxieties.  Maybe look for a different kind of job that wont worry you.

    Richard

    • jmcg2014
      jmcg2014 richard89308

      Posted

      Isn't that running away from the problem? Hypochondria and health anxiety are treatable, finding the right treatment takes time of course, but giving up a job due to its effects doesn't seem to be the right thing, and will just compound the problem. You can't run from mental health issues I'm afraid
  • louise_emilie
    louise_emilie jessica2510

    Posted

    Hi Jessica,

    You are definitely not alone.  I've had health anxiety on and off (mostly on) for over 10 years....  I've had the lump in the throat feeling lots of times, chest pains, tingling sensations, thinking I've got every different cancer you can think of....  I used to work for the Royal College of Physicians and yes I definitely think listening to stories about illnesses had an effect on me.  It has an effect on me when I hear that someone, anyone has got cancer, I go into investigative mode and want to find out everything about what happened to them etc to try and reassure myself that it won't happen to me, but of course it doesn't reassure me.  I don't think I could work in a doctors surgery.....  I've also done the google thing and it's the worst thing you can do.  I now don't go near it as it never reassures and even if it does reassure you, that reassurance only lasts for a short while until you need to seek further reassurance.  It's horrendous and debilitating but I have got better through cbt, and Prozac and good support from friends and family.  If I were you I would try and get further cbt and look into medication?  All the very best.

    Louise

  • stephx
    stephx jessica2510

    Posted

    I'm so glad I found this post 

    you have described me accept iv gone from heart attack to brain tumour to lymphoma now I'm in a state thinking I have aortic anyrsm iv literally convinced myself this time! im 22 and a mum of 2 and its hard because I've now blocked myself out anxiety has taken over and its not fair I want to be me but I cant I've had anxiety panic attacks and been self diagnosing myself since I can remember I did something really weird when I was about 4 and told my nan I swallowed a pen lid I had it in my mouth and I started having a panic attack I then couldn't remember taking it out my mouth of course I then got a lump on my throat feeling and had a xray at hospital where they confirmed no pen lid ! Haha That's my childhood memories panic attacks and doing stupid things its funny when I look back but I dont see how nobody noticed or got me help it makes us do crazy things I wouldn't wish it upon anybody I think doctors lie to get me out the room and dont trust them as they have missed so many things wrong with me your not alone and im glad im not either x

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