help

The first thing is not to panic ...you are not alone. 

You have the right to request a second opinion

You have the right to change your GP 

You have already moved forward by recognising a possible problem 

There are many levels/types of bi-polar 

You may be at the lower scale 

Whilst its not always reliable to self diagnose ... search for for bi-polar self test  questionaires or screens ( there are many to choose from)  then do three different ones  over a period of say a week ... keep, save and print the results. In the interim start seeking help through your new contact ...ie new refferal , GP or indeed via websites (MIND) or forums. 

In the interim,  check the effects/side effects of the medication you are taking via websites ( Google etc) ...this will allow you to consider if any of the feelings, thoughts emotions could come from these? 

Keep a journal of how you feel day by day .... I draw a line as being normal and guage up and below the line as being high/ low plus comments ... it gives you the opportunity to look back and see whats going on. 

Rest is important, easy to say , hard to do ... try to avoid drugs to sleep .. use horlicks believe it or not , two tablespoons with hot milk and one sugar , this helped me 

Keep busy during the day ... this acts as a distraction, and helps you feel better within. 

Do things you enjoy .... its important not to get to stressed, or over-tired . 

Write down all your thoughts as a journal ( especially at night) then look at them in the day. Many of the things you will find does not make sense and you will psychologically drop some of these by seeing these in the cold light of day 

Continue to seek help, the process is often slow, and you need to realise that this will take time and is not fixed overnight so be patient. 

When you do find balance, look to find at why you have the balance ? now be aware what trigger causes the drop or high? not easy, but part of the process of healing and understanding. 

Finally, when you do find help and possible new medication, check what you are being prescribed and whether its long/short term . also check side effects AND you want short lead times to further appointments to monitor progress together. from the above you will start to guage greater acceptance , understanding, but also control of how and where you are going with this ( quite important, dont be led down a blind alley, you are feeling unwell yes, but keep your eyes and wits open) 

Thw friends thing is always an issue, if you find or miss the friends scene then because you feel/act different then its even harder... you will probably benefit from meeting people with the smae problem... you can find these through websites ie bi-polar support and forums ...start asking now to find locakl support . 

For me, I prefer not to use the latter as I find people are often the trigger , ie not honest, trustworthy, reliable, two-faced etc ... thats me and it suits me to keep away ...Its not an ideal situation granted, but for the moment is better to have no triggers , than keep getting hit by them . No doubt I need to work on this for sure , but hey .....I have got this far , so havent done bad from being just a complete wreck... 

trust these points help 

lastly dont worry/ panic you/we are many nd you are not alone ...keep up and enjoy your creativity ...if you have bi-polar this is a common trait ...enjoy the creativity, embrace it .