Help!
Posted , 5 users are following.
Hi all, Looking for some advice....6 months ago i was taking 20mg citalopram and had been for the past 8 years. my doctor called me for a review and asked me how i felt about reducing down to 10mg because my anxiety has been fine all that time i stupidly agreed to this! my god i wish i never its been hell for the past 6 months. i spoke to the doctor and increased again to 20mg which wasn't helping so im
now up to 30mg which ive never been on such a high dose before and i feel absolutely horrendous!! ive got 3 young kids and i'm having intrusive thoughts about them and this dreaded feeling that i wont love them forever ive never felt so low and anxious in my life! i have phoned the doctor again this morning and she has recommended sticking the 30mg out or increasing to 40mg i just dont know what to do!! im worried the 30mg is too much and thats why i feel so bad but im also worried if i increase to 40mg things will become worse again! has anyone had similar problem? im really struggling x
1 like, 7 replies
lizzy26012 emma07102
Posted
Hi Emma,
Seems like your doctor hasn't got a clue how these meds work. You were doing fine on 20mg, no anxiety, you should have been advised to reduce slowly.
Jumping from 20mg to 10mg is way to fast, you must have had terrible withdrawal symptoms.
You then went from 10mg to 20mg then 30mg. I would have increased from 10mg by a small amount say 2mg to see if you could have stabilized on this dose. Now you have leapt to 30mg and she wants to increase you to 40mg when you didn't have any anxiety to start with. I am no expert, I need answers myself but if I were you I would not go near 40mg which is the maximum dose. Unfortunately you have begun the start up process all over again. I would reduce from 30mg to 25mg and see how you get on with this before gradually getting back on your original 20mg dose. Then you should consider at 10% reduction of your current dose every few months or until you stabilise on your new dose. Withdrawal can take months or years even f o r some people on 20mg. I've been coming off 10mg, now on 5.2mg for three years. I hope someone like Katecogs reads your post because she will be able to advise you. Have you tried the website Surviving Antidepressants. They help people who want to withdraw from antidepressants only. I really hope you find relief soon. Can't be easy with three children. 😊
matthew42774 emma07102
Posted
hi Emma, how long since you upped to 30mg? i have been in 20mg for about 8 years with no major problems all seemingly fine then bang back to awful depression and anxiety with no real solid reason why. ive been on 40mg before and dont think it was a problem and have dropped to 10mg and quickly had to come back up. i hope 30mg is my sweet spot. ive been 5weeks since upping to 30mg and have had a couple of really great days recently so can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Apparently everyone is different in how long it takes to feel the full effects and like you I needed reassurance and a chat with the doctor after 3 weeks and feeling horrendous and really struggling. Im glad I just gave it a bit more time. all the best x
ian90586 emma07102
Posted
Hi Emma. Really sorry to hear what you are going through, it's horrendous. I was put on Sertraline 32 years ago for anxiety,and that was the start of my antidepressant journey.
What you are experiencing is antidepressant dependency. Although not addictive, antidepressants cause a dependency on the drug,which means the longer you take it makes it all the harder to stop. Incompetent, untrained, ignorant doctors everywhere are unaware or dismiss this aspect of antidepressant use and are continually asking their patients to reduce far too much and quickly after many years of use,like yourself.
You have been placing a powerful,mind altering drug that alters brain chemistry and aspects of your whole body that the brain chemical Serotonin is involved in, into your system every day for 8 years. Stopping that drug suddenly does not come without consequences as you sadly now know. By stopping,the billions of brain neurons that was used to and depending on that drug are now in a state of shock,and are trying to readjust to that massive change. your doctor is now trying to rectify that mistake,but unfortunately with these drugs it's like closing the barn door after the horse has bolted. Going back up to the original dose and then going higher and higher just makes things worse with confusing those brain neurons,and your body even more.
Although there are no clear and quick fixes in these type of situations unfortunately,I would tend to agree with Lizzie's other reply as the best way forward and would carry on with a long term strategy of eventually coming off these drugs altogether,very very slowly.
I'm off 6 months now after a total of 29 years of antidepressant use,and countless times of coming off and trying to stay off. I would recommend you use the strategies of acceptance, mindfulness,breathing, therapy,stress control,diet & exercise and neuroplasticity to help you in your recovery and long term goal of coming off,which I have used to enable myself to come so far. Good luck.
SubEkAll ian90586
Posted
Hi Ian.
Why did you come off if what you were taking was working?
I am on my second ramp up in 15 months. I ignorantly came off within a month of finally feeling fully normal.
I do not think i will ever come off again. The crash and then the pain of starting up again are just too brutal.
ian90586 SubEkAll
Posted
Hi. If I was to reply to your question with a full and comprehensive answer I would be writing a book.
The quick answer would be that any drug for mental health, is only a temporary and partial remedy for a complicated condition. They only serve as a crutch to help when things are at their worst,addressing symptoms but not the cause of conditions. They work by closing off the high (anxiety) and low(depression) frequencies in the brain if you like,which is great for short term relief,but is not a long term answer or cure to the problem. This use of drugs to cloud the brain and clear thoughts over long periods, also leads to chemical dependency which leads to withdrawal and terrible relapse of original conditions worse than before starting medication. This is what has happened to me many many times over 32 years. This is what I suspect has happened to you from reading your other post.
Antidepressants for mental health is similar to taking antihistamines for allergies. When you experience an allergic reaction,you have symptoms like sneezing,runny nose etc. When you take an antihistamine it works in the brain to reduce those symptoms within 24 hrs and bring relief. But they are not directly addressing the cause of the allergy. When you take an antidepressant,you are also only reducing symptoms like anxiety symptoms and depression,not the actual cause. If antidepressants worked within 24 hrs like antihistamines,that would be great,they don't. They make things worse,sometimes for a very long period of time, which I've also experienced more times than I would like to remember. They also come with short/long term side effects,can poop out from long term tolerance,and now there are more and more scientific findings of possible dementia effects from long term use. Drug dependence is not the answer,and it's taken me 32 years to accept that fact. And the drugs weren't working,they were just a crutch for me to hobble around with. Once I saw that,and there was alternative ways,I was able to throw the crutch away.
SubEkAll ian90586
Posted
Thanks for the thoughtful reply.
My trouble is i do not know the cause of my initial breakdown. Honestly i have a dream life and a dream job. I have been so lucky.
My only theory is that it was a combination of working too hard, exercising too (marathons) which may have depleted vitamins and nutrients.
I have cut back work, exercise sensibly and eat carefully.
I am in such a dark hole now that getting off the meds is the last thing on my mind. I just pray i feel well enough one day again to contemplate it.
ian90586 SubEkAll
Posted
Yes,it always amazes me how people say they don't know what caused it,then in the very next sentence proceed to say what it is. There needs to be a right balance between family,work and social life. Lots of people seem to have an "ideal life",then succumb to mental illness. Many people think they're great,then suddenly have a panic attack out of the blue.Often stress,hidden or obvious.Too much emphasis on a job,and I just watched a top fitness guru denigrate the benefits of cardio exercise because it increases Cortisol,the stress hormone. When I would go out running,on return I would notice I felt worse,and I've read similar instances of feeling worse after vigorous exercise.
The problem is, when we get to a severe place of anxiety,stress and depression, we feel like we are in the centre of a hurricane with our mind unable to process rational thoughts and therefore work out for ourselves how we got there. That's when we need other people to show us the way and think for us and advise and listen and show the right way forward. Unfortunately,a lot of people don't have that advisory care system around us and resort to drugs only as a remedy. That isn't the right and only approach,and I'm as guilty as anyone for relying only on medication and not resolving the real,core reasons at the heart of the problem. I once read that depression is the minds way of telling you something is wrong,and I've never forgotten it. As physical pain is a warning to not go near the fire, mental pain is a warning that something is wrong in life. Drugs can help in the short term to improve enough to start resolving those problems,but in my opinion now after all those years of drug taking, shouldn't be solely relied on, especially for the reasons I said previously. Lots of reasons can be at the core for increased stress,and modern day living is definitely a breeding ground for stress. A wise friend told me once, identify the problem and work towards solving it. Good luck.