Health anxiety with my kid
Posted , 5 users are following.
I would like to share my story here with the hope somebody else can give me good advice or can relate to it.
I have severe health anxiety but not with myself, I mean, I'm not worrying about my health but about my son's health. He almost died when he was 2 and he was constantly sick. He is now a healthy 13 year old but instead of calming down the health anxiety is only getting worse, it's limiting my life and hurting my son and husband as well. I worry constantly, and I mean day and night. I can't sleep well as every noise I hear I think my kid got sick, if he goes to the toilet at 3 am my heart starts hammering in my chest as I run to his room to ask him if he's OK. I don't want to travel because I always worry that he will feel sick, or that he will need a toilet and we won't find it, if we eat in a restaurant I always worry that the food will make him sick and similar things. When he goes with school to a camp for several days I live in agony. Every time the phone rings I always think the worse has happened.
All kids get sick sometimes and I see other parents and nobody worries as much as I do. Sometimes my son has digestive problems due to nerves (exams, school) and instead of telling myself it's a normal thing, I call his doctor. I always think there is some serious issue nobody is telling me. Last year he had frequent digestive problems and I took him to a specialist, all the tests were negative and we were told he was completely OK but as the issues don't go away (because we humans have sometimes digestive problems) instead of being reasonable and accept all is fine my mind goes wild and wonders, what if the doctors were wrong? What if I am an irresponsible mom for not taking him to another doctor?
I'm reading what I wrote and it sounds crazy, I know. I just wish I could stop worrying. I wish I could enjoy going to places like other families, I wish I could relax when we travel, I wish I could sleep without worrying each and every night of the year about health issues that don't exist!
My GP prescribed me Mirtazapine but I gained a lot of weight and didn't help me at all, the worries stayed, the only difference was that I was able to sleep.
Can this be PTSD? Because of the terrible night in hospital when he almost died? (he had status epilepticus and couldn't wake up).
0 likes, 3 replies
jan34534 susana88799
Edited
i’m really sorry you are going through this. When my kids were growing up I always worried about them too. They were very healthy but I always thought what if something happened to them.
One thing I did not do ( and I hope you’re not doing) is to worry in front of my kids. that can really affect kids in a very negative way. My counselor back then told me that when kids are exposed to a parent being extremely anxious, it can really rub off on them and they can become very anxious . That can affect their whole life. It can affect school, confidence, their health, including physical and mental health. etc. I just wanted to share that with you because of how important it is!
it took me a while to slow down the negative thoughts going through my head, the worries and fears about my kids. Some days were better than others.
I started reading some books on how to feel more joyful and I realize that The fear and anxiety was taking away days from my life! Instead of appreciating my kids and feeling joyful, I was caving into negativity and fear. I wasted many years of my life doing this and it’s definitely NOT Worth it! I can’t get back any of those days.
I finally started turning it around and was instead grateful for having three beautiful kids who were healthy. My mind was creating thoughts that were not based on reality but only based on fear.
"WHAT IF" thanking is a complete waste of time! Focus on what you have now. Embrace it! Because I can tell you they grow up really fast and before you know it they are gone! Take in every day to the fullest with your son! enjoy him! Spend time doing things with him. Laugh. Smile. As soon as you get a negative thought in your mind watch it float away and then get right back to enjoying life. Do that every time.
Take ONE Day at a time instead of worrying about the future. The future does not exist. The only thing that exists is the present moment. if you’re having a hard time, get some counseling to help manage this. Do it for your son. Your son wants his mother to be relaxed and happy. He wants to laugh with you.
yOU said that this is hurting your son and your husband. That’s very sad. When he’s older, you don’t want him to have memories of you being fearful all the time. you want him to have beautiful fun memories that make him smile and not cry.
Remember that the vast majority of things we worry about never actually happened. Don’t waste time.
the One thing that got me to stop all the crazy senseless fear was thinking about my kids. I would do anything in the world for them and I’m sure you are the same. Please get some support for this. your son deserves it. And you deserve it as well. ❤
sasical72 susana88799
Posted
I was going to reply but to be honest Jan's reply is so good that there is not much more for me to add.
I was the same as you because my daughter was born with congenital heart disease and she had major open heart surgery when she was 18 months old, during that time and for years after I lived in absolute terror of something happening to her. I didn't sleep, my heart would pound every time she even coughed, I was on high alert 24/7, I get emotional just writing this because it was tough.
I would encourage you to get some help as I think it's very hard to get over alone, but it can be done.
Best of luck!