Heavy anxiety, social phobia, depression, suicide thoughts

Posted , 3 users are following.

Sometimes I think I'm going crazy. I'm not being able to even hold a job right now. This makes my self esteem goes downhill and I can't get up of my bed because I fear people.

im a mid 30s woman and I'm not sure what made me become so sick. I have a string of failed relationships and in one of them I suffered domestic abuse. I started dating my current boyfriend as soon as my other relationship ended and had too many problems with him but we are still together. He is an ex addict and I'm always afraid he turns back to drinking and doing drugs.

sometimes I think I'm getting insane. I have panic attacks all the time, I can't process my feelings. I tried group meditation but I became too scared of people in general I just gave up. I'm locked home for a whole month now.

im truly thinking about ending my life. I don't see a point. My whole being is taken with these bad sensations, feelings, lack of hope, lack of control, my thoughts flow uncontrollable like a river and I just can't process anything. I'm getting old and I am a huge burden to everybody.

please help... I don't wanna die. I wanted to know if anyone went through these hard times like me and was able to live again.

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  • Posted

    Your not alone, so many people are going through exactly the same, I'm 22 I also suffer panic attacks every day of my life I always feel on edge, I'm scared of watching the news, I feel sick all the time so I barley eat, I have never suffered domestic abuse I have been with my partner 6 years and we have two children one is 13 weeks old the other is 4. I find life a struggle everyday it's awful waking up thinking something bad is going to happen or getting pains from stress/anxiety that scares me all the time. I don't want to die either, we just need to be strong, we deserve a happy life, I have councilling and that helps. What this is is its a rut that can last a few weeks/months/years. It's all down to us how we cope. Do things that make you happy, talk to people because talking helps, go for nice walks and do things that make you have a purpose in life. I often panic because I'm a stay at home mum and everyday is the same for me and I always think 'is this it for me?' Will i ever get a job or get any friends, but it will happen one day, we can get there we just need to try stay positive, don't denie yourself of happiness.
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    • Posted

      Thank you for your reply! Is sad I'm not the only one feeling this but at least I can try to calm these insanity defense thoughts a little. They don't stop, I am right now trying to sleep but I can't. I can spend days without resting. I'm so mentally drained!
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    • Posted

      It's such a horrible thing to go through and there is no quick fixsad I always feel like crying but I never do because I feel if I cry I'm really letting it get to me. I need to stay strong for my babies I love them so much, I don't rink I don't smoke when I eat I eat healthy I do everything I can only ensure I don't have panic attacks but I still have them lol. You will get there don't worry
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    • Posted

      Ask your doctor for a sleep aid. Lack of sleep is a huge portion of your problem. It affects every portion of your body , the way you feel physically and the way you think. Especially your thoughts! Monitoring my getting enough sleep is what I have to do everyday, to have a better day the next day.
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  • Posted

    You are not alone. One out of seven people you see live with anxiety disorders. Surprisingly research is a slow go on this stuff. They are now moving to the gut and making a new med with pre biotics and pro biotics. It would not surpride me to find out this is from bacteria or parasite doing this to people one dat. Theres too many people like this now.  i keep holding onto they figured out ulcers and h pylori so hoping some researcher has a break through. What i do know is effects our mechanisms for coping. Which is interesting. I dont know anymore. I do know if im feeling healthy im strong enough to push through it and funstiin normally. Its when i get ill that things start going awry. So i just kind of matk rhe calendar and tell my self its temporary and nextweek will be better. It usually is too but that week not so happy at all. I get the burden thing completely. Sometimes it annoys me people feel drained or burdened because when everyone else is ill in my home im the one caring for them and no one seems to care what tole it takes on me. I find some doctors are comforting and some are coldhearted and just want to throw a pill at you and if you have side effects or dont respond they become annoyed. Hard to believe so much medical schooling is required to write a perscription. Really only need pharmacists for that. You are not a burden at all you are vulnerable because you dont feel well. Remeber one out of seven. Cbt is useful. I would suggest an audiobook. And maybe youll find a medication that works for you. Many counselors will privately work with you and on the web with skype and stuff if your fears are too high.
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