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So I don't know where to start ,I am 31 and I've had back issues for the past 2 years which has ruined and made my life extremely hard. I am currently taking 120mg a day of Mst and I take the liquid morphine if I need more pain relief.ihave told no one but I know myself that I am now addicted to the mst and feeling at my worse, I am depressed I have terrible headaches and I am taking more and more just to be pain free. I am only taking this at night cause My day job is that I am a lorry driver so I have to wait until I finish my shift to take it .my doctor thinks I am on 90mg but was to ashamed to tel her. I don't know wat to do my family does not know this they think I am miserable cause i am in pain but it's more than that which I can't explain I feel so down and I don't know wat to do can anyone advise please.

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  • Posted

    hi max. i don't know what to say as i know little about addiction. i, therefore, can't offer any practical suggestions, however, you have my deepest thoughts of compassion. hopefully, there's ppl with more knowledge/experience in this specialist area on here that can help.

    healing thoughts are with you.

    Caitlin.

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    • Posted

      Hay catlin I feel so silly coming on here i feel like I can't talk to anyone I feel so stupid I never thought In a million years this would happen to me. I need the morphine cause without it I am in so much pain it's unbearable but I know deep down wat it's doing to me the side effects are so horrible and I feel trapt
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    • Posted

      Also I wanted to mention that if you are in pain you may need to be on medication and there are clinics that specialize in helping you manage your pain medications. You don't have to go cold turkey or go onto methadone. In fact I hear that methadone is just another addictive substance and yet they give it to people to get them off of narcotics. If you need pain medicine you need pain medicine. You just need the right one and you have to know how to manage it. If they have prescribed you the same one for 8 years of course you are going to peak and need to be switched but beware that if you consider to confessing addiction that you may be cut off. At that point I have heard about people considering suicide so please think this thing through carefully. I would see about switching to a different medicine. Just my two cents. My mom is a RN and she admits you can be addicted to anything. It does not mean you do not deserve pain relief and that you are a bad person. 
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    • Posted

      hi max. there's nothing to be 'silly' or to feel stupid about. this is a common scenario for Docs & patients alike. your in intolerable pain & Doc should have put 'safety' nets in place before prescribing such high doses. however, it remains that you need to have an alternative pain control plan in place.

      nicola has made some informed comments/suggestions that'll help you to take the next step i.e. to discuss the problem with your Doc. s/he will be very familar with these challenges and from experience will be able to put a workable plan in place with you. s/he won't take you off pain relief 'cold turkey'. the Docs know how to handle this kind of scenario. meantime, it's important that you get all the 'support' you need whether on here or from the primary health care team. there may well be a specific forum for 'pain relief' dependency on this site. google it. pls don't give yourself a hard time. it's punishment enough being in severe pain.

      positive/healing thoughts with you.

      Caitlin.

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  • Posted

    Hi

    currently undergoing treatment for codiene dependance of 8 years. Its hard to admit you have a problem but you have admitted it to yourself so WELL DONE that's the first and hardest step ! You have taken these drugs for genuine pain but sadly you have became tolerant to them which happens with most opiates based drugs so you need to take more to get relief. Is it the pain relief or the feeling from the drugs that you crave ?? Once you know the answer to this and be truly honest to yourself then go to the doctor and speak to them. They will help as they have given you these drugs knowing dependant issues happen often. If you don't think you can say it to them write it down so you can get it out. These drugs aren't good for you in large doses they mess with alot of systems that are vital for you living. I'm sure you will have looked online at what level these drugs can kill you I know I did so I felt confident swallowing 20 at a time. You seem to be only straying of course with your treatment so be honest with doctor now they may be able to help you with other non addictive drugs or therepy which could help relieve the pain without drugs. I hope this helps slightly your not alone in this at all we are the new drug addicts who are addicted to legal drugs which makes it that much harder to say no. If you need anything sure anyone on here would help I know I will. Take care and keep strong

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  • Posted

    Hi, Sorry you are depressed. I would see a doctor or nurse practitioner for talk therapy or join a pain group for support after you get the morphine problem taken care of. Kind of like this one online but in person if you are able to. I know that I can't do mine in person until I get my set of Epidural shots in a few weeks. Its too stressful to travel and drive while in pain. Is there any way you can find another job? Driving with back problems can make it so severe and it is no wonder you are sufferring tremendously. 

    It sounds to me like you are taking a lot of Morphine Sulphate Tablets and liquid morphine. Can they switch you to Duladid or Oxycontin?  I have heard from a lot of people that Oxycontin works better because it not only provides a mental boost but doesn't make you as sick as morphine. Anyone in extreme pain is depressed. I know because I fit into this category and am on Depakote. If you have insurance or even if you do not I would contact your doctor or local clinic to see if you can get some help with medicine and get off of the morphine sulfate and morphine while you get prescribed another medication.Morphine won't take long to be out of your system. Its like 2 to 3 days,  so it might take a day or so before you can take the new prescription. There are a lot of choices for pain killers out there and I wonder why doctors do not look further into them. Lidocaine Patches work well too. You can wear them up to twelve hours. Can you wear them during the day while you are working? They are patches that stick to your skin and the relief they provide if you use them right is really awesome. I am getting another box today. Have you tried Epidural injections? I just want to make sure you get the help you need and the doctors get you off of medication that doesn't work and get your depression under control at the same time. 

    I hear that Nucynta can be taken around the clock. It is as strong as Oxycontin but also has an SSRI or SSNRI derivitive that helps block pain receptors and increase seratonin and dopamine. I would see about that. The generic word for it is Tapantadol. If you have a doctor prescribing morphine and it is making you sick and depressed you need to get a longer acting medication and Nucynta even comes in Extended Release tablets so I think during the day you would feel some relief. If you need help getting off the morphine first contact your doctor for medicine but to some that is not a good way to go about getting help because the doctor might see it as a sign of addiction and cut you off. I would request a medication change.  I would tell him that it makes you feel sick now and you would like to try something else. Morphine tends to work well at first but just like any drug you have a tolerance buildup and it does not mean you are mentally addicted but your body is physically dependent. Those are two different things. I would get a different medication and if you have back / spine / arthritis or sciatica problems I would get into physical therapy with ultrasound waves and get a heating pad and special seating cushions to make yourself more comfortable at work. Please try to feel better about yourself. You can get help and you just need to make the phone call and make the appointment. Then tell your doctor that you are not feeling well with the morphine and need to switch to another equivalent pain medicine. Doctors understand that certain medicines work for a while and then you may need to switch to a different one to get better benefits. As far as antidepressents go be very very careful. I almost died from taking them. I didn't reach the right one until I was put on Depakote at the lowest dose of 500mg at night. I also take Lyrica and Minipress for fibromyalgia and night time angst and have a supply of hydrocodone and diazepam for several other disabling conditions. If they will let you take some diazepam at night the anxiety effects last over 12 hours so you should find some relief throughout the day. I hope this helps. Also. If you are eating sugar, cut it out of your life and eat fruit and drink small amounts of fruit juice instead. Sugar and especially a lot of unhealthy carbohydrates cause bloating and inflamation which causes even more discomfort. You can also call a massage therapist to come to your house. Human touch plus the relief will help. A hot tub if you have access. Also drink plenty of water. Your body knows the difference and gets very stressed without water to help flush the drugs through your system. Vitamin B6, B12, D3, Zinc and Magnesium should also be taken along with a Potassium supplement if your doctor says its ok. I even take cranberry pills to help flush my system. Please don't give up. It just sounds like you need a change in medication and maybe you are afraid to tell your doctor and maybe you need further therapy like hot tub, massage, and acupuncture. Good luck to you. God Bless. Hang in there. 

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  • Posted

    Hi Max- you have nothing to be ashamed of- quite alot of people on long term meducation, especially opiate based ones become tolerant and then addicted- i became addicted to codeine and tramadol following back surgery- you need to go to a DR who understands addiction-this may or may not be your present DR- you need to be taken off morphine under medical supervision-do not try this on your own- do not ask to switch medications-you need to be advised proffessionaly -this is not something you want to do DIY - idealy you need to be put on a non opiate based medication - there are various ones available- do not let any DR tell you Tramadol is non addictive- this is c...p - coming off may well be pretty hard but you need to deal with this - the deppression may well be caused by the morphine- the Dr will assess you for this- this can be sorted out Max - you should not feel any guilt or shame it is a common problem- your drug use should have been monitored-that is not your responsibility - be honest get it sorted you will feel better about yourself and start to feel better physicaly with the help of your DR-thats what they are there for-if your truck is "sick" you take it to a mechanic - you go to a Dr when your sick- all the best Max
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  • Posted

    Hi there,

    ok lets take one step at a time, we need to get some professional help first, maybe a councillor (it may sound silly, but believe me it isn't, i have been there and it can help to talk to someone) I take Oramorph at night for my back, L4/5 disc prolapse, and I only take it at night, but sometimes I increase the dosage to 10ml instead of 5, but then think hang on lets keep it at 5ml as you can get highly addicted. So lets see where we go from there? if you would like to talk privately please send me a message for my email address.

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  • Posted

    hi max.know exactly where you are at.if u dont take it the pain drives u nuts.if u take it u have to put up with the side effects constipation etc.ive just brought a tens machine am going to try that for the pain.i know that im going to have to go through some withdrawal from the morph.but will b worth it to b free of it.all the best mate bill
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