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I feel so stupid for feeling this way, i know that there people that are worse off than me. I've been on citalopram for almost 5 months now and im not feeling much of an affect, im still constantly down, and thinking suicidal thoughts, i don't think i would every hurt myself, but the thoughts are always with me. Im not after attention, i've never liked much attention, i just don't know what to do with myself half the time, my ex doesn't want to know me, just thinks i should pull myself together and has just move on, thing is my low thoughts have been with me for a very long time, and when he finished with me it just brought everything to light, and i could see that i have had problems for a long time, i wish he could see it though. I just think im i just lazy, why can't i pull myself together, how do i stop the thoughts of wanting to kill myself??

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  • Posted

    It is tough, I have been on them for about 3 months and from my point of view I am much much better than I was. I too had suicidal thoughts and even had it all planned, I still don't really know what stopped me.

    I've found that the meds have got me to a point where I can start to deal with the problems that got me to this point. They aren't a magical cure and while they improve your mood the problems will still be there, thats where my councillor has helped immensly she has shown me better ways to deal with things and I would strongly recommend you seek out a councillor.

    You aren't lazy, and you can't pull yourself together if you have depression it is an illness and like any other illness needs to be treated for you to get better.

    What dosage are you on?

    I know I sound like I'vegot this all sorted, but it was not so long ago I was in that kind of state and I still have bad days but they are no less frequent and easier to deal with, you will too if you get the right help!

    Keep smiling!

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  • Posted

    Thank you,

    I've been given 20mg, and have been on this for 5 months now and thought that i would feel much better by now, the doctor seems reluctant to increase my dose incase of side affects but i didn't seem to suffer from any side affects first time round other than not sleeping very well (this has now improved). I have been refered to a councillor, and since going i have learnt that i have suffered from social anxiety from an early age which in trun lead to low moods and depression, it's just very hard to get out of a life time of thinking!! If only i had seeked help sooner i wouldn't have lost my partner, i pushed him away, so that just adds to my problems.

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  • Posted

    You have to talk to your GP. If he/she is any good they should be monitoring you regularly and adjusting the dose or changing the medication. If there's one thing that's certain it's that these SSRIs produce different responses in different individuals and you need to find the one that's right for you. It's not easy but it's worth it in the end. In any case you need to tell your GP (or at least someone) if you have suicidal thoughts. They are a common side effect of SSRIs but usually disappear fairly early on. Don't just suffer -go and get help for it and maybe adjust your dose.
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  • Posted

    Have to agree with that, talk to your GP.

    Also though on the councillor thing, I too hve social anxiety and have done my whole life I just thought it was normal. Yes its hard to change the way you think, but my councillor made a very good point when she said \"would you prefer to stay like this?\" at the time I was in floods of tears, shaking and sweating over nothing... I'm a 30 year old man and before this bout of \"severe depression\" (my psychiatrists words) I could count the number of times I've cried like that in my life on one hand.

    I now feel like me again, no the self-pitying whiny unmotivated version of me I had been for years. I'm now starting to work through things, looking at the problems I have and doing something about them. It is hard and it will continue to be hard but in the end it is down to me to decide whether I want to let my depression/anxiety beat me or I want to do something about it.

    I don't mean it to sound like a \"pull yourself together\" rant because it isn't at all, really just trying to say I do understand where you are coming from I was there just a few months ago and I owe my life to one friend at work who persuaded me to get help.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is do something about it, go and see your GP if Citalopram isn't working for you tell them. Talk to your councillor, mine was the one that referred me to get anti depressants in the first place, she recognised she couldn't help alone and I needed both.

    Please don't take any of this the wrong way, I just want to explain the way I have started to deal with things in the hope it helps!

    Take care.

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  • Posted

    Thank you all for your feed back, i had an appointment with my gp the day after my session with the councillor and i have now been changed to venlafaxine 37.5mg and will have to go back in 2 weeks time to see how im getting on with them, Has any one else tried this anti depressant?? if so how did you get on?
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  • Posted

    No, not tried that. I gather it's not an SSRi and tends to be used where mainstream SSRis have not been effective. It has a short life time in the body so I guess it will have to be administered twice a day at least. Good luck. I'll be interested to see if it's works.
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