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Just about to go on a binge. Dont want to, but, Tried to explain, but my messages keep getting bounced off. For any explanation - dont read this this - read -' The Mystery of The Dog in The Nighttime'

Hope I have the title right. 

Complicated. Stress all round.

 

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30 Replies

  • Posted

    Hang in there!!! You can do it!!! What's stressing you so much? Can you share it with us?

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  • Posted

    It's not worth it. Can you share more details,? Writing out your feelings truly helps and we are here to listen and help,. Since you realize your about to go on a binge your acknowledging it and there for can decide against it

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  • Posted

    ursulau...I know for me..once my mind is made up that i am going to drink...that is IT...

    But, you did reach out for help....which for me would be very odd.

    I admire that....

    I'm sorry you are super stressed out...and I understand the powerful urge to drink as well.  I pray it doesn't happen to me again....but I want you to know....that I GET IT.

    If you want to PM me..sometimes PM works when the site doesn't...feel free to vent.

    Even drunk.

    I hope you feel better and don't continue drinking for too long.

    If you drank.

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    • Posted

      Thanks Missy for your'e support and saying I can PM you. Might do so. and thanks everyone else. I did drink, and it wasnt good - is it ever?

      We are having renovation work done on our house - which I did really want doing, so why should I be complaining - but the building keeps getting held up, then people turing up at all sorts of weird hours to do a few hours.  

      The builder who we hired has a close family member ill in hospital some miles away, who he keeps haivng to go and visit, so why I just be more patient and understanding.

      My son has Aspergers Syndrome, so any disruption to his routine or the household sends him totally up the wall, and he blames it all on us - me and his dad - hence the reference to the book 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime' - although I think the got the title a bit wrong in my first message.

      Then my husband had the bright idea of doing a bit of plumbing himself, which ended up with there being a water leak through the kitchen ceiling from the bathroom, and complete chaos, and  we had to call an emergency plumber in to fix it.  Hubby used to be quite good at that sort of thing, but when he tries to take on too much these days it doesnt really work out.

      I booked myself into a local hotel, went there, had a few cans of beer in my room, went out, had a few more drinks, then - and it was only about an hour after I went out, I fell over, hit my head and passed out. An ambulance was called, and I spent the next ten hours in A & E, feeling increasingly stupid as I sobered up.

      I think I passed out relatively quickly because I hadnt eaten anything that day, or much the day before.

      I got back the hotel at about 4am, and spent the rest of the whole day in bed feeling like c**p, and wondering if I'd given myself a brain haemorrhage.

      Feel alot better today, and am back on the antabuse. 

      There is a vicious cycle going on where I do something like this, feel ashamed and scared of what I did, go back on the antabuse, then stop taking it after a few weeks. Then I dont drink for a while, then have the odd one which works out OK, then eventually, something in me snaps, and I cant stop myself.

      I cant drink, - I Mustn't drink!  I know that antabuse is not the best answer to this, but isnt it better than ending up having a serious injury due to my drinking?

      I cant afford to - there are people who need me - my son needs me. He was really relieved when I came home, even though he thought I'd just been in the hotel. He says I look after the household much better than hid dad, and he really misses me - just for a nigtht!!

       

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    • Posted

      Hi Robin,

      very nice of you to ask.

      I am OK actually.  Two months ago seems a very long time away, so much has happened since, and alot of it pretty stressful.

      WE had a builder who was converting our loft who had some of mental breakdown because of his dad being very ill and his mum being unable to cope, so he had to step in and be the main emotional support. Sadly it seems at the expense of his business, as he turned up less and less often and the work he did was really bad, so my husband ended up doing about half of it as well as his own job. He - my husband has done quite alot of renovation work before, so he could do it - but he shouldnt have had to - we had paid the guy for practically all the job and he did only about half of it.

      Then our decorator was about to start the house repainting, but the morning he was due to arrive we got a call from him - his young nephew who had recently gone to work in the USA had just committed suicide, and he had to go over there to sort things out. His nephews dad had died and his mum was in too much of a state to cope with it.

      What an awful thing to have to cope with. 

      He has now started the decorating - about 6 weeks later, and our son is now in a right state about it because of the disruption to the household. Because of his Aspergers, he hates things being disordered. He has to stay in a hotel while much of this is going on, then gets paranoid and lonely, so rings up at about 3 in the morning and me or my husband have to go over there and reassure him.

      He also had a really bad problem with phlegm and blocked sinuses and is due to have an operation to sort this out soon, but in the meantime is really suffering, poor lad.

      Funnily enough I have coped fairly well with all this. This has happened before - when I am absolutely compelled to take charge and take responsibility when things are a bit tough, I seem to be able to manage better than when things settle down.

      That doesnt mean I dont want them to!

      Me and my husband agree that my response to these situations seem to indicate that I'd be able to manage running my own business, because basically I seem to operate well when the pressure is on.

      The question is - what sort of business?

      I have even been drinking a bit, and have found that after two or even just one beer, I am fine and dont want any more.

      Maybe I am well and truly getting the better of this problem at long last.

      I am going throught the menopause, and feel generally much calmer than I used to. I get annoyed about things sometimes, but never in the same irrational way I usd to - and I practically never get upset.

      So - all things considered - going quite well.  Better get some rest now - its nearly five in the morning. I've been manically tidying and cleaning the house most of the day since the decorators left, and have only just stopped.  They will be here again in a few hours.

      So maybe a few hours sleep - then another day.....

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  • Posted

    It took me to lose everything (job, house, access to my daughter), before I realised that everything going wrong was due to booze and had been a problem in my life for over 30 years. Now back living with my mother at the age of 51 and looking for work again and realised that all of my so-called friends are (were) just drinking buddies. Have not had a beer since December 2015 and feeling a lot better in my life!!!! Stress at work was main reason for drinking........
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    • Posted

      Well done for being so disciplined. I lost my job and have been close to losing my family and even my life because of drinking. 

      I am very lucky that I havent. When I feel my head where I hit it, it still feels sore and tender and I feel quite sick, but I feel better than I did. I done this several times. How I have survived this far, I really dont know.

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    • Posted

      ursula..how long have you been on Antabuse before you drank that night?

      Maybe that is why you fell....I was on antabuse once and I waited 2 weeks after stopping it to drink and I had a super bad reaction and ended in the hosptial.

      It is so messed up how quickly alcohol destroys everything...even your peaceful night at the hotel.  It is so baffeling isn't it?

      The last time I drank..the plan was just a few.  The plan was to go to a couple resturaunt bars and then go home with some beer around 7pm...started drinking about 5pm.

      Well, I didn't get home till after 11pm...I was so hungover the next morning...that I drank as soon as I woke up...and it went from there until I ended up in the hospital. It NEVER ends well when I drink...NEVER.

      The plumbing thing made me laugh because my b/f also is trying to put a vanity in our bathroom and the stupid faucet started squirtting all over the house and those are the things that make me want to drink.  I was screaming..should I call the fire dept?!!!  A plumber?!!!

      He shut off main...and then for 2 days we had no water (the toilet was really pleasant)....then with the help of the store clerks...etc. we found a solution and it appears to be fixed.

      It seems you don't want to drink AT ALL.  Antabuse does not help with cravings...but Campral does....It really helps me...just a thought for you..and if you end up slipping...it doesn't affect the body as Antabuse does.

       

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    • Posted

      Hi Missy,

      well it was four days after I had antabuse that I drank a can of beer. I was pretty stressed - but it felt OK, so it was the day after that I drank quite a bit more.  My husband says stuff like - well the tablets cant be very strong since you seem quite OK, but the passing out thing after much less to drink than would normally make me do that - you could be right - it could be the antabuse.  

      I have drank on it before, and had very similar symptoms - feeling Ok, then the sudden fainting. I think it makes your'e blood pressure really drop, so its probably because of that.

      OK, I have to think this through - because I cant get rid of stress - life is just stressful sometimes, so there has to be a better way of coping. Yes it is stupid things like a plumbing disaster that makes me want to drink too!  

      And it doesnt end - we had guys coming round at 6.50 am. to take our scaffolding down, and we were like - 'Is this normal?' - Actually no it isnt. They do normally work more sociable hours. We must have been popular with the neighbours?!!   

      So my son woke up compaining bitterly as he'd had hardly any sleep as he has a bad cold, which then hubby got, and now I've got too. So hubby had to rush out and get a load of cough and cold medicines, and son eventually gets back to sleep - for practically the whole day, but we cant.

      So I basically feel as if I've just stepped of a long haul flight - i.e. like c**p, and we are still waiting for our builder to turn up, which he promised he would do today.

      So we get our house done up and I half kill myself in the process!  Next time I have a bright idea like that, I'll either forget it, or just sell up instead!

      Maybe I should give Campral a go - I'll ask the doctor about it. Certainly seems less dangerous than antabuse.

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    • Posted

      I can totally relate. This summer I fell and apparently hit my head so hard on a radiator. I don't remember it of course but I could have easily caused several damage. I also lost my job in May and almost my kids. One time a few years ago children and youth took my.oldest daughter she was around 8 a the time and had to stay at my.parents house for two weeks. Talk about humiliating. Today is my official two weeks from quitting drinking. My house has never been cleaner lol as I find sober Lori is a neat freak. I still get so mad at myself for all the things I did while drinking but I do try and take it easy on myself. Especially since its just the beginning of my sobriety. I have the rest of my life to be mad about how under the spell I was. I'm so ashamed and always will be but I just try and take it one day at a time

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    • Posted

      ursula...the thing that helps me get thru this "normal" stuff....which is STRESSFUL to us....is I keep repeating thru gritted teeth.

      "This too shall pass".

      Everything passes...but when we drink...we can't even be aware enough of what is going on around us...then more bad sh*T piles up and then we are always worse off.,,

      Just like this house thing with you...it may not be AS stressful if you didn't drink and get sick on top of it....sad.

      Keep trying as will I.

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    • Posted

      I know your'e right.  The problem is I keep trying to plan things ahead in detail, including timescales for things getting done which ultimately - I cant control.  

      I am relaxing more now about the house business - it will get done - maybe not exactly to schedule - but its not a business thats going to go bankrupt if its not done on time.

      I need to relax and get more exercise. First thing - some cough and cold medicine and a good nights sleep!

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    • Posted

      Don't take cold medicine with alcohol in it.

      Because that will set your system off...to want more.

      I hope you get the rest you need...I need some too.

      I just tried to take a nap...SLEEP just does not like ME...LOL.

      I couldn't take a nap.

      I hope I can sleep tonight thou.

      smile

      Stay calm...you sound better calm smile

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    • Posted

      I know some cough mixtures have alcohol in them, so its ibuprofen and paracetemol for now.

      Hope you sleep well. I'm sitting with my wonderful cat on my lap now, who is always here for me, and I'm sneaking off to bed before my son gets back from seeing his mates, so (hopefully) I wont be disturbed.....

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    • Posted

      thanks..meant a lot..i feel safe after sober for nearly 4 years and really want to help others....never ever easy in the beginning but PERSISTENCY PAYS OFF...have a great Sunday..Robin
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    • Posted

      Thanks for asking Robin. Things are going much better now. The decorating is still not finished, and the whole process has driven my son totally up the wall, - 'cos he's on the autistic spectrum, he sort of doesnt see the point and doesnt like any of his stuff being moved around - rather difficult when his room is one of the ones which badly needed decorating. However the end is in sight - should be end of this week now - and I still think its worth it.

      I am - relatively - sober. That is, I've had no problems with drink although I have drunk a few times recently, - just a couple of beers some evenings with my husband - and find that I can drink that, feel relaxed, and not want any more.  

      Hope it continues this way.  I know some people think that if you become an alcoholic you are always an alcoholic, but I have heard enough accounts of peoples experiences to believe that is not necessarily the case.

      Anyway - all fine for now!

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