Health Anxiety - specifically brain tumour

Hi - I'm a 39 year old woman who has anxiety and general depression since about 2010. Some times are better than others and I have tried a multitude of different medications, counselling and even one run of ECT. I struggle the most with health anxiety for myself and my oldest child. She is 11. If she gets a sore leg, I think it is bone cancer, etc.

This latest bout started this past weekend and is concerning my own health. On Friday, I got a random sharp pain that travelled from the back of my skull to my right eye that was sharp enough that it would make my eye close for a second. It really hurt! This continued into Saturday and all in all I think that I had maybe 20 - 30 of these incidents over two days. Then nothing. When I got home from our camp, I googled what it may be in hopes of finding a way to find relief. Of course, the top description was about brain tumours and the sharp headache they can cause. So started the spiral. So now it is Tuesday and since then I have had:

• feeling of pressure on the top of my head
• feeling of pressure in my forehead
• feeling of pressure behind my eyes
• feeling of fullness in my head
• random bouts of my arm or leg "maybe" feeling weak or fuzzy
• blurry vision
• numb or fuzzy toes
• some other odd feelings

  I tried to distract myself by watching some funny videos on TikTok and honestly, in my feed, a woman came up and she had just had brain surgery. Her first words were "I am in my 30's and have brain cancer. My symptoms were depression and a feeling of pressure in my head like I had a sinus infection" (like in the forehead and eyes like I have"

  So, no matter what I know about brain tumours being rare and cancerous tumors being even rarer, it was like this was confirmation. I don't have headache in the morning or vomiting or lack of coordination or things like that - so that is reassuring - but that woman's video shows that you don't have to have those severe symptoms for something to be lurking. I also have to note that my dad died in 2004 of brain cancer so I am open to the idea that I am sensitive to brain cancer anxiety but right now, at this moment, I feel as though with the sharp pain, visual changes, funny arm feeling, etc. this time it is actually happening and I could have a fatal brain tumour.

  But then I think to myself... I had NO symptoms before this sharp pain prompted me to think of brain tumour. Then suddenly, I have four or five symptoms? I don't think that tumour symptoms come on THAT quickly? I have a history with headaches since I was a child so they are not new to me... this pressure feeling is. I've read it could be tension or anxiety but they are pretty strong feelings.

  My husband is tired of hearing me talk about it frankly and I am very afraid to go to the doctor in case it is bad news (I know, I know) and besides, I don't think the dr would order an MRI based on 48 hours of random sharp pains with other vague symptoms and nothing else. I was told I have high blood pressure so maybe that is contributing?

Sorry for the long post - I know I sound like I am going off the deep end... but it really is bothering me so I am looking for some input and feedback and support.

Thanks!

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